Pregnant after MMC - really anxious!

[EmptyDumpty]

Hello folks,

I had a missed miscarriage a few months back. Should have been 10 weeks but found out at a private scan that the baby had died at 6 weeks. I opted for medical management and it was pretty grim - had to take misoprostol twice because of retained products, scary amount of bleeding, passing huge clots. I also have a 2yo, so was managing all that while trying to be a normal parent for my little one.

I found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant again, which is lovely. But I'm struggling with managing feelings of anxiety.

We've booked an early private scan for 7.5 weeks and I have lots of things to keep me busy over the Christmas period, but I'm definitely struggling with anxiety. I find I'm getting stressed about any tiny little twinge in my abdomen, as well as just with sitting with the uncertainty of not knowing if the same thing will happen again.

Does anyone with a similar experience have any tips for getting through this?

I’m so sorry for your loss OP but gentle congratulations on your pregnancy! I had a MMC at 10 weeks in the summer and had pretty awful experience after surgical management. I’m now 14 weeks pregnant and had so much anxiety in the early stages (still do tbh), there isn’t a whole lot you can do to feel better I found. Time goes a bit faster when you have a toddler, early scans were a real help for me (I’ve basically had one every couple weeks and cried hysterically every time). Try and stay busy over Xmas and hopefully time will pass quicker, but be kind to yourself. Pregnancy after loss is so hard. Wishing you all the best.

Oh, and try and stay away from the miscarriage boards. I got obsessed in my first pregnancy after loss a couple years ago and it was terrible for my mental health.

Hey OP - my top advice would be to keep busy. I've unfortunately had 3 MMCs in a row, and it's always hard being pregnant again and the doubt you have because of the previous loss. Keeping busy doing things I enjoy helps me a lot. I'm now pregnant for a 4th time and will be having an early scan around 7 weeks, all being well, and another at 9/10 weeks as I don't want to get to 12 weeks to find out something has gone wrong, I'd rather know sooner x

Thank you so much @Hrf1503 and gentle congratulations on your pregnancy too!

We definitely have a full schedule over Christmas and lots of things planned with my little one, so I'm hoping that keeps me more in the moment rather than worrying about things I can't control!

My work is generally very busy too, which helps but I have a few days with lots of unscheduled time each week when my brain likes to use to go overboard with stressing. Luckily I have some looming deadlines which should help me focus a bit in the lead up to Christmas!

I'm so sorry @Moosey898 , three MMC in a row sounds truly awful. I really hope this is the one that works out for you!

I agree that keeping busy is so important. Doing normal stuff with my toddler definitely got me through the grief after the miscarriage; I don't want worrying to take me away from that now. If this pregnancy doesn't work out either I want to be able to look back at lots of happy moments with my family, not just stress and anxiety.

And yes, I'll also be booking several scans if I get that far I think! I definitely would rather know sooner than later if things have gone wrong.

@EmptyDumpty that sounds like a great idea - lean in to life with your toddler, try to enjoy the festive season and all the joy that brings with them 😊 I'm going to be doing that with my nephews for sure xx

Sadly this one wasn't to be. Lots of bleeding over the weekend amd miscarriage confirmed yesterday. I'm really sad, but trying to look after myself and enjoy the small things.

@EmptyDumpty I'm so sorry 😞

I'm so sorry!
I'd recommend speaking to your doctor for a referral to the Tommy's Miscarriage clinic. Coventry will see you after 2 losses.
Sending hugs - and take it easy on yourself. I've been there and now how hard it can be x x

Thanks @Moosey898 and @SJM1988. I've made an appointment to see the GP in January. I'm in Scotland, so I think I need 3 losses to be seen by Tommy's or the NHS miscarriage clinic, but apparently Tommy's can advise on tests in primary care and my GP surgery is generally helpful and supportive, so I'm hoping there is at least some basic blood tests we can do or something.

There's always the option of private investigations too I suppose.

Aww its a shame you are so far away from Coventry - I'm lucky and live really close by so got seen by them.

Defo speak to your doctor. Mine ran lots of blood tests pre my tommy's referral to rule out a couple of things. There is some blood condition they can check for, thyroid function they can check etc.
There are lots of private companies where you can get the tests done too if you research around. I was going to go down this route because my referral was a 42 week wait.

Sending some hugs x

@EmptyDumpty if your GP is helpful that's good - there was new guidance by NICE either this year or last where they say you should be able to go to your GP for some basic bloods after 2 losses so it's worth asking. X

I’m so so sorry you’re going through this again OP. I found a podcast called The Worst Girl Gang Ever really helped me not feel so alone after mine. And they also have lots of helpful information on investigations you push for once you’re ready. Sending love, be gentle with yourself 💐

@EmptyDumpty I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s a really hard time but there are plenty of us on here who have been through it too, you’re not alone and I found the miscarriage boards a great support after my losses (both MMC). Just wanted to say I’m in Scotland too, I spoke to Tommy’s and they gave me a list of suggested tests for the GP. Mine was very sympathetic and ran all the tests I requested, as well as offering additional support, so hopefully you’ll find the same. It helped me to know I was doing what I could. Take care.