Partner driving me mad!

[2ndtimemommy]

He does nothing around the house apart from cook. I clean up the mess. I've got pgp and I'm just over a week for my due date. Getting out of bed most days is painful. I try to keep the house clean and trying to get everything ready for the baby. If I ask him to help it's such a big deal so I've stopped asking as he just gets in a mood. My main issue is that I'm in constant pain and while I'm trying to keep the house clean (with the help of my mum ) my partner makes it such hard work. He leaves he's clothes all over . Chucks his shoes at the bottom of the stairs (even though I bought a shoe cabinet as I sick of him leaving them all over) Im really stugging to bend and constantly pick up after him. He finishes work at 3 and just lays on the sofa. I manage to clean the kitching today, went for shower and come down to pots all over and while he's napping on the sofa. So fed up. I want him to leave as it will just make my day to day life so much easier . He doesn't even feel bad that my mum comes to help me, who has fibromyalga and arthritis. While he just sits there

Was he not like this before you fell pregnant OP?

We only started living together after I fell pregnant. I was told I would need fetitlity treatment if I wanted any more children. It was a surprise pregnancy . We had only been together a few months

I wouldn’t think twice about leaving him. Life it’s too short.

better to open the wrong door and close it than spend years in the wrong room

I agree with this honestly. I couldn’t be arsed with it.

Doesn't sound like you love him, or even like him much. He's just an accidental sperm donor. So why would you live with him? Does he have redeeming qualities?

It he gets moody at the thought of a little tidying up, he's not going to cope with night feeds or nappies, is he?

Sone men are like this. Try to ask him over and over again. It might stick slowly. If it gets him in the mood that is his issue. Ohh and appreciate that he cooks. I can hardly get my husband to cook something more complicated than ready made stuff (he is not that great at cleaning either, but he does some of it at least, maybe after a bit of nagging :/ ).

If your partner can't cope with a little housework, laundry and tidying up, how the hell is he going to cope with a newborn???!! You will be expected to do what you are doing now, plus looking after a newborn, all without his support. You need to give him a wake-up call - shape up or ship out. If you hadn't fallen pregnant, would you still be dating him? If the answer is no, then there's no point in being with him. It sounds as if you're with him for practical reasons, or what you perceived as practical, rather than out of love. Is the property you are living in joint, his or just yours? Could you move out? I wouldn't bother with this relationship, it's not worth the hassle. Find a way to co-parent your child, but knock any kind of romantic relationship on the head.

Get a box and for a few days rather than putting things away put everything in the box. Hide it whilst doing so and then hand it over and tell him to sort himself out!

My partner did everything when I was on maternity leave and a lot when I was pregnant. Whenever one of us is going through something the other steps up and takes up the slack. It's what you do when you are in a partnership

Thing is. Before I got pregnant he was very attentive. Massages, flowers, chocolates, date nights and he woukd wait on me hand and foot. Our sex life was amazing. It's like now I'm pregant he's not attacted to me anymore. Obviously ive changed and my body has changed. It feels like he just doesn't care about me now. Sex has gone out of the window. He keeps telling me i look a mess and calling me fatty (in a jokey way) He's even started sleeping down stairs as I won't let his dog upstairs anymore as I'm sick of tripping over him in the night and constantly cleaning his hairs up. So now he sleeps downstairs with him 🙄. It's my house we are living in for now. He does have is own home which we was going to sell. This will be his first child. I have a son from a previous relationship . I just feel really alone and I just want him to care about me.

Sorry, but he wanted a girlfriend and sex, not a partner and a child. Get rid of him now while he still has his house to go back to. Being a single parent won't be more work than looking after a lazy, rude manbaby while you're pregnant.

He was doing these things though because you were in what would be considered the honeymoon period. Having only been together a couple of months and falling pregnant..
if he's got his own place then I'd be asking him to return to his home where he can clean up after himself and his dog because your sick of cleaning up after the pair of them whilst so heavily pregnant. He'll ether ship out or step up. The answer will tell you everything you need to know.

@2ndtimemommy but how was he as a partner. Flowers, chocolates etc whilst lovely are easy ways to show affection and easy ways to fake affection. Have a read into "love bombing"
When the going is good it's easy to be a good girl/boyfriend. You see a person's true colours and intent when things aren't easy, when there's an imbalance and one person needs more than the other.

Oh my goodness. I just read your update. Leave him.

He did all those things because you were still in the honeymoon phase, they don’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. How a man treats you during pregnancy tells you a lot about him. This is a vulnerable time for you, he should be helping you and making your life easier not harder. Things will not get better. You want home to care about you but he’s made it clear he doesn’t. If you love yourself you’ll leave. He’s given you a child but I guarantee if you stay with him he’ll take your mental health and ruin it. Don’t bring up a child in this situation, go where you’re celebrated

I don’t want to be morbid, but sometimes things don’t work - out last pregnancy ended in loss and I had hyperemesis the entire sixteen weeks - it was horrific and those dark days were made ten times easier because I had an amazing partner. My point is, if things go tits up, is he going to actually help you or hinder you? He sounds lame to be honest and anyone who says ‘he’s just a man’ needs to leave their own man because it’s ’just a man who has zero respect’. I always think, if you’ve gotta ask the question, you already know the answer. If you’ve gotta write a pros and cons lists, the answer is already answered.