Anxious Annie!

[Tee1991]

Hi everyone, I’m 20 weeks pregnant and while I’m in love with this little baby, I’m really not loving the anxiety, particularly health anxiety, that I’m feeling throughout my pregnancy. I’ve always had some level of anxiety but my logical brain has always been able to counteract it. But now I feel like my anxiety is on steroids; every day I’m fixating on something being potentially wrong with me and it’s really getting ridiculous - I’m sick of myself!

This week alone I’ve diagnosed myself with Paget’s disease because I have a dry broken patch of skin on my areola which I am seeing a doctor about, hand foot and mouth because I’m a primary school teacher and a child presented symptoms in my class and when I moved something a little too high above my wardrobe I spent the night worrying that I’d caused placental abruption - with absolutely no indications of this by the way! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I think my health anxiety is heightened because during my pregnancy my mam has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and my dad has been diagnosed with a degenerative disease, Progressive supranuclear palsy. I can’t imagine losing them and being pregnant has made me realise just how lucky I’ve been to have the parents that I do and just how much my own role as a mam means to me. This is my first pregnancy and I just want everything to be okay and I think I just feel very vulnerable because so much is out of my control, I’m not used to that.

If anyone has any pearls of wisdom, things that have helped them like mindfulness practices they use, any hypnobirthing or any advice at all - even if it’s “get a grip love!” I’d be so grateful ♥️ Thank you in advance.

As a fellow health anxiety sufferer I can confirm pregnancy is triggering in so many ways! I'm sorry to hear about your parents health issues. It sounds as if a lot of stress has come your way all at once. I'd recommend possibly asking your midwife for a referral to the perinatal mental health team. I found them really useful during my pregnancy and they can also offer support for the first year after having a child. I was offered talking therapy and found it a release to talk to a professional (mainly sob to a professional! 😂) once a week and let out all my worries, no matter how irrational they sounded. The thing that helped me most was communicating with the midwives. Once they knew where I was at with my mental health there were some really lovely ones who were happy to give me extra reassurance/info if I asked for it. They also told me politely to get a grip/stay off Google when needed! 😂 Mindfulness hasn't worked for me yet although I know some who swear by it. I don't have the discipline not to just sit there and worry. Doing fun/relaxing things like going swimming helped take my mind off things temporarily. I found that as soon as my baby was born my anxiety reduced considerably because I could see her and tend to her and everything started feeling a bit more under control again. Best of luck - it sounds like you're resilient, self-aware and doing a great job! :)

Thank you for your kind response 🤍 my sister is a mental health nurse on the perinatal team so I’m going to speak to her about how I’m feeling. Thank you again!