Partner cheating in pregnancy?

[BreezyMintDeer]

Hi
im 24 weeks pregnant and I have just found out that my partner has been paying subscriptions to only fans whilst I’ve been pregnant.
early in the relationship I saw he followed some only fans girls accounts on instagram and I told him that I didn’t find it acceptable to view stuff like that in a relationship so I feel I made my boundaries clear early on. He unfollowed all of the accounts at the time and I thought that was it.
he was scrolling through his pictures whilst we were in bed on Sunday and a screenshot of an only fans profile came up. I asked him what it was and he said it was from ages ago and someone had sent it to him and he removed it off his phone and apologised and said it shouldn’t have been there. I was concerned because he couldn’t prove that someone else had sent it to him. He told me that he didn’t have only fans and he would never do anything like that to jeopardise our relationship or family. I said ok let’s prove it then, so I tried to sign up to only fans with his email and it said the account was already registered. I asked him if he had used it before he said yes but it was ages ago and he doesn’t use it now so I said log into the account and show me then. Surprise surprise he said he didn’t know the password so I said reset your password then now so we can get on it.
once I eventually got on the account I could see that he had spent £140 on subscriptions whilst I had been pregnant. He has only contributed £50 to buying our sons things so far and I’ve been buying everything.
Ive been absolutely heartbroken because our sex life hasn’t been great and I was blaming myself thinking it was my fault because my body had changed and I was ugly, turns out he was just sorting himself out.
i went through the rest of his phone and found another screenshot of a porn website 2 weeks ago and another screenshot from “Fanvue” from 4 weeks ago which I believe is similar to only fans.
I asked him why he’s screenshotting it and he said he must of done it by accident but I don’t believe him. Why would he screenshot it I don’t understand?
anyway I feel like he’s cheated on me because he’s paid money to see these girls and had direct messages from them (he never replied but it’s not the point)
I love him so much and I really want to be with him but is this enough to leave? He said he’s sorry and he will leave his phone with me every time he goes to the bathroom because that’s where he was doing it but I don’t want a relationship like that.
what would you do?

He's not going to change my love. He's allowed to do that if he wishes, you are allowed to have it as a boundary/something you aren't comfortable with. Potentially therapy may help but I'd absolutely insist on it if you're planning on sticking together with baby on the way.

Best of luck with it all, and you're beautiful! Don't let him make you feel anything other than it, either. Pregnancy is a very special time (whether you hate it like I did, or love it!).

Oh god. Sorry this has happened.
I'd be fuming and so upset. I couldn't forgive my DH if he did this, I class it as cheating and would always be anxious that it could progress and go on to physical cheating etc. Shows no respect to you whatsoever.

So hard when you're expecting a baby together. Would he be receptive if you had it out with him and explained it's a deal-breaker. If you weren't pregnant I'd leave but for the sake of baby I'd find it incredibly hard but maybe give one more chance.

Hope it all works out whatever happens x

It will only get worse once you have a baby to care for as you will be giving your attention to the infant. You won't feel like making love/sex for however long after giving birth but his body won't have gone through any physical or hormonal changes and he will be hankering after sexual gratification.

I'm afraid the man is just a big loser with a sleazy sex drive.

Cookiemonster28 this is exactly how I feel, if it wasn’t for the baby I’d be gone because I’d be happy to lose a relationship over it but I don’t know if it’s worth losing a family over? We’ve discussed it and he’s said he won’t go on it again, I can have access to his stuff if I want to check and he didn’t think about how it seriously it would affect me and that there was never anything in it for him it was just a release almost. I’m worried that things are going to become so much harder when the baby is here but I’m willing to give it a go to see what happens. He genuinely is perfect in every other way this is the only thing wrong with him!

So last night my 3 year old son was looking at husbands pictures and went to internet by mistake and i seen an icon come up for onlyfans. I clicked and seen my husband has being giving hundreds to these women for different things.Confronted husband when kids went to bed and he blamed me for being on his phone. No apology, nothing just absolutely livid i clicked into the onlyfans. Says its his own business. Bear in mind we have 3 kids and youngest is 3 months. Really think this is a deal breaker and so disrespectful but not sure where to start with divorce etc. He hasnt spoken to me since last night so he really is just an ass. Just looking for opinions from anyone who had similar experience.

I’m sorry but he sounds far from perfect - why hasn’t he contributed fully to buying things your baby will need?
Does he realise how much his life will change when the baby arrives?

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, super tricky situation, I’m not sure what I would do if I’m honest 😞 do you think he will make a good Dad? Could be worth trying therapy together.