Getting myself in a tizz about missed miscarriage

[Nascette]

Hi,
I'm 11 weeks into my second pregnancy. I've had one viability scan at 7weeks and all seemed well. However my anxiety about missed miscarriage will not go away. It's been fuelled by a few things. My symptoms have been really inconsistent, coming and going a lot. When I have them, they are mild to non-existant. My first I was solidly nauseous for weeks before it went away around now.

Secondly, I can't yet feel my uterus. I swear at this point last pregnancy I could feel it just above my pelvis, and this is making me paranoid that the baby isn't growing.

Also, and tmi but my orgasm hasn't changed. Last time I could feel the difference in my uterus but this time it just felt like normal.

I have just over a week to wait until the 12 week scan and I'm just so convinced it's going to be the worst case scenario.

Anyone got anything that might ease this fear? Thanks!

Hi congratulations. I’m also 11 weeks pregnant and I could have wrote this myself last week I was so so worried because there were some days I weren’t sick and other symptoms disappearing. I ended up booking a private scan on the Monday & baby was very active kicking around & I was measuring ahead 🫶🏻 just here to give my outcome & to make you feel more at ease. I hope it’s helped 🙂

Thank you! It does help. I was nowhere near this anxious with the first and now my brain can't figure out the difference between anxiety and intuition!

I was the same with my first, didn’t panic I just took day by day . But now i read all forums/ tik toks and it’s makes me panic so much 🥺 when is your scan next week? 🙂

Yeah I end up in a Google spiral too! It's not until the 18th so just over a week and I'll be nearly 13 weeks at that point. It still feels so far away

The thing is, there is nothing you can do to control the outcome. I have been through two missed MCs and there was nothing I could have done. With my current pregnancy I just decided to wait it out for the 12 week scan and hope for the best, as when I'd had early scans before it had ended badly.

It is an anxious time until you can feel movements- and even then it's anxious when you don't feel them for a little while! But the best thing to know is that there's very little you can do the control any outcomes, apart from following the usual medical advice.

Good luck with your scan!

Thanks, I do know this really and sometimes that's enough to comfort for a little while before I get thinking about it again. I think I'm extra anxious because it's iui and we have limited chances. It feels like extra pressure.

Hi OP, congratulations on your pregnancy - you have my full sympathies as i get like this every single time in the lead up to a scan!
I'm now 20 weeks and the familiar scanxiety has reared it's ugly head once again.

What you've described is perfectly normal though. This is my second pregnancy and it's night and day from my first. I've had to stop comparing as it's been so different even though they are both the same sex!

I still can't feel the top of my uterus this time round. Still no movements at 20 weeks even though I heard the heartbeat last week and on every scan she's been moving around like crazy. Pregnancy is a daily worry.

It's also completely normal for symptoms to come and go and vary in intensity so that doesn't mean anything either.

If it helps I had a missed miscarriage and had pregnancy symptoms solidly until I started bleeding when my anti natal depression and nausea suddenly lifted. I didn't have intermittent symptoms at all, so I don't think that's necessarily indicative. From speaking to lots of other mums pregnancy symptoms can differ wildly between pregnancies so I don't think that's indicative either. Hope that helps.

Sorry I should probably explain that in my MM the foetus stopped growing at 6 weeks but I didn't start bleeding until 12 weeks. I had consistent pregnancy symptoms right through that time period. (And my HCG continued to be raised for a number of weeks after that).

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Hi,
I can identify with this so much, I had a MMC recently and now am 6.5 weeks and TERRIFIED. Additionally so many of my closest friends are pregnant and so if anything goes around I won’t be able to escape thoughts of the timelines. Im literally so scared and anxious. I wish I could be happy and hopefully but I’m just so aware that a pregnancy can stop at any point with no signs. Im so jealous of women who haven’t experienced a miscarriage and can be a little bit more naive and hopefully about the whole thing. I don’t have much advice really as im struggling myself but just letting you know you’re not alone.

Thanks this has reassured me a bit. It's been so different from last time, it's just giving me that nagging doubt!

Sorry to hear you went through this, it's genuinely my worst fear this time and I hope after 12 weeks I'll calm a bit. I want to enjoy it!

Sorry you've had to go through this. I actually haven't experienced miscarriage before but I feel a lot of pressure because we have limited fertility treatment as we have to self fund it.

I know the feeling of having a lot of pregnancy around you to compare yourself to as well. It makes it seem so hard

I was just the same with my pregnancies following miscarriages. The wait is awful. I paid for private reassurance scans so I could see baby's heartbeat and give myself peace of mind. Or just try and not overthink it and keep busy for a week. Good luck x

I've had five known pregnancies and three children. It's anxiety I promise you. There's no intuition at this level of pregnancy, because all the signs are internal and symptoms definitely wax and wane. By the time you've arranged a private scan, the NHS one will be here. Try to arrange lots of lovely distraction activities, get into a really engrossing box set or game or book, and tell as many people as you can stand to so they can support and help distract you.

The chances are high that everything will be fine if you've seen a heartbeat at 7 weeks. Please try not to worry (and if you can't not worry, then at least make peace with worrying. Worrying is not going to make the pregnancy less viable.)

My symptoms came and went and still do now. I'm now 24 weeks so no mmc here.

My mum had a mmc where baby never grew past 6 weeks and she had awful sickness all the way until 12 week scan where she found out she'd had a mmc. Then a further 2 weeks where the pill didn't work so she had surgery to remove. Then she stopped feeling sick. Symptoms aren't a measure of if somethings going well. I had barely any symptoms until around 18 weeks and was convinced there wouldn't be a heartbeat and I booked many private scans to check! Well he likes to kick me in the ribs now and I wish id have enjoyed the times of having no pain or symptoms 😅

OP it's probably more than fine. Every pregnancy's different so try not to compare to your previous. Worrying won't change the outcome

Second is different. Your muscles and ligaments aren't as tight. Your body is used to it. Also your baby might be a different sex. Chill. Avoid TikTok or whatever makes you anxious.

I'm 8 weeks and haven't felt sick for 2 days after feeling horrendously sick for a few weeks, it's a worrying time isn't it and the count down till you can have a scan, scan anxiety is a real thing too!!
Try to get as busy as you can and hopefully the week will go quickly xxx

I feel like I could get obsessive about it so I've tried to hold off on any scans other than the viability one we had!

Thanks, this was really nice and I like the making peace with worrying. It's exhausting and just not helpful. I'll definitely be more mindful about my anxiety

That's what I keep telling myself, I'm deffo fatter too so I guess I'm less likely to feel things as easily from the outside!

I hope so! I was googling this around your time too. Mine was never awful but the symptoms came back again. Those moments in between I feel like you're torn between thank god I feel ok and I want it back!