TTC at age 43

[Thatpitchylilacpeer]

Feel deflated as only tried once (literally one go) any reassurance??

All you can do is try but is ivf an option?

What sort of reassurance are you after?

Just some reassurance it can happen naturally and if anyone has had a baby at this age

Look, you're an adult and you're on mumsnet, so you presumably know how to use google and find the stats.

Yes people get pregnant at 43, but it's much less likely than when you're younger and rates of abnormalities, miscarriage etc are much higher.

Depends how important it is to you - success will be much higher with donor sperm.

Someone coming on and saying 'I got pregnant in my mid 40s' doesn't mean anything

How long it takes to get pregnant depending on age
The following is a breakdown of conception by age. It shows how many women and birthing people will get pregnant within 1 year of having regular, unprotected sex.

• aged under 30: 85 out of 100 will conceive within a year
• at age 30: 75 out of 100 will conceive within a year
• at age 35: 66 out of 100 will conceive within a year
• at age 40: 44 out of 100 will conceive within a year.

https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/planning-a-pregnancy/fertility-and-causes-of-infertility/how-age-affects-fertility

• in women under 30, 1 in 10 pregnancies will end in miscarriage
• in women aged 35 to 39, up to 2 in 10 pregnancies will end in miscarriage
• in women over 45, more than 5 in 10 pregnancies will end in miscarriage

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/causes/

'Birthing people'

oh FFS I didn't notice that. Disappointed in Tommy's

@premierleague is right; other women and 'birthing people' telling you that they got pregnant in their 40s isn't going to help your individual circumstances. Their tone was mean but their point was helpful.

Good luck OP x

I’m a WOMAN who had a baby in my mid 40s, conceived naturally. The website then lists things that may affect your ability to conceive. I think not being a woman might be a bit of a hindrance! Good luck OP, it can happen but is far from guaranteed.

I was 42 when I had my second child. Initially I fell pregnant after a few months of trying but had a mc unfortunately, but then fell pregnant again a few months later and had my little boy.
Good luck xx

Is this your first child?
Have you had your hormone levels checked to see how fertile you're likely to be?

Women do get pregnant mid 40s but the reality is fertility is lower at that age and declining all the time so it's going to take longer than it would for a 30 year old.

Saying that though even younger women can take a few cycles to get pregnant so I wouldn't get too disheartened after one

Depends how important it is to you - success will be much higher with donor sperm.

Do you mean donor eggs @premierleague ? Just curious as I wouldn't have thought sperm quality would be the main issue here.

I'm confused why you are "deflated" having only tried once 🤔

I think it's a bit ridiculous actually - you've actually got to put some effort in especially over age 40

Of course it's possible but I think you need to get bloods taken make sure your ovulating etc and get your partners sperm checked no point trying for months with no idea if you can or can't conceive at your age and I mean that nicely. I started TTC at 34 took 2 years turned out my partner had low sperm morphology once we knew we were able to fix it and conceive.

Oops, yes, of course donor eggs!

I'm 43 and have been trying for about 4 years now with no real success. Had 3 miscarriages and a couple of IVF rounds.
It often depends if it's your first baby or not. For whatever reason it seems people who already have children appear to get pregnant easier than those who don't have any.
I've got 3 friends who had children in their early 40s. But all have children already. Me and one other person trying to conceive our first have both failed.
Like everyone else though this is all just anecdotal. Unfortunately you never know which way it will go until it either happens or doesn't.

Good luck OP, I'm 43. Lost two pregnancies at 41 both TFMR. It's taken me 2 years to get over them and unfortunately I now realise I shouldn't of waited them two years. My periods are lighter, Ive a whole host of weird things going on and I'm torn between the cause being stress or peri.

I have an IVF consultation in a few days time but I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. We not tried in two years so I've no idea what my body is capable of anymore!

@PaperSheet i conceived my first straight away in my early 30s. It took 3 years and ivf to conceive again in my late 30s. I don’t think already having children necessarily means anything.. fertility can change very quickly at this age whether you have children or not. It’s the luck of the draw I think unfortunately .

That's probably true I agree. Everyone has different experiences so it's all anecdotal I guess.
2 of my friends who conceived naturally in their 40s needed IVF for their first in their early/mid 30s. But both conceived naturally very easily 40+.
I do agree either way trying to conceive over 40 can often be difficult no matter what. I've pretty much given up now anyway as I'm clearly too old now.