Declining antenatal care

[Casuallydresseddeepinconversation]

I've declined midwife appts,I had a call last week to try and change my mind and another today,I feel coerced and bullied,patronised and ignored,I'm 20 weeks today and just want to be left alone, considering not going to my 20 week scan now too, the 13 week one wasn't a pleasant experience either and I feel very anti NHS,tho I don't have funds for complete private care, just feeling very emotional atm

Kindly OP, declining antenatal is not in the best interest of your baby. There are interventions that you absolutely don't have to consent to but the routine monitoring is very important to ensure any issues are picked up- some people have no symptoms of complications occurring and it is the routine appointments that identify these. 2 healthy pregnancies does not mean your third will be (I hope it is). They also measure your fundal height to keep an eye on baby's growth and if that doesn't measure in the correct trajectory for you then they will send you for a growth scan. These scans can pick up any issues with the placenta or amniotic fluid level. This is so important for baby's wellbeing. Restricted/slow growth is a factor in stillbirth and the correct monitoring of this is instrumental in ensuring these babies are delivered in timely, safe manner. The risk of placental dysfunction increases as you get older. I am not saying any of this to be mean or scare you, but I do think you should attend antenatal appointments for your baby's sake.

What did the maternity matron say to you when you spoke about this?

If you're 35 or over you are at higher risk of various complications. I'm not been snarky but you do not sound well informed.

Promising’ new way to predict older mums’ pregnancy risks revealed - Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust

The NHS performs an unholy number of interventions that are simply not necessary. Induction for one. My hospital had a 60% induction rate last year. They very much do perform necessary procedures.

Pregnancy in your late 30s and 40s | Safer Pregnancy

That's pretty unkind to say to someone who has had multiple miscarriages, she's only trying to help you.

OP, it's probably fine but do you really want to take the risk? When things go wrong, they can go catastrophically wrong, that's why we have antenatal care. 99 times out of 100 it might be fine, but do you want to be that 1 in 100 where it doesn't? Just because the risk is low, that doesn't mean there isn't a risk.

I have a child sitting in the other room playing who wouldn't be here without antenatal care. All fine one day, crash section the next. They wouldn't be here without monitoring.

Antenatal care is different than not going to the doctors for yourself, not taking medicine if you don't need to. Pregnancy isn't an illness but it is risky. Before modern antenatal care, mothers and babies routinely died, women's life expectancy was less than men's due to childbirth.

Which ones do they perform DURING pregnancy? We're talking about antenatal care here, not the birth!

You could decline induction if it came to that?

I was told it was due to the operation, it's not something I'm claiming,they haven't once mentioned my age or my last pregnancy being a risk factor

Just want to add that gestational diabetes really isn't much to do with BMI. You can be underweight and have no symptoms and still have it.

In total agreement.

I have 3 children - the first 2 were healthy and straight forward. I went to my 20 week scan with my third pregnancy expecting the same, but they found a heart defect on the baby.

This defect meant my care became dramatically different to how it would have been - increased appts and more regular scans and also having to give birth via c section, rather than the 2 natural births I'd had previously. My care was also moved to another hospital close to Alder Hey, so when I had the c section my son was immediately taken and put in intensive care until his life saving surgery at 2 weeks. PLEASE go to your 20 week scan, if not for you, for your unborn child. It is an anomaly scan and is one of the most important. Just because you have had 2 healthy babies, it does not necessarily mean your third will be. I am proof of that.

Just a thought, if you feel people are being rude to you say so. Just because you're pregnant it doesn't mean people can talk down to you. I get it all the time now I'm disabled. Ill , thick.
I would have your checks.
I lost my second son, he died invitro. I didn't know, I was too busy.
X

Blood tests to check blood group and rhesus status which shockingly bought was the same as a year ago in my last pregnancy, sweeps are another off the top off my head

I didn't have anything after my 20 week scan until 37 weeks. We had moved around a lot and I wasn't really focused, I've never been great at appointments or taking things seriously. So the growth wasnt measured, the midwife said i'd float through it... The birth was nearly catastrophic. The baby was huge, they weren't damaged but being saved resulted in my being torn apart never to be the same again physically.
The hospital stopped taking first time births after that. We were lucky they managed to grab a consultant as he was leaving to go home for his dinner. I remember standing up, seeing my insides fall out and saying, "is that supposed to happen?"
Many people don't need antenatal care, but just basic appointments can change outcomes you don't even realise have been avoided. Humans aren't well designed for childbirth since we went up onto two legs and our pelvis bones narrowed.
I do wish I had paid more attention to being pregnant, I was very immature.
The baby is now a fabulous teenager, by the way!

Ay best your behaviour is shortsighted.
Many healthy women have issues in pregnancy ( myself being one of them) which when nipped in the bud thanks to antenatal care get sorted without ling lasting effects.
Why would you decline that?
Sounds you might have some anxiety/mental health issues as this approach is not quite right

They check them to ensure they don't make a mistake that kills you.

Yes it is a waste of time and money as you already know your status, but it is to ensure they don't make a mistake.

A blood test is pretty low grade when it comes to medical procedures! That's a pretty daft excuse. A sweep would only be performed at the very end of your pregnancy. It's not routine antenatal care!

Is it because you don't like being called geriatric or do you just hate your unborn baby.

Sweeps are optional and aren't an antenatal check, like urine tests, BP checks, fundal measurements, and so on. I cannot see any logic in refusing regular checks on urine, BP, fundal measurements and so on.

My daughter was healthy with her second child, until she wasn't. It took an anti natal check to spot severe pre eclampsia and she was very unwell and not only her, but the baby was at risk. You are being foolish, I'm sorry to say. Either that, or you are suffering from anti natal depression but don't recognise it.

Just decline the sweeps, they are entirely optional.
The group and screen blood tests are important as they screen for antibodies as well as the blood group and rhesus status. The presence of certain antibodies can change and is important from a potential transfusion point of view. You can also decline that if you so wish although it would be ill advised.

It's also totally normal to decline a sweep

Actually while it's exceedingly rare your rhesus status can change. Your blood group while staying the same can develop antibodies which would be picked up on a group and save test - vital to know if you need a blood transfusion. Though guess they can give you O neg. But x matched blood always better. It's why they repeat the group and save later on in pregnancy, because of antibody development potential. I'm sorry but everything you post is telling of how uninformed you actually are without realising it.

OP if you don't like the midwife who did your booking appointment then you can in certain cases change midwife.

I did.

In my case I used distance as an excuse to change to someone who thought she could bullshit me to a cheerful, open and kind one who was assisted by a giggly student.

I'm not sure what you didn't like about the sonographer. They have to often tell women bad news.

You sound very silly and selfish and I can’t understand your reasoning. A private anatomy scan is only to tell you the sex of your baby. The 20 week NHS scan does all the measurements to ensure baby is growing correctly and checks the health of your baby.

I'm fighting fit now and certainly was back in my 20s when my children were born. I also had no intention of them being born in hospital (neither was).

However, you need to go to these appointments. Bribe yourself into them, promise yourself something nice for once you're done. You could have diabetes, pre eclampsia or need to discuss a myriad of other topics.

Refusing them will draw attention to you and you will receive more attention and it will not be positive.