Slow heartbeat. Come back in 10 days - it's so cruel.

[landobroken]

I'm just heartbroken.

It's shaping up to be my second miscarriage in six months. I went to an early scan and it showed the fetal size 2weeks less than my LMP and a slow heartbeat. I have to come back in 10 days.

I know the outcome - I just know it. How can this be the only answer? 10 days of not knowing. I feel sick to my stomach and I can't be normal. I'm so heartbroken 💔

Not LMP I'm not thinking straight. I thought I was 7 weeks. It showed 5.

I’m so sorry life can seem so cruel

Sorry to hear this @landobroken - it's not fair 🥺
Please be positive as it may be ok. If not, don't despair, many of us have had multiple miscarriages and we've gone on to have babies, mine are now 16&12 years
Old - but remember the pain having many MMC. Ask if you can be referred to a miscarriage consultant, also try researching agnus castus as I'm sure DD16 was a result of this! Good luck and keep going x

Thank you.

One MC I thought ok - this happens a lot and although I'm gutted, it doesn't make me abnormal and hopefully we will be ok next time, but here we are again 💔 it's the waiting, it seems even more cruel than the MMC I had before. Why can't my body catch up with reality 💔

I'm so sorry OP, sending lots of hugs.
It's awful but you know they have no other way to tell what is going on than to wait.
Good luck

So utterly heartbreaking and devastating. I've had 2 MCs myself OP, 1 being a MMC. Words cannot describe the pain. As PP said it can be common to have more than 1. I'm expecting my second baby next month and I'd never thought I'd be able to say that...I say this hoping it gives you some hope. I don't know if it's too soon or if you've done any research but I used baby aspirin in subsequent pregnancies so might be worth looking at that. I pray you have a positive outcome, but sending you love. Take it easy x

Thank you 🙏🏻 congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything goes well for you. It's relieving to hear that, I don't know many people personally that have had multiple MCs so I'm reassured by that 🙏🏻

I'm on baby aspirin and progesterone already (prescribed by a private consultant) so I thought it might have helped me but now I'm not so sure....

Anyway, you inspire me to keep the faith. It's the only way I suppose.

It's hard not to lose hope in such dark times. I hope you and your partner can support eachother through it and being kind to yourselves. It's not your fault x

Sorry you're dealing with this again, life is cruel sometimes.
My first pregnancy was a MMC, followed by another MC. But everything went well with my third and he's sat here driving my mad currently. Having 2 can still be normal and doesn't mean the next won't be fine. Good luck x

I really hope so ❤️ thank you. At this point I don't think I could do this again, but hopefully I can build myself back up again. My body has just shut down since my first MMC - I have been ill constantly with one thing or another. I need to build myself up again.

I got pregnant again the month after my MMC, then after the second one I took a years break for my own mental health tbh. Give yourself a break to heal if you need to x

I have had 4 miscarriages, and 4 successful pregnancies. 3 of the miscarriages were one after the other. It is brutal, but you are much stronger than you know. Hope you are ok

@landobroken im so sorry to hear this, ive also been through a similar wait although there was no heartbeat, they just had to be certain of no growth, it was so hard. My first pregnancy was problem free and happened easily. Then followed two “big” miscarriages requiring surgeries, big bleeds, one was a partial molar pregnancy… I can totally understand why you feel that it’s not “normal”. I was under the extra monitoring for the next pregnancy which turned out to be fine although it was stressful waiting for each scan. I remember them saying to me after all
the miscarriages that I still had the same chances as anyone else to have a healthy pregnancy and I remember thinking, surely not!? But it did happen eventually. It’s so hard. Be very kind to yourself in these next 10 days, if you are suffering with nausea then push for some medication to make it easier to bear. I’d also push for it to be 7 days rather than 10, they should be able to tell what’s what after 7 days. Keep on at them and state that the wait is affecting you badly. You’ll get through this xxx

So sorry to hear what you’re going through. If it’s any consolation, my friend had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. I now visit her every week and get to cuddle her 5 week old baby. Don’t give up 🤗

So sorry lando, sending love

Thanks all.

Unfortunately a private obstetric scan yesterday confirmed that there has been no growth since and no evidence of a heartbeat. So my next appointment will be to discuss miscarriage management.

Broken and don't know how to get through the next few weeks. But I have to and I will.

That’s so heartbreaking OP. MMC is a particular kind of cruel, it’s so devastating and I’m so sorry for you. If you want any advice / experience of miscarriage management when the time comes let me know.

I found a Podcast / Facebook group called The Worst Girl Gang Ever really helped me through both of my miscarriages, just knowing I wasn’t alone and listening to the experience of others helped. Be kind to yourself x

My heart goes out to you OP. I remember how you're feeling so well. The waiting is just excruciating. I remember that thought- why can't my body catch up wirb reality? And feeling so lonely even though it's so common. Like others on the thread I have my babies now and miscarriage is a horrible memory in the rear- view mirror- it will be for you too. Sending hugs

So so utterly sorry

Also recommended this podcast x

I'm so sorry OP. I've had an MMC and it was heartbreaking. I never thought I'd recover. But I have three beautiful, healthy children. I still remember the baby I lost. There is healing with time 💕

I'm so sorry OP.

I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same myself. First miscarriage in August and this pregnancy is getting further behind and no heartbeat. I have another week wait to have miscarriage confirmed but the odds aren't good.

Remember what ever feelings you have are valid. Take time and space and do what feels right for you. I have had a couple of weeks off work with pregnancy sickness and yesterday after the scan I was fed up of being sofa bound and found a bit of energy to check in at work. It felt right to be a bit more occupied today I've not felt up to it and I'm not due back at works until Monday so I'm resting and trying to stay occupied with puzzles and what not.

@landobroken I'm so sorry 😞 it's such a horrible situation to be in.

As a side note, progesterone and aspirin won't help most women but it's seen as not harmful so "might as well" but unfortunately it's not a cure all. A large proportion of miscarriages, especially missed miscarriages, are due to random chromosomal abnormalities and there's nothing you can do to avoid miscarriage when this is the case.

Take time to process, however that looks for you. There's no right way to handle loss. Just remember whatever you are feeling is valid. Sending you the biggest hugs xx

Thank you everyone - it's so kind of you to take the time to write these messages and they really help.

I will look at the podcast some of you recommended.

I am very lucky that I have one child almost 2, I'm not sure if I said that already. I'm 39 and I'm just so conflicted, i need a break from this but I'm worried about time and I want to try to give my child a sibling and I'm feeling that time is seriously running out. but I suppose the best thing I can do is give them a healthy and happy mother ❤️