Excuse when it’s too early to tell people!

[Plum02]

I’m 7 weeks pregnant and suffering from morning sickness and general exhaustion.

I lead a team of 10 who are geographically dispersed and we meet in person as a team once per quarter. We’re due to meet next week which will be a 3.5 hour journey each way for me and it has been booked and arranged for months.

The plan is to stay overnight and in the evening we’ve arranged an early Christmas do (as we don’t see each other again until Feb) combined with a leaving do for someone leaving the team.

However, there is no way I can cope with the travel right now, let alone a night out after travelling and a full day of work.

It’s too early to tell the whole team I’m pregnant but since I’m not actually off sick I’m not sure what else to tell them about why I can’t go! There are others travelling further and the date has been pre-booked for so long. As the team leader I generally take the lead in terms of chairing and facilitating the discussions when we do get together. I feel terrible for flaking, especially since it’s the Christmas and leaving do and don’t want it to look like I couldn’t be bothered to travel! Please help!

Yeah I would say stomach bug - that you're ok to WFH but not up to travel and partying and potentially contagious

You say "I'm unwell and can't make it, apologies".

You tell your manager it's because of pregnancy but you haven't yet shared this with the team.

Honestly OP... Chill! This is not a big deal.

Maybe I’m overthinking but I can’t think of any other illness where I’d be well enough to work from home but wouldn’t travel

As others have said, the day before you could say you are 'under the weather' so won't be travelling there, but will still be chairing/online whatever. IF someone actually said 'Well what is wrong?' you just say its a personal matter you'd prefer not to discuss, but that you will be fine/recovering etc.

IF you really want a medical reason (which you don't need) stubbed toe, sprained ankle, pulled your back, ate something dodgy.

Just say covid or upset stomach then.

Are you really feeling too ill to go though? I was tired and nauseous but my work involved travel so I just got on with it.

You don't get an award for suffering through work and unless you're cancelling a life saving operation, work can survive without you. The judgement on a pregnant woman not feeling well enough to travel on a Pregnancy forum is unneccessary.

OP I totally get why if the boss (you) and the main facilitator of the event doesn't show up it can raise more questions than if someone just attending didn't show up. Can you still facilitate remotely? We do that at my work often. In which case don't take a sick day, do it remotely and say you've got a personal commitment which you need to be home for. No sick day and you're not outright lying to your boss about sickness either. If you can't do it remotely, same excuse, just delegate to someone to facilitate.