Terrified of missed miscarriage!

[Snickerdoodle55]

Hi!

I am 10 weeks + 5 days pregnant today. Second pregnancy, one previous very early miscarriage.

Had a viability scan at 6 weeks, all fine and then an NHS scan due to lots of cramping at 8 weeks. Also all fine.

I have had no bleeding or even spotting the whole way through. I was so sick that I was even hospitalised to be given IV fluids weeks 7-9 as I just couldn’t keep anything down.

Since the middle of last week I have had very few symptoms. Boobs hurting a lot less, no sickness and just a few waves of nausea.

My 12 week scan isn’t till Friday 13th (!!) and I am just so worried that I will arrive to find out there’s no heartbeat hence the sudden drop in symptoms.

Googling obsessively and feeling super anxious and just really looking for any reassurance.

I have been trying to find out the likelihood of having a miscarriage without symptoms but am struggling to find any real data on it.

My mind is racing a million miles an hour and I know the stress is the worst thing for me and the baby so I’m trying not to but just winding myself up even more!

I know that missed and silent miscarriages do happen and I’m just so frightened of this outcome that I think I’m trying to prepare myself for the worst but that means I’m not enjoying feeling any better as I’m so worried. I do have a long history of anxiety related issues and this just seems to have heightened everything.

Not sure what I’m looking for really posting here! Has anyone felt the same? Am I right to be so worried? Any tips on ‘relaxing and hoping for the best’ which seems to be the most common advice?

Thank you for reading

I felt the exact same. I was obsessed with it and was scared I was manifesting it and was going to trick my brain into miscarrying because the mind is so powerful and I was thinking of it happening everyday. It was unbearably and so scary.

i had one scan at 8w3d and all was fine. Then not again until 11w6d. To be honest I don’t know how I didn’t give into the temptation of booking private scans. My partner didn’t want to because he knew it was just bad for me to constantly need the reassuring. A bit like once I do it once will I just need it constantly.

the wait is horrific. I would check everyday that my boobs still hurt so that was my biggest comfort and I’d tell myself ok I must still be pregnant even though I know some mmc have all the symptoms still.

It’s rough. My anxiety is because of a sixteen week loss in May. Tbh I thought once I had my 12 weeks scan and blood NIPT results I’d relax and although in relieved and anxiety has lessened, I still feel a bit lost today.

I heard that the sight of a heartbeat at 8 weeks means the chance of miscarriage is lower.

its really hard.

Thank you so much for your reply! Makes me feel a bit less alone for sure. Wishing you all the best!

I could have written your post word for word in the run up to my 12 week scan. I’d had a scan where all was good at 8 weeks, but my symptoms dropped off a cliff at 11 weeks and I was convinced I’d had a missed miscarriage. Each day I’d be obsessing over the lack of symptoms, squeezing my boobs to see if they were still sore and trying the foods I’d had aversions to previously. Anyway when my 12 week scan came the little baby popped up straight away and everything was absolutely fine. Symptoms do start to drop off at the end of the first trimester and it’s terrible timing if it happens just before your scan. I think how you are feeling is super common and you just have to try and remember that symptoms aren’t a great judge of whether or not things are ok, and that the overwhelming odds are that everything is just fine. It’s so hard though, best of luck to you x

This time in particular I think is the most anxious time in the whole pregnancy so you're definitely not alone in how you're feeling. It's awful and I'm exactly the same before every scan, googling all sorts and convincing myself something is wrong.

One thing to remember is that the odds of MC drop significantly once you've seen a healthy HB at 8+ weeks.
Maybe try and focus on those positive statistics then the negative ones

The symptoms subside as the placenta takes over.

If it's any reassurance I've had a mmc and that was the one where I felt most pregnant at the 12 week scan ( was a molar pregnancy so hcg extra high), both successful pregnancies the symptoms disappeared before 12 weeks. Don't get too comfy though, they came back later on! Not log till your 12 weeks scan now.

I'm sorry you feel like this but symptoms changing aren't a sign. I sadly had a MMC earlier in the year and still had symptoms. I'm now 26 weeks pregnant and the early weeks I was an anxious mess and actually had less symptoms than I did with the miscarriage but everything was fine. I know it's hard but try not to worry, it's more likely everything will be ok 🩷

I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Like the pp I had a missed miscarriage in July and my symptoms were still getting stronger until the day I had surgical management, even when I know the heartbeat had stopped. Unfortunately symptoms are not an indication of whether a pregnancy is going to be successful, and you're also at the point where you've reached peak in a few hormones and the placenta is taking over, so it's relatively common to experience reduced symptoms at the end of the first trimester.

I've had 3 MMCs now (which is relatively unusual) and I'm pregnant for the 4th time. My anxiety is less because I've truly accepted I can't do anything to change any outcome, and the anxiety just made everything feel worse. Of course I don't want it to happen again and have to go through all that, but knowing you can't change anything, and just have to take each day at a time really helped me (I did have therapy after the loss too which I'm sure has helped).

Thanks very much all for sharing your experiences, much appreciated ♥️

Hi @Snickerdoodle55, I had a MMC in the summer (also my first pregnancy) and now I'm about a week ahead of where you are now and trying to stay sane too. 😊

My symptoms come and go - I have days where I can't keep anything down, other days where I'm not sick at all. I've been told it should ease off at the end of the first trimester as the placenta takes over. Other symptoms I've had all come and go all the time.

It's really hard not to worry after a MMC, because if you're losing then there's nothing you can do to stop it. But in terms of staying sane, worrying about it can't change the outcome and isn't doing you any good. When I start to spiral I tell myself to just think about today. Today I'm doing okay. Right now, I am not physically miscarrying, so I don't need all the adrenaline and grief that comes with that. I'll deal with tomorrow after today. I take a deep breath and try to think of something else. I'm 11+3 now and that's all that's got me through the last few weeks. But I'm still here, and I'm still okay. And so are you.

Another thing that's helped me is to promise myself to assume everything is okay - that "no news is good news" - until I have a specific reason or evidence to believe otherwise, like sudden pain or bleeding. A sudden loss of symptoms can be scary but keep an eye on it, some may come back just less (e.g. nausea rather than vomiting).

The odds of a baby sticking are much better the further along you are, so there's some comfort in that too. 🌈 Fingers crossed for your scan, but be kind to your mind in the meantime. Take some time out and step away from Google. ❤️

datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

Do you like numbers OP? I found this calculator reassuring as the risk is really low at this point.

For me, I needed distraction (from both anxious brain and nausea) so played a disgraceful amount of Candy Crush.

Symptoms mean nothing about the health of a pregnancy as others have said, but it's still hard to enjoy a break from them! From 10 weeks or so the placenta takes over more so symptoms often improve

Hi all

I just wanted to share that I had my 12 week scan today and everything was great! Baby wiggling about and doing flips, almost as if to say ‘hello, look how alive I am’!

Thanks for all of the supportive messages. So very appreciated x