Has anyone ever requested to change midwife?

[xMsXhX]

Morning everyone, I'm looking for a bit of advice from anyone who has had poor experience of midwife care and requested a change. How did you make the request and did it improve your experience of pregnancy? For context, this is my first pregnancy after IVF; I'm not feeling too anxious about the pregnancy itself at this stage (almost 15 weeks), but I'm getting really frustrated by how much I'm having to chase every little thing. I'll explain my story - apologies in advance for the long post (it's a vent more than anything!).

I was discharged from my IVF clinic on 24/10 after my viability scan. I registered with NHS maternity services that day. After 2 weeks I still hadn't heard anything about my booking appointment, so I called the helpline to query when this would be. They explained that I'd have to wait for my midwife to reach out to me. The following day, a Friday, she texted me to inform me that my booking appointment would be on Monday at 10am. I replied explaining this wouldn't be possible as I need 48 working hours notice for leave requests at work. She agreed to push it back to Friday 15/11.

Come the day of the appointment, I arrive at the location she had sent me - a community hub also housing a post office and a cafe, right next door to a pub managed by two friends of mine. I sit down next to the very indiscrete sign that says "midwife appointments please wait here" and pray nobody I know comes in and spots me! 20 minutes later, nobody has come to collect me for the appointment so I texted my midwife to check I had the right time. She replied saying she'd changed location for the day, and could I please come to the new place! No attempt had been made prior to this to inform me of the change, so I was pretty annoyed. I walked to the new location and the appointment started 40 minutes later than scheduled, so she had to rush everything so she wouldn't be late for the next person.

2 weeks later I realised that I'd not received any results from the blood and urine samples taken. I texted her asking for these, and she replied saying "all normal". I don't even know what was being tested for! We use an app called mypregnancynotes and to this day, the results section from this appointment remains blank, a whole month later.

Fast forward to 5/12, I go for my dating scan (in which I was officially dated as 13+2), and I also did the combined screening. They explained I would receive the results via post, or via a call if there were concerns. 5 days later, whilst at work, I get a missed call and voicemail from the hospital asking me to call the antenatal unit to discuss my screening. I obviously panic, assuming the results are high risk. But no, it turns out I need to repeat the tests because the paperwork filled in at my booking appointment hadn't been done correctly (she'd forgotten to ask me to sign the forms). Admittedly the hospital is at fault here too for not double checking, but I had absolutely no idea there was a consent form to sign and they said my midwife should have discussed this with me at booking. I was also only just in time to be able to repeat the tests, on the cut off day of 14+1. Thankfully they fast tracked the repeat test for me and got low risk results yesterday, but it doesn't take away the anxiety caused earlier in the week.

I'd love to say this is the end of my issues. I've just this morning tried to book a flu jab via my local Boots and I've been asked for my prescription exemption certificate. My midwife said at booking she would apply for this for me and it would be uploaded to the app within 2 weeks. I've just checked and it's not there, and when I click the link requesting to view the status of the application, there's no record of one ever being made. So once again I've had to text her to ask her why it's not been done yet, and it could be another couple of weeks before it's ready. The final straw, I think.

As an aside point, my midwife looks VERY young, and I'm an older pregnancy at 37, so I think I would relate better to someone closer to me in age. I'm also a teacher by trade and I feel like I'm at work, constantly reminding her what she needs to do! As a first pregnancy, I need someone to be guiding me, not the other way round. I get that everyone has to start somewhere, but I just don't know if I can spend another 6 months having to chase every little thing from someone who clearly lacks experience and competency.

If anyone has had similar issues and went through the process of requesting a change, I'd really appreciate some suggestions, as I'm finding online searches really vague and unhelpful. TIA! X

I had an awful midwife. Really cold, uncaring and unresponsive. I was told after I'd given birth that could have requested a change, but I didn't know at the time it was possible.

Unfortunately NHS midwives are overstretched and care isn't particularly personal given the shortage of appointments, but some manage to perform better than others under the same constraints.

In your shoes I would totally request a change.

I definitely think it sounds reasonable given everything you've explained.

I didn't have an assigned midwife in my first pregnancy, I just turned up and saw whoever was there!

Maybe reach out to PALS if you get stuck?

She doesn't sound organised however you might then end up without a named midwife so will see anyone and everyone so you need to gauge what would be better.
You shouldn't need to book your flu jab at boots, I'd expect your GP surgery to offer it or for there to be a clinic run at the antenatal clinic.

I do think you need to lower your expectations I'm sorry, you won't be 'guided' on the NHS, nor will you be contacted when there's no need to contact you (ie blood test results coming back clear). It won't be like your IVF clinic who I presume was continuously in touch with you.

She sound disorganised but ultimately you might have to lower your expectations a bit about things like getting blood test results back - unless there is an issue they don't really tell you what they are (in the olden days they used to just prittstick them into your paper maternity notes!). Would blood test results perhaps be available anyway in your normal NHS app if they aren't in your maternity notes?

Flu jabs and whooping cough vaccines were always just offered to me by the surgery when I was pregnant - I didn't arrange them myself.

You are entitled to take the time for maternity appointments without needing to book it as leave - appreciate you are a teacher but certainly in my area maternity clinic appointments were on a set morning at a set place and not negotiable.

You can always ask but you might find that she's the only one covering your area.

Yes, I changed. I really didn't like her and I don't think she liked me. It had been awkward for months and then we clashed over urine samples at one appointment. I thought enough is enough.

It was really easy to change. I just called and requested it. I got sent to this absolutely lovely woman afterwards, who made me so comfortable that I started looked forward to my appointments. I was really glad I changed. I'm only sorry I waited as long as I did.

Some GP practices will do prenatal care in place of midwives. Few and far between I suspect, but you could ask. Many years ago, I was lucky to have such a practice with my first and the GP was older and very experienced - sorted out extra scans when I was measuring small etc - a superb service really.

I requested to change midwife as I didn't like the first one - she was scatty and didn't seem to actually care much at all.

Got a new one who was lovely and very supportive. No issues and I was actually happy to see her come to the house after baby arrived.

I had a similar experience to you, random midwife for my booking in as mg named midwife was likely to be off sick my whole pregnancy. I’m so difficult to get blood from, but they messed up the labels so they didn’t get processed and I had to do them again after my 12 week scan. Which involved a HCA, 2 midwives and finally a doctor going in my wrist.

Anyway, named midwife appeared at my next appt, I was her first appt after being off sick for six months and honestly she was a scatterbrain, had forgotten a lot of things and wasn’t able to give me much advice.

I was 39 and my previous pregnancy ended in a TFMR for Edwards Syndrome so I really needed some reassuring care. I gave her a lot of leeway, tried to convince myself that I didn’t need much from her anyway.

It all came to a head after birth, she came out to see me at home and honestly she was awful. Said some really damaging things when I was trying so hard to establish breastfeeding, like ‘your breasts are very soft, you’ve probably left it too late’ - on day 4. I really wish I’d done something about it when I was pregnant and not post partum, exhausted and vulnerable.

I haven’t made that mistake again - my first visit from the Health Visitor was an equal sh*t show with all sorts of negative comments regarding breastfeeding struggles - my age, my big boobs, my downward pointing nipples, I still had a tummy, oh and none of my sofas or chairs were suitable for breastfeeding.

It was toe curling, but I called up and asked for a change in HV, just said I didn’t gel with her and I was uncomfortable asking for a change but hope they understood. The new one is lovely and I’m so glad I did it.

So don’t feel bad, just ask for the change now x

I had to complain about my midwife in my most recent pregnancy. I am pretty easy going and do get that HCPs are under a lot of pressure so tried to be very understanding and undemanding but it was clear that she simply didn't care. She moaned to me about how much she hated working in the community (as opposed to in hospital), was really disparaging about my first pregnancy (I had a heartbreaking termination for medical reasons at almoat 24 weeks), was not happy that she had to bother to refer me to physio for PGP and the final straw was when my 28 wk bloods revealed I was seriously anaemic and she rolled her eyes and said I was fine despite my having told her I was struggling - I only received treatment at 34 wks when my iron levels were picked up by a GP. Honestly, I was much less tired immediately after birth with two little ones following treatment!!

Anyway I emailed the local midwife team email address saying that I had some issues and asked if these could be addressed and the team lead midwife rung me that day and I was assigned another lady after that.

I know you mention age as a factor OP but try to be open minded - the uncaring midwife was 55 and had years and years of experience but the young community replacement midwife was absolutely lovely and so thorough and the midwives who delivered baby and looked after me on the ward were also younger than me and truly wonderful - I was so lucky to have them.

Good luck switching - congratulations on your pregnancy and hope all goes well.

It’s interesting that you have an actual midwife, I go to a community hub and it’s a team of four or five and I just see a mix of them depending on who is there. My blood test results are all uploaded to an app called mychart and I can even filter for trends in these from my first blood tests in January when I had an ectopic - it’s all linked! So I can for example see my iron levels dropping over time and download everything to an excel.

On the downside, they don’t know who I am or ever remember me. They are extremely impersonal and have only now (36 weeks) slightly warmed up but not really.

From your experience I am now quite grateful that at least them seem good with admin!

As for the flu, whooping cough, RSV vaccines, I have just got them in the drop in centre at the hospital I’m giving birth at - maybe an option for you?

I have no advice on changing midwives but I would give it a go if you can! Just manage your expectations, even in a professional trust it’s not going to be like call the midwife. Also be reassured that these community midwives aren’t the same ones that will actually be at the birth - the hospital ones seem much more clued up and caring in my limited experience so far and the community ones seem to be more about basic blood pressure tests, and checking for things like issues that need to be flagged to the hospital later on. Nothing much happens until about 32 weeks really.

Yeah I'm a midwife and this is poor care. I would contact the hospital and ask to see someone else.

My midwife is crap. It's my second pregnancy so I have something to compare to (last one was wonderful). Tbh I'm just putting up with her now (32 weeks), I'm having an ELCS so won't see her past 38 weeks. Yours sounds rubbish too!

I would ask as I really wished I had seen someone else. Nothing like the poor care you have Just didn't gel at all.

There's no harm in asking.

Hi, I work in maternity here, I'd suggest before moving putting your concerns in writing to head of maternity at your hospital. This won't get the midwife in trouble, it will highlight the issues surrounding her which may have caused her to miss things or change location suddenly etc. You may find after alerting correct people your experience will improve. Also, your local maternity voices chair Google 'MVP (insert hospital name)' They should also be able to help you

You can ask but may be at a different location.
some of that sounds poor, some sounds like you really need to lower your expectations.

as for age and your role - couldn’t care less if you’re a teacher, unemployed, 16 or 40 - it’s the same service!

You can definitely change midwife. I suggest trying to contact either the team lead, matron or head of midwifery to discuss your concerns (it doesn’t have to be an official complaint) and ask to change midwife.

Her age has got nothing to do with it and it's inappropriate for you to raise it in your OP (and i say that as an older mum x2 pregnancies). If you are dissatisfied with your care then you can switch, but it's the care you should be concerned with, not the fact she "looks young". She could have successfully delivered many babies for all you know. Hopefully when you were a newly qualified teacher, none of the parents of kids in your class wanted to switch to an older teacher so they could "relate" better.

You don't need to go to Boots for your flu jab - just contact your GP and tell them you are pregnant. They will sort it for you.

I think you need to radically adjust your expectations of what maternity care looks like in the NHS at the moment if you are going to get through the next 25 weeks of pregnancy.

Request to change midwives if you want, but a lot of what you have listed seems standard for antenatal care, or not the individual midwife's "fault".

Organising the booking appointment - mine was booked with one day's notice.

The location of the booking appointment - mine was also in a public community centre style set up, I don't think the individual midwives have any say about where their clinics are.

Not being told about the change of location - probably should have been the admin team who let you know about this, rather than the midwife. I work in the NHS and see patients in clinics, there is an admin team whose job it is to send text reminders or changes of times or locations.

Not signing consent form for screening - sonographer should have checked with you if you wanted screening. I was told at my booking appointment that I could change my mind if I decided I didn't want it to be done. I remember the sonographer confirming with me that I wanted the screening and checking that it was my signature on the form. They are the ones doing the screening, so I would say they are responsible for that mistake and all the stress it caused.

Maternity exemption certificate - mine got emailed to me and ended up in my junk inbox, so check there. Your GP practice should offer you a flu jab. I had both my flu jab and whooping cough vaccine in the antenatal unit after my 20 week scan. Didn't need to book an appointment beforehand.

Not getting the results of your booking bloods - my hospital has a table on their website which explains what care you should get and at what point. Here you don't get the results of your booking bloods until your 16 week appointment. Guessing that they would get in touch with you before then if they needed to.

Are you in England?

I've never signed a consent form for blood tests (or anything else during my pregnancy).

The blood tests taken at the booking appointment aren't used for the combined screening I don't think, they are supposed to take fresh bloods at your scan.

I've also never been called about blood/urine results (or seen any!) unless something is abnormal.

The failure to tell you that she was at a different location was very poor and you shouldn't have to chase for your exemption!

Thanks everyone for your responses, though some are slightly more aggressive than I was expecting 😂 Some points I'll briefly raise:

A few PPs mentioned vaccines. I know I don't have to go to Boots for my flu jab. I choose to because it means I don't need to take time off work to attend an appointment at my GP surgery, which only operates appointments until 5pm and I work in a different town. I also know I can take time off work if I wish to, but that places a burden on colleagues who have to cover me, which is unnecessary when there is an alternative option.

@Noodlesnotstrudels I most certainly did have my competence and experience questioned as a teacher when I first started, and rightly so to be quite honest! As I said, I do understand everyone starts somewhere and it takes time to learn. But it shouldn't be the patients' job to do the guiding, just as when I was new and shit, it shouldn't have been down to the teenagers to tell me. There should be better mentoring systems in place in public roles where the job impacts on people's outcomes, which of course is not the fault of individual staff.

@maria2bela1 thank you for your suggestion - I absolutely don't want to get this woman into trouble, but this is a good idea to ensure that mistakes are being rectified. I think I'm going to take this approach for now, rather than requesting a full change, and see how things get on.

I had almost the exact same scenario with mine and anaemia. I could barely stand because I was so exhausted and I was having constant palpitations. No one bothered to tell me I was badly anaemic for weeks.

I'm still annoyed about it and my baby is a teenager now!