Little support/info from midwife?

[User88181992]

Hi all,
First pregnancy here, 31 weeks.

Apart from my booking appointment, I’ve found my midwife appointments to be quite rushed and basic (having to try to squeeze in a question, not asked if I am ok, not told about antenatal classes). Basically, google, friends and mumsnet have been my guidance!
I wondered if midwives should be covering all the bullet points in this link? Or are they just prompts?
https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/your-pregnancy-care/your-antenatal-appointments/

I have my next appointment next week and so far I still feel completely in the dark about the birth itself, my options and what to ask.
just wondering if this is the norm… and wondering whether I ought to try to book in a conversation as I don’t see how I get squeeze all my confusion into a rushed 30 min appt :(

Not sure what I hope to gain from this post really other than to see if others are in the same boat and whether the appointments are a bit longer and more helpful the nearer you get to the birth?
thanks!

Yeah they should be giving you all the info you need but not all at once, just when it's time to make various choices.

It's best to buy something like the Positive Birth book and book yourself onto an NCT course if you want indepth info. A lot of what the midwives will give you will be in the form of short pamphlets. They might only want to talk about birth options when they know if you will have any complications that appear during your pregnancy.

The booking in appointment is very short and more of an admin exercise as far as I remember.

Sorry just realised you are 31 weeks. If I were you I would be thinking about my birth plan already and chatting through any gaps in your knowledge with your midwife.

Thanks, yeah we were hoping to do NHS classes and by the time she told me they are no longer running them, it was too late to book NCT unfortunately. I think I’ll have to be more assertive about asking for time to discuss these things

I guess I just assumed there was a tick-list of things to discuss and when so I waited to stuff to come up

Sorry but I found midwives appts to be quite useless.

You will need to research everything yourself.

I received no support at all, to the point that I flagged concerns three times that something was wrong with my pregnancy and it wasn't taken seriously. Triage even out the phone down on me. I ended up going into premature labour at 19 weeks. My beautiful little boy obviously didn't survive. Community midwife was so clueless, she even contacted me a week after I'd given birth to tell me my MAT1B was ready.

Absolutely push as hard as you need to for whatever you need. Don't take no for an answer. Don't expect them to do anything that isn't the most basic thing they can do. If you have any concerns at all, or need information, push for it and don't give up until you've got it.

I am so so sorry that happened and for your loss x

@User88181992 I'm 31wks on Monday and I feel very similarly 🙁

I haven't seen the same midwife twice and have no way of contacting a Midwife in between appointments, I'm just told I have to ring triage!

It's been a very impersonal experience which is a big shame especially when it's your first experience.

Not discussed a birth plan yet or anything?!

Just wanted to share that I'm in the same boat and it's incredibly annoying.

My Expert Midwife do an on demand recorded antenatal classe type thing, with videos and presentations to watch. I think it's about £50 for access to all the material. If you've missed the cut off for NCT or Bump & Baby for your due date, you could always watch some of those online? It might help you feel more confident at going to your next appointment with specific questions or requests for information.

Yep, absolutely useless. I actually don’t bother going to my midwife appointments anymore (I’m having growth scans and get my bp etc checked there). I’m 35 weeks tomorrow and seen my midwife twice - booking in appointment and 25 week appointment. They “forgot” about me until 33 weeks so now I don’t bother. All she did was read my notes during my appointment (I’ve had a very complicated pregnancy) and check bp and do urine test. Whenever I asked her questions she would literally ignore me and turn to her computer screen. Everything I’ve learned about pregnancy and birth has been through my own research. I’ve heard from a lot of people they midwives don’t give you information anymore and it’s down to you to research is yourself

I think this depends on where you are and on your midwife service. I did discuss birth preferences with mine and I felt I was given the opportunity to ask questions/directed to further resources when necessary. I did also sign up for baby classes (I did Happy Parents Happy Baby) and found them very informative - they were run by a midwife - so maybe check if you can do something else if NCT is booked out near you, or as people said try something online (Positive Birth Company also good).

Have a Google of antenatal classes near you and read a few books - I found these much more helpful than the midwife appointments.