C section or natural birth? Terrified

[Mumtobe888]

Hello,
Im due my second baby in January and as the date gets closer the more scared I am. I had an awful birth experience with my first, I was induced and after three days of only getting 3cm I had an emergency c section.
I really don’t know what to do this time, I’m scared of giving birth naturally and of a c section. Everyone says the second birth is quicker but I don’t see how mine will be when I only got to 3cm.
I also might add, my mum passed away having me via a c section so this also terrifies me.
has anyone got any advice? I also don’t know how I’d manage with my son after a c section.
thanks

Sorry to hear about your mum and your awful first birth.

I had an elective c-section with my second after a traumatic first birth. It went really well. I saw the consultant who talked me through the options. Have you tried to discuss it with them, I am sure they would be very sympathetic.

Would trying for a vaginal birth on the understanding you could have an elective caesarean if things do not progress work? They offered me that, though I went for the elective a couple of days before due date.

I had my first by emcs and I booked a elcs for my second and then chickened out and had a VBAC! i spent the first 36 weeks of labour stressing about a natural birth and the last two about not wanting a cs.
What I should have done is book the CS and then said if I start before if I’ll go for a VBAC. Which is basically what happened after all the stressing

Good luck it’s not easy

To be honest my recovery was very quick - more so than my first (vaginal) birth.

I personally would always want a vaginal birth as the recovery is quicker. Inductions are harder than going into natural labour but I would still opt for this. I have had 5 vaginal birth, the first two were spontaneous labours which went smoothly even though I was in labour over two days for both. The last 3 were inductions and once the labour stage started, it was over quicker but it was more painful than the first two. I have also had a hysterectomy and the recovery from that was much harder and I suspect it's similar to a c- section. It's always a personal choice and with a c- section you sort of know what to expect and can give you more control. I wish you the best with which ever you choose and remember you will have a lovely bundle of joy at the end of this.

Just to add. Please call your midwife and discuss your fears. You do not need to go through all the worry alone.

If you're expecting to go in to labour spontaneously I would probably opt for a natural delivery because spontaneous labour is unusually more straightforward than induction and second labours are usually easier too.
However if you felt like a planned c section is your preferred option then they are usually easier and way less stressful than an emergency CS and the risk of anything going wrong is extremely low these days.
Have a chat with your midwife to properly talk through your options

OP I had a similar experience with my first and was terrified of giving birth either by VBAC or c-section. If you haven't already speak openly about your fears and concerns with your midwife and ask to be referred to your perinatal mental health team. I've been under the care of my hospital's maternity and neonatal psychological intervention team who helped me decide a way forward and write a trauma informed birth plan. It has really helped me prepare and feel so much more prepared and in control of what's ahead.

My labour sounds identical to yours, and if I were to have another I’d refuse induction, see if I could book a c-section for 40 weeks, and if it happened naturally before that, great.

I also refused induction - it's the first line of my birth plan - do not offer me an induction under any circumstances!

A nice calm c-section. I had that with my 2nd after a horrendous time with my first. I was nervous but it was fantastic. I felt safe, and everything was under control . My baby was screaming and healthy. I also look great in the post birth photos haha

similar thing happened me emergency section after failed induction at 41weeks only got to 4cm … expecting again now and I will be booking a section this time , I’m taking back my power so to speak and hope it will be healing as I had a traumatic experience last time
much love ❤️

It sounds like you would benefit from a birthday reflection session to discuss your last birth, and a good chat with your midwife or consultant about the pros and cons for each option so you can make the right decision for you.