Hormonal Rollercoaster

[Oli16]

I (F33) found out this Wednesday that I’m pregnant - this being my first pregnancy. Me and my partner have always discussed having a family one day and then the first time
we stopped using any contraception I got pregnant.

When I saw my test I was so shocked and burst into tears when I told my partner (who was very chilled and really happy)

I however since I’ve found out have been feeling really mixed and don’t have that “jumping for joy” feeling I just feel anxious, panicked and a sense of uncertainty. I also feel guilt as a lot of my friends have had fertility issues and miscarriages which I’m also hyper aware of also potentially happening.

I feel like I’m going a bit mental - I’m crying a lot and feeling so tired all the symptoms…but I just wish I felt joyous and excited. I haven’t told my parents yet, and when I’m chatting to my partner about all my feelings I think it makes him feel sad that I have changed my mind.

i don’t think I’ve changed my mind I just feel so all over the place - is this totally normal? I’m just feeling really overwhelmed right now 😓

Toooootally normal - I sobbed for about a week because I was convinced we'd ruined our dogs' lives! We also had a close couple friend who had their 3rd miscarriage not long after we found out we were expecting. It's not that you've changed your mind, it's just incredibly overwhelming and that is completely understandable. Take each day as it comes, (gentle) congratulations x

Ok so I actually welled up reading this and also laughed at the ruining your dogs lives :’D

thanks for the reassurance I’m just more worried what if it’s my gut feeling telling me im not ready and it’s too soon.

but maybe just the hormones ….

@Oli16 PROMISE it is totally normal - when you're TTC it's always a big ooh are we going to catch this month and then when you do it's like omg what have I done?!?!? Guarantee if the test had been negative you would've felt sad. The hormone changes at the start are so incredibly intense so feeling a bit whiplashy is expected, plus add in the sort of guilt (it's how I felt) re your friends it makes you feel a bit...off if that's the right word? Mine were still pregnant when I told them but if they hadn't have been, I would've told them via text/phone call (depending how close you are to them) so they could react privately and weren't faced with it in person.

Sending you lots of love ♥️

PS re the dogs, they're quite old my little gang so I was convinced I'd ruined their retirement years 🤣

I'm currently pregnant through IVF and when I got the BFP (at 3am on my OTD as I just couldn't sleep), I cried a couple of silent happy tears, then went straight back to sleep and didn't tell DH until morning. I never had the jump for joy moment that I'd seen in countless IVF journey videos on social media. I also expected to be so excited about telling people, but in reality I've been very blasé about it all, and still haven't told all of my loved ones despite being almost 15 weeks and popping out!

I think part of the issue is that so many people film their "reactions" to everything for social media content that it sets an expectation of how we're supposed to feel and behave when we're faced with the same situation. When we don't fulfill the expectation, we're made to feel like somehow there's something wrong with us. It's important to remember that much of what is posted is staged for clicks (in my case of watching IVF videos, I do wonder how many of the "test reveals" were authentic, and how many were filmed multiple times to capture the ideal emotions for the camera), and everyone's emotional response is unique to them. There's no "right" way to feel.

So no, I don't think you're being "hormonal", you're reacting based on your circumstances in a way that's suitable for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy 😊