Shocked natural pregnancy 6 month PP with my donor egg baby

[jesusmaryandjoseph1]

So yes,

after years of infertility 7 rounds of ivf and a diagnosis or premature ovarian insufficiency we embarked on donor egg conception and have the most perfect 6 month old little girl.
cut to yesterday where I still hadn’t had a “proper” period post partum and before starting previously prescribed HRT I need to do a pregnancy test - just to rule it out…. Well I’m bloody pregnant, approx 6 weeks.

I haven’t a clue how to feel. It’s all we ever wanted. A natural pregnancy!! But now I already have my beautiful little girl and the only reason I would have had another baby (I’m 41) was to give her a sibling who would share her genetic history ( we have embryos left)

scared, anyone have any advice?!

Congratulations OP, what a head spinner. I imagine this is throwing up a lot of feelings for you, you don't have to process them all at once. For now just do the next thing, so register for a booking in appt. Working out how you're going to tell them/ manage they're different genetic stories is not something you need to solve right this second. But you will manage it and it will be fine.

Thank you for responding and being lovely. My husband has said the same. I still can’t believe it which sounds pathetically naive. Good point on doing the practical things like registering now. Thanks

Wow this is amazing, massive congratulations. My daughter was IVF 10 years ago. At 41 (I'm now 43) I fell pregnant naturally twice!! massive shock, unfortunately both ended, but I do wonder if it was my bodies last shot at it. My periods are a lot lighter now and I think I'm possibly peri. I've gone into a panic and considering a frozen embryo transfer in January as my own last roll of the dice.

Wishing you luck x

Congratulations!!

I've heard it called "rusty gate syndrome." Once you've forced a rusty gate open once (in this metaphor, pregnancy), it's much easier for it to open again (for you to get pregnant again).

I'm sure you're well versed in epigenetics, but might be worth remembering that your babes will share more than you might first think <3

Congratulations ! was 41 when I had my second (less than 2 years between them) hard work to start with, but great once they could play together and we weren’t juggling different nap times and multiple nappy changes.

But I really came on here to say that I was similar to your DC1 in this scenario. I was adopted after my parents had tried for over a decade, and then my mother almost immediately got pregnant. She didn’t realise and just thought that motherhood was tiring! So they had my sibling, their genetic child, when I was 15 months. On balance I would say the pros of having a sibling definitely outweigh the con of sometimes feeling like they were all good at something and I wasn’t. I always knew so there was no surprise, I felt very wanted. How much to say when in your different situation I don’t know but my only advice would be to accept any help you can get in the first year or two, hope the pregnancy goes well!

Congratulations.

What a surprise. Your children will share genetics, as you planned, but in a slightly different way from how you anticipated.

For now though, the practicalities, as others have said. Inform your GP etc and take things from there.

OP, this is amazing!! The human body is unbelievable at times.
Be happy, enjoy this time, trust the process. This is meant to be a part of your story.
Congratulations

This is an amazing story, congrats!! I’m sure you’re just in shock so it doesn’t feel real. Try to take it day by day. Wishing you a smooth pregnancy. 🙏🏻

Thanks everyone, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate each and every one of your responses. Just did a second test to confirm and definitely no doubt…. Wish us luck x

Yes this happened to my friend!! Two ivf babies . They were told they were infertile. Got pregnancy naturally!

@jesusmaryandjoseph1 I've just found your post as I've been searching trying to find other people in the same situation as me, there doesn't seem to be many! I've recently found out that I'm naturally pregnant aged 43 after DE ivf for our first child who is now 16 months old. After several years trying naturally and several unsuccessful ivf rounds using my own eggs before we moved to donor egg treatment, I just thought I was infertile so we weren't preventing at all. Seeing that positive pregnancy was a massive shock, to say the least! Like you, I am having very mixed feelings about it. At the moment my biggest concern is my age, and the higher risk of abnormalities, so I am anxious about getting through the screening tests. If we get through these positively, the idea of having a second child and a sibling for our daughter is growing on me. But I am worried about the long term effect on our family. She isn't quite old enough yet for us to start talking to her about her origins, but it won't be long. I had planned to do more research to make sure we take the best approach to this, but had always assumed we would use the "mummy's eggs were broken" narrative. But how can I say that mummy's eggs were broken if our second child is conceived from my egg? I've always been a bit worried about how she might feel about her conception in the future, but this makes things a lot more complicated. Our daughter has made us so happy and so complete that before this unexpected pregnancy we weren't even sure that we would try for a second child, but I always assumed if we did it would be with the frozen embryo we have left from the donor cycle, which if successful would be a full genetic sibling for our daughter. It's strange but since finding out I'm pregnant I've almost felt a bit of grief for my daughter that it wasn't from that embryo. So many mixed feelings. We still have so far to go so I don't want to get ahead of ourselves (we are about 10 weeks pregnant now). How are you getting on with your pregnancy, and how are you feeling about it now?

@DEmummy81 this is exactly why I posted. I cannot find anyone else who has been in this situation.
firstly congratulations to you too! I could have written every single word and you’ve expressed my same fears. I cried when I found out. I thought my daughter would think I had betrayed her. The narrative of mummy’s broken eggs and explaining how she came to be was one we were fully prepared for but now that’s not quite the case, although it is…

have you told family yet? Also very tentative due to same risks. We have a scan and harmony test booked for a couple of weeks time. Will you do the same now you are 10 weeks?

I also wanted her to have a fully genetic sibling and was the only reason I would have considered having another baby.

it’s super confusing but taking it one day at a time.

the exhaustion is unreal and feeling that hungover feeling quite a lot of the day although thankfully not being sick. Again I feel guilty for not being quite so present with my daughter although my husband reminded me she won’t remember any of this….
big hugs x

@jesusmaryandjoseph1 I'm glad we've found each other, even though we are both in a bit of a sticky situation! I feel guilty even saying that though, after going through infertility I know how blessed we are to have one child, let alone the possibility of two. You've had some lovely advice on this thread, I'm particularly grateful to @Commentfromadoptee for sharing your experience about being adopted. If we make sure that our children always feel loved and wanted, I'm sure that we will find a way through.

Have you joined the donor conception network? I haven't yet but it's something I intend to do at some point. Perhaps there will be other people there who have been through this scenario as well.

Sorry to hear you are feeling rough. I felt really dizzy and nauseous from about weeks 6-8 (that was the only thing that made me wonder if I might be pregnant and prompted me to do a test!) but since then my symptoms have pretty much disappeared, so I hope that yours start easing soon too. Yes I'm getting a scan and nipt test done privately this week, so I hope I'll have some answers soon. We've only told very close family, I'm being really cautious about it. My husband thinks I'm being pessimistic, but I always like to prepare for all possible outcomes. We've already had a couple of scans and seen a healthy heartbeat, so I'm hoping that's a good sign ❤️

Sending hugs to you too x

I’m delighted you got in touch. Feel free to PM.
amazing news on your early scans, that’s really encouraging. Fingers crossed for the scan and NIPT 🤞❤️
so yes I was a member of DCN and also previously paths to parenthood which is run by the brilliant definingmum on Instagram. I will almost certainly rejoin them at some point.
I’ve told a few friends although I’ve kept saying IF it all goes ok… bla bla bla. I think I’m still in utter disbelief so by saying it out loud it makes it much more real, although vomitting on the dog walk this morning was definitely keeping it real 🤣
x

Congratulations! My dd had only 15 months between her first 2. Obviously hard work at first, but they were very close from a very early age - it was lovely to see.