How to tell 3 year old I’m pregnant/ she’ll have a new sibling?

[TwinkleTwinkleX]

Hey!

We are due to have our 12 week scan next week and all being well want to tell our 3 year old we are pregnant/ expecting a new addition to the family.
Any tips or experience of doing this?
Shes very clever, smart and loving and loves babies. She is very much the centre of our attention so not too sure what she will think of the concept initially. Also mindful and actual baby sibling is a way off! Would love to hear your thoughts x

Leave it, she has little comprehension of time and won’t be able to wait for it without asking you every five minutes for the next 28 weeks. You’ll have to tell her when you start to show and then you can say something like do you know what mummy‘s got in her tummy? It’s a baby. You’re going to be a big sister, et cetera et cetera.

Ooh I'm not sure I would until I was further along/had a visible bump. Only because the thought of 6 months of questions or tantrums about the baby wood send me over the edge.

I would go with something very straightforward like "guess what mummy's got in her tummy!"

Definitely wait. You're only going to be 12 weeks to be honest even telling them at 20 + weeks will still feel like a lifetime for a 3 year old. When you get further along share the idea with her and maybe read some books or talk about any friends she has who have younger siblings but there really is no rush she simply won't comprehend the amount of time to wait and if you tell her so soon any initial excitement will be long gone before you even start to show.

Thanks for your messages. I guess im concerned other family members or friends might speak about it by accident ahead of us..

We showed pictures of me pregnant with DS, and said ‘mummy grew you in her tummy. Mummy has another baby in her tummy! Her tummy will get bigger and bigger, and one day - the baby will be born and come to live with us’
We have a bundle of books, and he occasionally brings it up or asks a question but generally not his main focus.

We told DD1 (who was about 2.5) after the 12-week-scan. We just told her that Mummy had a baby growing in her tummy. She actually came along with us to a scan to find out baby's sex at 16 weeks, and she was so excited because the baby 'waved at her'

Life just carries on as normal for them anyway, she would comment sometimes on my tummy getting bigger, she liked to watch it ripple and move and put her hand on when I was further along, cuddle it to cuddle the baby, but otherwise things just went on as usual. She didn't seem impatient about it and didn't ask when baby was coming repeatedly.

We got a really nice book about it too, let me find what it's called!

Here it is. DD1 still likes reading it now and DD2 is 2!

amzn.eu/d/6QYy7XC

We didn't tell DS1 for ages - he was only 2. When he did find and we asked if he would like a brother or a sister, he said he'd like a Kitkat.

My eldest was just under 3 and I just said I have a baby in my tummy, she replied ‘I know’. Kids are more perceptive than you think!

When we told our 3 year old about dd2 she would go long periods of time not even mentioning it 😂 I feel they're quite young to take on board the magnitude of it all so all you need to say is something like "mummy has a baby in her tummy, a brother or sister for you " and that's the level it needs to be for a 3 year old I think. congratulations 😁

Congratulations!

Personally, I’d wait a bit longer before telling her. 6 months is a huge chunk of a 3yo’s lifetime and a long time for them to wait for something!

I’m 24 weeks pregnant and we told our 3.5 and 1.5yo last week that we are expecting another baby. Obviously the little one didn’t give a stuff, but the eldest will talk about it every few days and keeps asking when it’s coming out, so I’m glad I haven’t already been doing this for 12 weeks! I suppose I haven’t had to explain that much about what having another baby will mean because he’s already a big brother.

We introduced a book called something like "there's a house inside my mummy" into the bedtime story rotation. Then i told her around 16-20w? Basically when I was showing enough that she needed to start being more careful around the bump. It still felt like a really long time!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-House-Inside-My-Mummy/dp/1841210684/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=34IU3LL5T583&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.3i4rO929sejyjRMAbBdaPEgfh7x3lJG8WytWoQsq6wS9v0oa62XGMQ6b1evv9tiqLOYbJ3HhCQA2O1UBtxB91ktubiJSV4_Lt0vpHqghXKJNN8ECFB8BzMdv9h5jBGNpqqwz8DsIrTlVbR96_pgqJC3jJwGRYXT35VFx1BTJA48hvq-BbUXFIa8xzbZQ8A6SR9v7C7VirEs_wxLgTPYF3w.0lsNvgimvFcBa1wLdME1Fxm2bU1kSJr-SWRAuQkpozY&dib_tag=se&keywords=theres+a+house+inside+my+mummy+book&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1733435023&sprefix=theres+a+h%2Caps%2C91&sr=8-1 this is the link to it

We just told DD1 (then just short of 3 years old) that mummy had another baby in her tummy. We had to take her with us to the 12/13 week scan due to lack of childcare anyway so that was when we told her.

She was pleased and excited, but didn't go overboard. She didn't ask about the baby every five minutes either so didn't drive me round the bend. In fact, like many young children she had a very limited attention span. She was no more interested in the unborn baby for longer than 30 seconds than she was in anything else.

We wanted to tell her before she began hearing it from other people first.

I think I would have to say something too, I know the waiting is long but I'd like to be able to talk about it with other people in the child's presence.. otherwise you're in that space of trying to keep other people from saying anything or little one from hearing etc, just feels like too much work when you're pregnant!

Roughly same age daughter. We bought a book called there's a baby in mummy's tummy. It's quite sweet.

Don’t do what my friend did asked -
’would you like a new brother or sister?”
they said no.

thankfully she had the sense to deflect and then worded it differently a few weeks later.

I actually can’t remember how I told either child!

@Noodlesnotstrudels that's the book I meant! 🤦🏼‍♀️

My three year old just looked at me one day and asked if I had a baby in my tummy … so a week or so later when I had my scan I just confirmed that she was right but that baby is in my uterus. No one told her (only my mum knew) but she’s far too clever for her own good.

As others said, it has been a long wait for her but since she’d figured it out there wasn’t much point waiting after I’d got confirmation. Although I do get woken up most days with ‘is today the day the baby is going to pop out of your vagina?’ Which is a lovely reminder of the joys of pregnancy.

i also got her the book ‘ nine months’ which is lovely as it’s gently factual. (Although less than ideally does show a traditional family and I’m an IMBC)

I told my then 2yr 8 month daughter the day I found out-at 5 weeks! I just said "guess what? Mummy has a baby in her tummy, they're coming at Christmas". She hasn't tantrummed, she doesn't ask me questions every 5 minutes. She's only really started to tell people since I was about 7 months and showing properly. She has been so excited it's been lovely but not difficult for her at all to be patient.

Our DD1 is 4 so a little older but we told her after the NIPT and 12 weeks scan for the same reason that we were telling others.
We had a few chats first about how she grew in mummy's tummy and that's where baby's come from, I showed her pictures from when i was pregnant with her etc.
Later I showed her a scan photo and said that's a baby growing inside mummy's tummy, you're going to be a big sister.
Now I'm 24 weeks and she's been amazing - she kisses the bump and talks regularly about 'baby sister', what she's going to help with, what they can do together etc. Very, very sweet.
She doesn't have much concept of time so I've said that when mummies tummy grows this big, that's when baby sister will be ready to come out.

My 4 year old DD did the same before we told her: she started stroking my tummy when we were doing bedtime and said Mummy, is there a baby inside your tummy?', I didn't answer as was pretty stunned and she put her head to my belly and said 'ah, yes there is' then changed the subject. I was only about 9 or 10 weeks at the time.

We took my then 3yo to the scan as we said we thought there was something in my tummy and we were going to check it out. She (now 10!) still remembers me having to jump up and down and then seeing the baby for the first time - when she twigged what it was, she said, ‘oh Mummy, you’ve got me a BABY, thank you!’ 🤩

We told our 9 and 3 yos together after my 12w scan. DD2 was only just 3 at the time.

We just showed them the scan picture which DD1 got immediately and we said there was a baby growing in my tummy who would be here when they were ready. DD2 understood almost immediately as well. It helped that SIL was pregnant at the time too so we’d already explained it and she’d seen a pregnant tummy.

They both loved then telling their aunts and uncles on FaceTime.

DD2 had loads of time to ask about her baby brother and she adored him even when I was still pregnant. She’s been a doting big sister from day 1.

We told DD at 17 weeks, after an early anomaly scan, but we didn't tell anyone else (except our parents, who we trusted to not say anything) until after she knew so she didn't find out accidentally. She hasn't kept asking when the baby's coming (too preoccupied by Christmas 😆), just knows that at some point, the baby will come out and I'll go to the hospital with daddy and she'll stay with granny or grandma and grandpa.

Did prompt a slightly awkward conversation at nursery, though when she told some of the staff there was a baby in my tummy, and her key worker was trying to find out a subtle way of asking me 😆