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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Announcing my pregnancy to husbands Arab family

4 replies

Catk34 · 04/12/2024 18:52

My husband is Jordanian and comes from a very large and very close family. We have a big family WhatsApp and the phone is always pinging all day long.
Recently we shared the news about my pregnancy with friends, family etc and as expected all my friends and family showed a lot of excitement and sent messages of congratulations. On the other hand, I got a congratulations from his parents but none of his siblings/in laws have said a single word. When we got married there was huge celebrations and phone calls, elaborate gifts etc from his 5 siblings and in laws. I was expecting a lot of excitement from them all to find out we were having a baby, but I haven’t had one single message.
Im just wondering if anyone can tell me if there is either: 1. A cultural difference I am unaware of or 2. His family just have that many kids they just aren’t bothered about another one?
I don’t want to ask my husband incase the answer is that they just don’t care and I make his family look bad (but that wouldn’t be in their nature)
Im also remembering several times in the past when one of his sisters in law would have a baby and the first I would hear about it was once the baby had been born and my husband would tell me ‘ oh …… just had a baby girl’ and I was like hang on, you didn’t even tell me she was pregnant. I always just assumed that he just wasn’t interested enough to mention it, but maybe there’s another reason..

OP posts:
NautilusLionfish · 04/12/2024 19:00

Congratulations op.
I come from a non western, non Arab culture. Partly because of uncertainty around pregnancies including infant and maternal deaths, many cultures are just not as celebratory about pregnancies as the West is. It's almost an emotional shield even where odds have vastly improved. If I announced pregnancy, my sister might say good luck or congrats but that is a new phenomenon (just as pregnancy announcements and dare I say, obsessive celebrations around it a relatively new in the west. A couple of decades old). And their msgs would be muted and possibly including prayers.
So this is nothing against you. As you say it was muted for your SIL too. Celebrate and enjoy your pregnancy and know that they are excited and happy for you. They just do it differently

Original poster
Catk34 · 04/12/2024 19:22

NautilusLionfish · 04/12/2024 19:00

Congratulations op.
I come from a non western, non Arab culture. Partly because of uncertainty around pregnancies including infant and maternal deaths, many cultures are just not as celebratory about pregnancies as the West is. It's almost an emotional shield even where odds have vastly improved. If I announced pregnancy, my sister might say good luck or congrats but that is a new phenomenon (just as pregnancy announcements and dare I say, obsessive celebrations around it a relatively new in the west. A couple of decades old). And their msgs would be muted and possibly including prayers.
So this is nothing against you. As you say it was muted for your SIL too. Celebrate and enjoy your pregnancy and know that they are excited and happy for you. They just do it differently

That’s really interesting, I was wondering if it might be something along these lines. Thanks for your response!

OP posts:
Annoymous3659 · 04/12/2024 20:12

Many congratulations to you and your husband. My family originate from India and culturally it will be different but there may be some similarities. When it comes to pregnancies whilst we are happy it’s not demonstrated outwardly too much or overwhelmingly. Getting “excited” can sometimes be considered not good luck. It’s rooted in concern about something going wrong. But when baby is born then the celebrations are roaring!

Original poster
Catk34 · 04/12/2024 22:33

Annoymous3659 · 04/12/2024 20:12

Many congratulations to you and your husband. My family originate from India and culturally it will be different but there may be some similarities. When it comes to pregnancies whilst we are happy it’s not demonstrated outwardly too much or overwhelmingly. Getting “excited” can sometimes be considered not good luck. It’s rooted in concern about something going wrong. But when baby is born then the celebrations are roaring!

Thanks for educating me on this! It seemed so out of character for my brothers and sisters in law to remain so quiet on something so huge, but this makes a lot of sense!

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