12 week scan anxiety

[PatheticDistraction]

I have my 12 week scan tomorrow & feel disproportionately anxious.

This is my second baby & I don't feel as pregnant as the first time.

My little boy is now 6 & is severely autistic & non verbal after a huge regression aged 2, and this is making me anxious about the entire pregnancy, the possibility of something being wrong & I know I won't be able to shake this feeling even if and when the baby arrives.

I can't help feeling I've made a mistake, but also that I'll be heartbroken if something is wrong tomorrow. We've been trying for 2 years and I can't go through this again, I'm 39.

I am so mixed up & feel hopeless & don't even want to tell people this time round. I feel almost ashamed, and like people will think I'm an idiot for doing this again when the risks are high.

Sorry - I appreciate this post is full of contradictions.

I was so nervous and only really started to feel pregnant at about 22 weeks so I understand your anxiety totally..the odds are it's absolutely fine. Luck is on your side. I hope it goes well! X

My midwife team offers a midwife counsellor who helps with a range of worries and concerns. Would it be worth asking if your midwife service offers something like that too? Someone specialist to talk to?

Hi OP, I would definitely try and have a chat with your midwife about how you are feeling, it sounds very overwhelming and there's obviously thoughts and feelings from last time coming to the forefront now. Scanxiety is very normal but it shouldn't be consuming your daily thoughts.....don't be afraid to seek some help if you find that it is.

I think this bit is the hardest time as you don't really look pregnant. Sometimes symptoms have vanished or changed so you panic that means something is wrong as you don't feel pregnant. No movements to reassure you etc. It's OK to feel this way.

As an aside from that though, I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine who has a severely autistic and non verbal child. They really weren't sure about having another child but she did fall pregnant when DC1 was around 5 or 6 years old. Obviously there were concerns the second child would also be autistic and they made peace with that but it turned out he wasn't. He was the best thing that could have happened to their family, especially with DC1 as he really brought him out of his shell. DC2 is 8 now and so good with his big brother and vice versa. It's wonderful to see.

Hope it goes ok today