Should I trust my midwife?

[AprilBaby2025]

I'm 22 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe health anxiety, specifically a phobia of blood pressure devices. It’s not just about being in a medical setting—I’m terrified of the device itself, no matter where I take my blood pressure. Just seeing or thinking about it sends my stress skyrocketing, which, of course, affects the readings and feeds into my fear.

At my doctor’s office, the automatic cuff gives very high first readings, but they come down slightly with repeated measurements. At home, I used to obsessively check my BP (sometimes 50+ times a day), and the numbers were usually high—I can only get decent readings when 1000000% distracted (which is verrrry rare because phobia). My midwife uses a manual cuff (not the mercury one) and consistently gets normal readings for pregnancy (average about 125/84), even when I’m visibly stressed. She has 15 years of experience, but I can’t shake the fear that her readings might be wrong and the automatic ones are more accurate.

It’s a vicious cycle—just thinking about blood pressure stresses me out, leading to higher readings, which then make me panic more. Even when I think I am relaxed, it seems to be subconscious. Unless I am truly 10000% distracted (trying not to think about it doesn't count). I’m terrified of early onset pre-eclampsia and can’t stop spiraling into “what ifs.” Which makes my blood pressure worse. My midwife and therapist told me to stop taking my BP at home as it was causing severe anxiety attacks (so bad that my husband cried multiple times worried for me) so I haven't taken it in 2 months. Only the midwife does at appointments.

I heard both that manual readings are better. But also that they can be very inaccurate as they depend heavily on the practitioner measuring it. She's been a midwife for 15 years but I am worried she's not doing it correctly. She measured it on 2 different devices and gave similar readings. I am not sure whether I should trust the midwife? Automatic is always high, manual is decent.

You sound like you need to see your GP for anxiety. Just show them this post as an example if you can’t explain

Automatic devices - specifically battery operated devices, run high.

Nothing - and I mean nothing is as accurate as a trained human ear. I’ve been a midwife 15 years and I would trust myself over any machine, any day.

In pregnancy you don’t need automatic readings unless you have PET and need a blood pressure profile.

Bin that bloody machine.

You know this is your anxiety OP don't you. The 15 years of experience from the midwife means she is the expert. The facts are, she has said your BP is fine. She is also monitoring you in other ways so she will pick up if there is a problem. Please listen to the facts and not the noise of your worries.
Just to say that I also have bad anxiety when it comes to BP monitors. I get super stressed which causes my readings to be ridiculous. It's a trauma response for me from cancer treatment. I always mention it whenever I have to get mine done but yeah it's very stressful! I had therapy last year which has helped me understand what is happening to me but I still get high readings at times. Last year I did a week long twice a day test at home to double check all was well after a health check showed it was high. I had to watch cat videos and get my DH to press the button when I wasn't expecting it! It was fine.
Please listen to your midwife and some therapy may also help you too.

This.

I have high blood pressure. My midwife used to use the automatic device, get a high reading and then do it again with a manual device. The manual reading was ALWAYS lower. She now knows me well enough to just go straight to a manual device and only use that. She is also brilliant at making me relax without me even realizing.

I asked her about it because I was curious. Apparently, it is well known that automatic BP monitors err on the high side. Sometimes quite significantly. Taking BP manually is one of the first thing nurses learn and they get a lot of practice. Your midwife knows what she is doing. That is why she switched to a manual device. If she didn’t, she would have continued to use the automatic device and given you a prescription for BP medication.

I had preeclampsia in an earlier pregnancy. My blood pressure had slowly risen through pregnancy until, at one midwife check, she decided to refer me to the doctor. Who then sent me to the hospital for monitoring. And at the hospital, they decided it was time for a c-section. It was nothing like a tv show - it was relaxed and stress free, I had a very easy recovery, and my DC is now a happy and healthy toddler.

The key takeaways from my story - my midwife knew what she was doing with BP and preeclampsia is well managed in this day and age.

Please see a doctor about your anxiety. It isn’t normal, it is debilitating, and you shouldn’t have to live like that.

(PS - I’m wondering if Agatha is my lovely midwife!)

She knows what she's doing. Chuck your machine in the bin and ask your midwife for a referral for support with your anxiety.

Only if we met at antenatal classes in a boujis pub?! 😂that’s my jam these days. That said, I am throwing myself to the wolves working in an antenatal clinic tomorrow. I love your user name, I’d gladly be your midwife!

OP please get some help. Show this thread to your midwife. We can help you.

I'm sure you've posted about this before and you do know that this is your severe anxiety and OCD talking.

Are you receiving help for this?

I have been a GP 30 yrs.. please see yours and get help for your anxiety otherwise the rest of your pregnancy and early parenthood will have the joy sucked out of it.
Also throw away your home BP monitor… when you are so anxious you will end up like a hamster on a wheel.
I trust my ear better than any automatic machine.. they run high
PS .. I also have “white coat “ hypertension .. even though we have ceased white coats many yrs 😂😂

Im honestly feeling so much for you. That is severe anxiety. I hope you have some help before labour and birth. HUGS

I heard both that manual readings are better.

I assume by asking and checking. Both are anxiety symptoms.

Asking on here is as well.

Checking at home is.

None of these, including people on here telling you manual readings are better is going to stop the thoughts. And the thoughts are the issue. The anxiety is the issue. Not your BP.

So instead of asking us, asking the internet, asking your GP, checking yourself, you need to focus on things that help recovery and wellness. Ask for help with the health anxiety, not the BP.

And FWIW I had high BP in pregnancy and both me and teenage DD are fine.