Birth after Episiotomy and Forceps😢

[KRP8]

I had a very traumatic birth with my first daughter, 6 days of labour, infection, episiotomy, 4th degree tear, forceps, emergency surgery 2 days later and PPH. It was rough. I’ve just found out I am pregnant again, which is very soon as I am only 8 months pp. I am so excited but feel like my excitement was immediately taken over by fear of having to give birth again. I don’t know how I feel about C Sections, I’ve had previous Laparascopic surgeries, appendectomy etc, and I know I do not cope well with the pain of those. I just don’t know what I would find worse, tearing and being in absolute agony, or having a huge surgery to get baby out knowing I have had extreme pain following stomach surgery in the past. Please can anyone help? Has anyone been through anything similar and still had a vaginal birth? Do you reccomend a c section? I’m very early so haven’t had my first scan yet, I’m not sure if I will even have the choice to try again for a vaginal birth. Please help😢

All of the fiends I know you had similar experiences opted for planned c sections for their second births and were happy with the choice they made. I think you should get specialised support and the opportunity to talk through the options with a consultant. All the best. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Hi OP congratulations! I didn't have it quite as traumatic as you however with my first I was in active labour for 2 1/2 days. Offered a section a few times but for reasons I can't explain now kept asking to wait and see 🤦🏻. Eventually ended up in theatre with a "trial of forceps" where they gave me a huge episiotomy and used killians forceps to get DD out. I was in so much pain with infections and poor healing afterwards. I was terrified with DD2 but decided to try again for a vaginal birth as I didn't fancy trying to heal from surgery and have two to care for once DH went back to work.

I spoke about all my fears with my midwife who was really supportive and helped me to understand what happened in DD1s birth and the likelihood of it happening again. My birthday plan was very short and simple but basically said that after a certain level of intervention we were to go straight to C-section and during my labour everyone was very clear and supportive on this.

I ended up induced with DD2 due to placenta issues. Once in active labour it was fine. I gave birth on gas and air and nothing else (she came very quickly) and had the smallest little graze. I was shocked! I now understood why some women went places on the way home from hospital rather than hobbling to bed to cry - it was like night and day!

I wish you all the luck in the world. Speak to your midwife and maybe get a birth debrief to understand what happened last time and what your options are. Just because it went wrong first time doesn't necessarily mean it'll happen again.

@KRP8 my experience was similar to yours - just longer ago! I was induced at 42 weeks but it lasted four days - everything I didn't want to happen, happened and ended in theatre with forceps and an episiotomy.

I've asked that hospital for a birth debrief as lots of people have told me they found this helped - so far they just keep telling me to request my notes tho!

@Twobabiesandamadcat thank you for sharing this, has made me feel a lot more hopeful!

I'm planning to do a hypnobirthing course this time, I'm not thinking it'll change my birth plan but may help me feel calmer. I am also strongly considering a doula - I know my partner won't be keen (I think it feels a bit like you're replacing them?!) but having read up on it the birth outcomes with a doula there are more positive and I feel like having someone else to advocate for me would help too

Wow thank you everyone for your answers!! I will definitely speak to my midwife about a birth reflection so that I can understand what went wrong with my first and how we can prevent it from happening again! I think a huge part of my fear is just a little ptsd from how traumatic it all was. I know a few women who have had similar experiences and then gone on to have completely opposite experiences with their 2nd! It really gives me hope that this time might be the birth I really want! So hopeful that I can try a water birth, I really wanted this with my first but due to infection and needing monitoring I wasn’t allowed😢

Also been looking into Hypnobirthing and feel like it would massively help me to stay calm and focussed if everything does go astray like last time! Good luck to you @Harriet1989 , I hope your birth is everything you want it to be🤍

@Twobabiesandamadcat wow thank you so much! Our experiences do sound really similar. I feel the same about having to heal from major surgery while also having to run around after my daughter who will be just 14 months when baby arrives, I just don’t know if I would cope! My birth was going absolutely perfectly until the last day of my labour, I pushed on gas and air for 2 hours and then baby went into distress, my temp was 41.8 and my epidural had failed. Drs rushed in and did the episiotomy with no explanation, forceps and I had already torn. Baby came out with cord around her neck 3 times and not breathing, it was horrific. Luckily baby is happy and healthy and absolutely thriving! It’s just so scary to think it could all go wrong again. I will definitely have a birth debrief, and I’m so hopeful now knowing that other women have had similar experiences and come out the other side with minimal tearing/ quicker recovery x

My forceps experience wasn't quite as traumatic but I my stitches came undone on day 2, had sepsis on day 4 and needed IV antibiotics for 72 hours. After I left hospital I had multiple infections, awful pain and took 3 months plus to fully heal.

I had the same worries as you and it consumed my second pregnancy. After reading other peoples experiences I decided to try for another vaginal birth and i'm so glad I did. I had a 3 hour labour and I pushed twice, it was honestly perfect.

My first was an induction that ended up with episiotomy and ventouse, mild shoulder dystocia and PPH . Second was drug free water birth, 2 more natural delivery after that too. I think you really need a good midwife you can trust and to go through your worries beforehand which I was very fortunate to have

I had forceps, episiotomy, huge tear, a long labour and a massive haemorrhage with DD. DS was born three years later in about ten minutes, without even pain relief, let alone interventions.

I had about four days in labour (on and off, think he was back to back), episiotomy and forceps, but no subsequent infection etc - it took a while to heal but it did heal fine. Second baby was a far easier birth two years later in water pool - the second was absolutely massive as well (luckily I didn’t know or I’d have panicked) and it was a far easier birth. Partly because I was much more aware of what it felt like, and partly because he wasn’t back to back.

I know this isn’t the same as your story but a few things tally - def think a birth reflections session would be necessary for you.

I had a similar experience to yours with my first, episiotomy, PPH, transfusions, placenta needed manual removal etc. I have since gone on to have 2 more babies, both vaginal deliveries and a second degree tear each time which needed stitches but caused absolutely no issues and I recovered straight away from the birth both times. I never had a birth reflection but I wished I had. I was consultant led following my first and he told me I was left far too long pushing with no interventions which then caused all the rest to happen. I think with subsequent births you become a better advocate for yourself, first time round you don’t know what to expect and you trust people.
Good luck with your second and hopefully it will be much more straightforward this time round.

In your shoes I would be going for a planed c section.
Everyone I know who has had planned as opposed to emergency c section have said it was really chilled and recovery was not that bad after

Thanks so much @KRP8 for this thread! And to everyone else for sharing your experiences, it's hugely helpful!

Just to add an experience of a planned c section:
I had a planned c section with my second and it was really very manageable afterwards. I stayed in hospital for 3 nights, the pain was fine once I took medication at the right time intervals.

I felt fairly back to myself after 2 to 3 weeks, out walking with the baby, collecting older child from nursery, meeting friends for lunch etc.

The major factor in me feeling so well was that I had a lot of help at home so maybe factor this into your decision too. My husband had 6 weeks paternity leave and my DM helped out with oldest child so I could concentrate on the baby and myself.

I had an emergency c section with my first and the 2 experiences are like night and day!