High risk pregnancy - would you leave work?

[Poppy2025]

Hello,

please can I get advice on something?

I’m 21 weeks pregnant and high risk due to a very short cervix. I’ve had a cervical stitch at 14 weeks and being monitored by the pre term clinic.
I work 4 days a week, I’m working from home on advice that I can’t walk for more than 15 minutes at a time, and need to rest when I feel I need to etc.
I’ve been quite stressed the last few weeks, I literally felt a burning/cramping feeling a few times when I’ve been really stressed, but feel like this can’t bring on labour? It just worries me more.
This week I was late because the bus was on diversion so couldn’t get home from dropping my son at school and going to the doctors , I finally managed to get a Uber and to my desk by 11.30. Problem is I can’t walk far so co I cant easily get home if stranded by the bus! . My new manager told HR and they emailed me asking where I had been, I explained. They then replied saying that I must take half day annual leave , I can’t go awol and not tell them where I am…. Just generally a nasty tone to the email. It upset me so much , I called HR and ended up crying. I’m livid because I’m always working outside of my hours and they are nit picking about a few hours , they know I can’t walk far and obviously need to go to the doctors more often than non pregnant people . We agreed I’d send my manager a text if I get stranded out again. But now I’m wondering if this is their attitude do I have to message them every time I take a break because I have cramps or am uncomfortable as my OB told me to do ? I can’t believe they are adding this stress to my load. I just dont know how the next 4 months will go because they clearly aren’t understanding my situation and even though they said previously they could be flexible , after this I don’t believe them!

I confided in a colleague and she said a lot of women in my position would get themselves signed off sick for a while. I actually was sick with a uti and cold when all this was happening so in my mind I was actually being a good team member working , even though I didn’t do a full day.
I think from now on if I feel unwell at all I should take the whole day off sick rather than doing what I can manage as this gets me in trouble. Or should I actually speak to my OB or GP about going off sick if they make me this stressed ?

thank you

I wouldn't get signed off just yet as you are in the period of time that decides your maternity pay for the first 6 weeks at 90% of your wage. It is based on the wages in roughly weeks 17-25 of your pregnancy.

Did they know you had a doctors appointment? What time were you due to start work on the day you started at 11.30am?

Make an appointment with your GP and get a sick note. Midwives can provide them with evidence to back up the sick note x

No midwives can't. It would be the GP.

Thank you all, helpful information ,

They didn’t know because I hadn’t planned the appointment , I just decided that morning to go in after dropping my son to do a urine test as I could feel my UTI was back and didn’t think it was a big deal as I get my work done and they know my situation . I’m meant to start at 9 but the bus being late and then on diversion meant we were late to school and then I was late getting back home but tow time is gone to the doctors. It never used to be the sort of workplace that would pick you up on being late once you explained as they know we work long hours /weekends. Also I’d been told to take care, take breaks etc really mixed messages on expectations which is why I’m now stressed about what they will complain about next , can I lie down if I have cramps ? Do I have to tell them every time? Sometimes when I have had to drop my son at school because husband/parents aren’t around I’ve had to sit down for a while as feel crampy , how long is too long before I’m in trouble? It seems petty. I’m literally following my doctors orders by taking time to get around and listening to my body. Maybe it’s just not a good fit for me to work there any more

Just don't let it affect your maternity pay too much as if you go off sick and only get SSP it can stop you qualifying for Statutory Maternity Pay and you'd need to claim Maternity Allowance instead.

If you are logged in then they don't need to know if you're lying down due to cramps.

When you knew you wouldn't make it to work on time did you call to let them know? If not then they're not being unreasonable to have said what they did. Can you ask to only WFH from now on? O

I don’t think being 2.5 hours late to work without a quick text is reasonable, pregnant or not.
With regards to the cramps etc. I’d say if you’re offline or uncontactable for more than 10 mins or so then you should be letting someone know. Probably different if checking emails / teams on your phone but I’m assuming not if you were awol whilst on the school run for 2.5 hours.

She already is working from home.

How long do you qualify for sick pay for?

Presumably finances are an issue or you'd be off sick? If so then as long as your qualifying window would be over before full sick pay ends you'll be fine.

I would do anything I could to avoid a pre term birth when you're so close to viability.

You disappeared from work for nearly 3 hours without any contact?

Of course you’re unreasonable!!

Why would anyone use annual leave if they could just take 3 hrs off?!

Sounds like you need a work place risk assessment and referral to occupational health. To be honest I can see why they’re saying it’s not ok to be starting late and not tell anyone but there’s ways of saying this and why your manager couldn’t just ask you politely to do that in future I can’t understand.
Also OP people often won’t understand what it’s like to have a high risk pregnancy; the sheer anxiety of it was awful to deal with then adding work in made it so much harder. Maybe ask for the above and take a week off sick to give yourself a break and space

Did you inform them you’d be late?
That is the main issue for them, I think.

Inwasnt on the school run only , I also went to the doctors . Also, I have been told not to walk for more than 15 minutes so the bus being on diversion meant I was stuck (I couldn’t just walk home) but eventually got an Uber . I have my new managers phone number now so can message him in future but I didn’t have it on me the other day , I hardly leave home at the moment because of the walking limit so just didn’t think about what I’d do if I was out and the bus wasn’t working . This kind of thing was not a problem before , my old manager would have been fine so I just didn’t even think it would matter. I don’t know why this has made me so stressed but I want to reduce stress as much possible , can’t afford to lose my maternity pay though so good to know being off sick can impact that

Being pregnant does not take away your ability to communicate

To be honest I can see both sides, I wfh and my job sounds similar in that it’s quite flexible and I work late if needed so when I was pregnant and suffering sickness I used to go and lay down for 30 mins if needed and not say anything; I just made sure I could be contacted. But if you’re offline for all that time I would probably have expected you to message a manager.

Do you have a laptop? Have you got teams etc on your phone? Can you just work from sofa or bed if you need to?

I work from laptop at home , but don’t have a work phone. I was out and took longer than expected to get home which is why I hadn’t warned anyone at work I would be late. But I have the new managers number on my personal phone now so I’ll be able to contact them if this happens again , so that issue is fixed . I could have messaged someone in my old team to pass the message on but I didn’t think of it as I really didn’t think they would care! Clearly was very lucky in my old team and it was way more flexible than the norm. If this is just about communication I think it will be fine , I’ll make sure they can always contact me, but the email seemed more annoyed that I had missed 2. 5 hours of work which I don’t get because I was at the doctors and Im relying on bus and taxi to get anywhere, and it was a one off bad day of bus diversions and a uti. Also I work on my days off all the time. I am concerned they don’t get that I may need to take more breaks and go to more appointments than a normal pregnancy. I thought it was clear but maybe need a more detailed note from my obstetrician

That sounds really stressful for you. I think it does sound like a communication issue, as they have otherwise made some accomodations (which they should) for you to work at home. While I understand your situation, I can also understand a new manager not being aware of who is usually a reliable worker than works in extra, and someone who might be taking advantage of the situation to take extra time of than needed. They may find it difficult to align being out to get the bus/do school drop off with not being able to walk far and take time to rest. I would have a chat to check in about how you're managing and in future, I would just be sure to flag any appointments etc. in advance. If I had to be offline for more than say 10 minutes, I'd drop a quick message, or just keep your laptop nearby/online so you have an eye on anything urgent and aren't shown as 'away'.

High risk pregnancy is really stressful, it’s great you’re working from home so hopefully that can aid things.

I took time off from work during both my high risk pregnancies. The first pregnancy I could work from home due to covid but the second I couldn’t. If you feel you’re stressed and not coping then speak with your midwife and let her know how you’re feeling. If you’re needing a sick line then they will encourage you to speak to your gp.

Have you had a risk assessment completed at work? If not then I suggest you speak with your manager and ask to complete one together.

what happened the other day was unfortunate but you can disappear for a morning and not expect there to be consequences sadly. Your old manager sounds incredibly understanding but your new manager isn’t being unreasonable. I’m sorry to say the mistake seems to be yours, you now know to contact your boss next time so perhaps just put this down to miscommunication on your part, take it as a half day and move on from there.
Its different them telling you to look after yourself and to take regular breaks than you being late and not communicating why, I’m sure they would have been understanding if you phoned them to explain the situation.

I would give it a few days to see how you’re feeling before deciding if you need to go off sick. I’d also check to make sure it wouldn’t impact your mat pay.

Can you reduce your hours - if possible use annual leave so as not to reduce your pay/qualifying pay for ML?

I had a stressful job and DC1 was born at 34 weeks. She arrived a couple of days after a huge and unachievable deadline was landed on me. I am sure that played a bit part.

With DC2 I reduced my hours to 4 days and then 3 days from mid pregnancy and she was born at 36+6 weeks (even though second children after a prem are statistically earlier)

I think you should absolutely try to reduce hours and stress (both physical and mental) for the sake of your pregnancy. However this does need to be done in a structured way with employer rather than not turning up ad hoc.

You are absolutely allowed to go to your pregnancy related appointments, I’m fairly certain the point is you didn’t tell anyone you had an appointment.

I don't think your company is in the wrong here. Of course you're allowed time for pregnancy related appointments. But you can't just randomly decide to go to the doctor's on a morning you know you have work, and expect not to be challenged on it if it runs into working hours. It's not like you were just a few minutes late! I'm a teacher and if I strolled into work almost 3 hours late and had made no attempt made to contact school to explain why I was running late, I would rightly be facing some form of disciplinary.

If you're concerned about the risks of your pregnancy then you have to be transparent with your company and have appropriate and reasonable adjustments made. Any emergency medical appointments you may take must be communicated with your employer. To be honest I think you're lucky they're only asking you to take the missed time as leave and that stronger action hasn't been taken.