It's a boy !

[cobden28]

My pregnant daughter has had her gender reveal scan today and with her permission, I've posted on Facebook that it's a boy. As this will be the first grandchild on both sides everyone is naturally very excited.

My problem is that with it being a boy, what are you supposed to do with a boy as opposed to a girl? I'm an only child of an only child - both my Mum and I don't have any siblings - and I went to all girls schools, so I'm not really au fait with what you're supposed to do with a baby boy as opposed to a baby girl? Apart from colour of baby knitting wool, of course!

What sorts of things do you buy for a boy as he grows up and how do you play with a grandson as opposed to a grnddaughter? I;m a very proud grandma-to-be, of course, but I've not been brought up with small boys around me and I'm not sure what will be expected of me as a grandma.

What little I do know about baby and child-rearing dates back to 1960's and 70's vintage, my daughter was born in 1991 and over the years child rearing practices hae changed a lot. How can I be a good grandma, without being interfereing or nosey of course?

This is a really weird thread to be honest. You do exactly the same as you would for a girl, change the colour of wool if you want but it's not necessary. Play with them the same, feed them the same. Your grandchild won't be 'male' or 'female' once born, they will be your grandchild, it's not going to be weird! Only practical price of advice for a boy is to point the willy down when you put a clean nappy on, otherwise the nappy leaks all over the belly.

First of all, congratulations! Lovely news!
Secondly, I never understood the question "What should I do with a boy?". I have one of each and have always treated them exactly the same. My daughter came first and when I had my son, it never occurred to me that I'd do different things with him or treat him differently. He enjoyed the same things his sister enjoyed: trips to the park, feeding the ducks, playing with a ball, going swimming, going to museums, going to soft play, playing with teddies etc.
As your grandson gets older you'll know what he's into and then you'll naturally be led by him when it comes to activities and toys. Maybe he'll be sporty or musical or creative etc. Just wait and see who he is.

This thread comes across as a bit baity

What do you do with him?

Just love him. What else?

I don't really understand the question.

What do you buy for him? Everything he needs and some of the things he wants.

How do you play with him? By modelling turn taking and sharing and rules and graciously winning and losing and laughing and being spontaneous and seeing where the wind takes you.

Same as with a girl.

Is this for real?

Surely not.

You dont know any men or boys?

On the off chance that this is a genuine question, you treat him just the same as you would any baby.

Ooh my mum had the same reaction when I announced I was having a boy! There are only girls in my family! Seriously! My boy only has female cousins. The truth is babies are babies. Instead of buying pink, you buy lots of colours (my boy looks great in salmon pink actually).

From the second they are born, they have their own personality and you forget the gender thing. I think if you only have girls in the family, you can't "picture" a boy. But once he's here, it all becomes very real and you realize it's a very silly question.

You'll have to go none contact with your grandson.

...just in case anyone thinks I'm being serious, I'm not.

You just have to love him and treat him like a baby? You'll get to know what he likes as he grows up.

He'll tell you what he likes. For my 2 year old daughter, it's monster trucks, dinosaurs, and the Incredible Hulk. Pretty hard to predict when I was pregnant.

Congratulations OP!

Your question is a little strange. You don't do anything particularly different with boys.

My advice is to read lots of books with him from birth onwards, take him for walks in nature, and get him riding a balance bike on a regular basis by the age of 2. Teach him to go fast so he can glide along, only putting his feet on the ground when he needs an extra push. Then when he's 3 get him a real pedal bike with no stabilisers and in about 20 minutes he'll be riding it.

Yes, this is a genuine question. I'm an only child, my single-parent Mum was also an only child and I went to all-girls schools (from age 9 to age 18) as was common in the 1960's. I was brought up without younger relatives around, so small boys were a mystery to me growing up. Girls did needlework and cookery , boys did woodwork and metalwork at junior school - that sort of thing.

Well your daughter will know what she wants and how to rear the child so you dont really need to worry about that ... all you need to do is support her. you do exactly the same with a boy as a girl only difference is how you probably change their nappy ??

So what you probably need to realise is that (most) kids aren't brought up in the gendered way that you describe any more.

They are little individuals and everything boys do/ like, girls do/ like as well. So like PPs said, get them out and about, scooter, bike, playgroups, craft, baking, pretend play, parks, swimming, duplo, reading books etc.

You need to wrap them in bacon, season with salt and pepper, dunk in the swimming pool and send out to the ice cream van. It’s so incredibly different to having a girl, you couldn’t possibly understand.

Yes, but surely you've seen and interacted with boys since then? You don't have to grow up with lots of boys to realise that baby boys are just like baby girls? I've got a mix of both and they were all treated exactly the same and played with the same and all had the same toys. They've all grown up to be well balanced people.

If you are savvy enough to call it a 'gender' scan, and announce it on a social media site such as Facebook (I mean, that is a gem of a thread right there on its own!) then I am sure you are 'with it' enough to understand that your question is a bit spurious

It's honestly still hard to understand how you can be seriously asking what you asking though.
Certainly for the baby years, there's absolutely no difference between raising boys and girls.
As they get older, of course they get their own interests. Some of those may or may not be gendered to some extent but this gets to be a very controversial topic and nowadays parents raise their children in a much less stereotyped way than you describe.
There are a shocking number of threads on here from mums disappointed at expecting boys, which may explain the backlash you are experiencing.
Really though, boys are great and I'm sure you are going to love being a grandparent.

What??

I’m totally with you OP! I grew up with three Dsis, and had very few male cousins. When my Dsis found out she was expecting a baby boy we were all a bit flummoxed - including Dsis. DNeph is in his twenties now and it all worked out lovely 😂 but I was relieved with my 2 DDs 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

You make sure there’s towels all around the changing mat. That’s literally the only difference

When 50% of the population are male, and the mother of the baby boy has most likely had to interact with a man to get pregnant, how on earth can you be flummoxed by the arrival of a male child

You must have come across males though given you have a daughter? What about the baby’s father?

Anyway, yes, not really a whole lot to know. See a baby rather than boy/girl and you’ll be grand. Soon enough he’ll tell you himself what floats his boat but babies are babies generally.

Lovely news!

I've just had a boy after three girls. All my family have only ever had girls so

Although I agree with PPs that it's exactly the same as having a girl grandchild, I do sort of get the feeling of not knowing what to do with boys. We're a lesbian couple with seven nieces and no nephews, so little boys felt a bit alien to us when we first heard we were having a boy. Now we have two and I think the only thing we're not that good at is teaching DS1 how to wee standing up.

No idea what I’m having but cath hakanson the parents guide to private body parts was a helpful guide to penis hygiene and care if I have a boy ! I don’t know if you’ll be doing personal care but honestly it’s just such a good book I’d recommend it to all parents.

wool colour - just go for whatever makes you happy! I’m currently crocheting a pink blanket (my favourite colour), weaving a neon one (needed to use up my stash!) , and knitting a green cardigan as well as a lavender romper. My mum did a blue/gray blanket for my first baby (turned out to be a girl) and is doing a cream one for this baby . Honestly babies of any gender are just the best excuse for more wool.

We grew up in a really matriarchal home. My Mother was raised by her and grandmother … we had barely any male influences or figures in our lives. And the ones we did have, we weren’t that keen on. That’s just a fact. My Dsis was genuinely worried about how she would play with a boy, would it be different etc … because she never had.