Not excited second pregnancy

[Writerz34]

Always wanted two kids, we were TTC, now 7 weeks pregnant and I just feel a bit resentful that I'm nauseous and tired from pregnancy when I want to be with DS, don't feel any connection to baby or particularly excited. Help! I know it's early days of pregnancy still and maybe it'll change when it feels more real, but I was definitely more excited by this point last time

I was the same, don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s natural to feel that way. I haven’t found it as exciting as last time or felt as connected but that’s ok, it does get more exciting once you have the scans and particularly in the second trimester, when you’re feeling movement and are feeling less nauseous and tired.

in my opinion it’s never the same as your first baby, but I’ve found as time has gone on and I’ve felt more movement and bought new baby clothes etc, I’ve really started to get excited 😊

I’m at 17 weeks and I’m excited but not to the same extent. The tiredness this time is just not lifting for me. Last time it had gone by 16/17 weeks. I have started feeling brief movements though and it does help to feel connected and that I am pregnant.

Glad I found this. Very early days here but feeling similar and I'm honestly more surprised. I feel like I'm not in a rush to tell people whereas before I was bursting to share. No urge to keep testing for line progression or even book an early scan. Hoping once my tiredness lifts and we head towards the first scan it changes.

I’m currently 7m pregnant with DC2. I’ve only really started to get excited in the past few weeks washing and dusting off the baby stuff. This pregnancy has been hard, this baby is much bigger than my first and with a toddler to parent as well I’ve just been exhausted and grumpy!

Thanks all - I also found a few older threads with similar feeling so I'm feeling less isolated in this now which helps - didn't want it to impact how I feel about the baby when they arrive!

You’re definitely not alone! I’m 6 months pregnant with number 2 and think I’ve spent most of the time in denial despite them being a much wanted second. We had some complications early on which I don’t think helped matters, and now I’m trying to make ever last moment of DD being my only count, whilst battling extreme tiredness and all the fun that comes with entering the 3rd trimester. I currently don’t feel much of a connection, but am sure it’ll come in time. For DH and I I think part of the challenge is we both want a second child, but not necessarily looking forward to returning to the newborn stage even though we know we can’t have one without the other.

Totally same @NormaNormalPants wish we could skip newborn stage

I was the same. I was very resentful and upset I made thw wrong choice. I was unable to rest and take it easy with sickness. I had the worst 1st trimester nausea lasted until 16 weeks! Super hormonal anfld angry all the time.

By 24weeks I felt like a new woman and i was very nervous about coping. But DS2 arrived and he has been the easiest, happiest and chilliest baby ever. Naps like a dream sleeps amazingly at night. Newborn stage was a breeze I was so well rested and toddler adusjted so well. He just fit into our lives seamlessly. I worried for no reason.

Things are going so well with 2 we have spoken about TTC no.3 in spring when DS2 is 8 months. Also due to both our ages time is not on our side so we neednto have them close in age.

@Writerz34 so glad it’s not just me! DD is nearly 2 and just such a fun little person, I think once #2 reaches that age it’ll be amazing, but until then it’s very much grin and bear it.

Same. Much wanted second pregnancy but excitement was derailed rather at 6 weeks when we found out it's twins. I too feel resentful that I feel so unwell and that my much wanted second baby is now two babies and it isn't going to be the experience I'd hoped for.

I keep reminding myself that you can not like your pregnancy and still love your baby/babies.

I am 18 weeks with no 2 and still feel grim. This whole pregnancy has been a massive slog of sickness/ anxiety/ tiredness.

I desperately wanted to get pregnant and love babies! I just can't get excited yet as it feels a long way to go. I am taking it week by week.

I think when I don't feel sick anymore (which must be soon!) and when I'm very visibly pregnant and know the gender I will feel a bit different hopefully.

Anyway don't beat yourself up for not feeling excited. First trimester with a toddler is so hard!

Also, after my first scan with my son I sent photos of the scan pictures to everyone and by the next day there was one in a frame. I had my scan on Friday and the pictures are still in my bag. I haven't sent them to anyone because I just don't feel excited about it. Whenever I tell anyone I'm having twins they either go on about how exciting it all is (and I feel obliged to go along with it and pretend I'm excited too) or they tell me how dreadful it will be and how glad they are that it never happened to them...

@MixedCouple2 so lovely to hear that it turned out well for you. My son is 20 months and he's so attached to me so I'm feeling guilty about what's to come in case #2 needs a lot of me, like DS did (CMPA and reflux so not an easy start). I feel like he's still so young so won't understand and will need me too. Just thinking back to how time consuming breastfeeding was and having a slight panic about that. Fingers crossed #2 is as chilled as yours. I'm also hoping that as a second time mum I'm more relaxed and able so this time round is easier.