Ectopic Pregnancy - WWYD?

[arwilsx]

Hi, we found out a few weeks ago we were expecting our 3rd child. On Tuesday the pregnancy was confirmed as ectopic and yesterday I was given methotrexate. I’m aware we cannot try again for 3 months, and possibly 6 months if I require a second dose of methotrexate within the coming weeks.

I am curious to what other mums would do in this situation… we have two amazing, happy and healthy kids. My husband and I both liked the idea of a 3rd but it wasn’t the same ‘burning desire’ we had with having a 2nd. We were definitely more ‘not preventing and seeing what happened’ rather than actively trying for a 3rd.

With the ectopic it’s kind of thrown a spanner in the works. I’m now not sure whether I should take this as a sign, and we count our blessings for our 2 lovely smalls and I go back on contraception. Or if I should just wait the 3-6 months and return back to our ‘not preventing and see what happens’.

My husband would be lead by my decision, he knows how serious this ectopic could have been if not found early and if I said I didn’t want to have any more children he would be completely fine to stay as a family of 4. But equally if I said I did want to he would be happy to carry on as before so the ball really is in my court.

I guess in my head it’s all still raw, but I am trying to work out what I want to do after all this and hearing other people’s thoughts and views is always really helpful.

Personally, I'd take your time to make a decision. There is no rush to decide right now, let your body and mind heal and see how you feel a few months from now. So sorry for your loss xx

Thank you. I do feel like I need time but I almost feel like the ‘not knowing’ what to do is more torturous than if I just decided, ‘right no more’ or ‘it’s okay, 6 months down the line we can try again’. But you are right and I think time is definitely needed xx

I’m sorry for your loss. I had an ectopic pregnancy, crash life-saving surgery and was left with only one ovary twenty years ago. I had already had two beautiful children. I spent the rest of my childbearing years taking a pregnancy test every month as I needed to know immediately if I was pregnant or not for my own peace of my mind. I didn’t take any contraception that would have upped the possibility of another unknown ectopic. Over the years I was blessed with my younger children, who arrived with no issue whatsoever. I have never had another ectopic.

You don’t have to decide anything right now, let yourself process and recover.