How would you deal with these questions?

[Rainbowsunshine81]

Hi,
Pregnant with DE and OS, waited a long time for our second baby. Made a little announcement on social media. My mums and mum in laws friends daughter is on social media who I'm friends with on there and yesterday her mum messaged my mum in law saying she knew and then said on the message did no one think to tell me? Also my mum in laws brother in law and sister in law asked her outright if this is a natural pregnancy. Both of those have really annoyed me.

What is DE and OS? Sorry for asking

@Willsnbills you beat me to it, I was about to ask the same

What a very confusing story.

You are actually asking how to answer a couple of really stupid questions from people who do not matter.
So why even give it a second thought, let alone contemplate answering!

Completely and utterly ignore, do not engage, they do not matter, they do not need an answer.

Crack on and enjoy and congratulations!

I think the first question is a joke, so just ignore. The second question might be just curiosity and I am a bit confused by the family relationship there, but could it be that they are trying for a while and they are wondering if there is any fertility issue on their side of the family. Or plainly, they didn't realise that this could be a bit too personal question.

@Willsnbills Donor egg and my husbands sperm.

@Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon you're completely right, the important people to me know the journey we have been on.
I'm not going to give them a second thought because they aren't important.
Thank you! ❤️

@BeLemonQuoter you're right, I might think yeah OK if my mum in laws friend was family, we only made the announcement on Wednesday after the 12 week scan. I don't think I'd ask their daughter if she were to make an pregnancy announcement if it was natural, but like you say they might want to know if there are fertility issues.

Well, neither of these questions was addressed to you, so you don’t have to deal with them at all, presumably? Your mother in law said, one hopes, ‘You’ve been told now — that’s why it was on social media!’ and ‘Mind your own business’, but however she responded, it’s done now. Maybe tell her firmly to stop telling you about the responses of people who are completely unconnected to you. I can’t imagine being bothered by the poor manners of my MIL’s ILs?

@SlightlyGoneOff You're right, I don't have to deal with them as don't particularly see them often. I don't think she responded to either of the questions. I know that both of those who said those things aren't important.

I don't think it's anyone's business. A relative took it upon themself to tell everyone ours was an IVF pregnancy. Not that it was a secret but I was still dealing with the emotional fallout of what had been an extremely long and difficult journey (many years, several IVF rounds and MCs) so I really wasn't ready to talk about it and would have preferred to do so in my own time.

I'd respond that we posted the announcement on social media for everyone to see and as for asking about conceptionn "what a rude and intrusive question" would be a fair answer! Congrats OP!

@Gardenslippers we went to Cyprus for our treatment, first time was last year, we all went, made it a holiday together, my mum in law was asked by her sister in law, did you all go?, then when she asked if it was natural, my mum in law said they went to Cyprus, but just the three of them this time, third time going to Cyprus we were successful.

I did think, what a rude and intrusive question to ask, I would never dream of asking their daughter if she were to get pregnant and say was it natural.
Thank you ❤️

I am also pregnant after ivf. This would really annoy me too. It’s none of their business if it’s a natural pregnancy or not.

I am also pregnant after ivf. The question itself would not bother me, but it depends who would ask it, with what tone and why. I felt that being IVF pregnant is lonely, not talked enough and bring in an extra loads of anxiety, especiallyat the beginning.

Question their question: "oh, that seems an odd question tbh, what made you ask that?" Or "why do you want to know"

Or just blank it completely with "thanks, we're really excited", flash a big smile and then change the subject.

Some people are nosey rude fuckers who need to just say congrats and mind their own beeswax.

Slightly different viewpoint - my children are donor conceived (own eggs, donor sperm) and all the ‘best practice’ research says to be really open about donor conception as it’s part of their identity. Obviously it’s early in the pregnancy and I don’t necessarily post about it on social media but certainly if people know me - they know it’s a donor conception since it’s a part of their identity.

Also IVF was absolutely hell and I’m quite proud that I went to those lengths to bring my little ones into existence- and I want to break down any stigma around it.

I'd ignore the silly woman, but if I did feel inclined, I'd reply, "I've just told you via a FB update, silly!" and leave it at that.