Miscarriage fear

[Babystarz]

Hi!
I'm 39 and after iui I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my first baby. I am so happy and have wanted this for years but being slightly older, I have seen so many of my friends go through miscarriages. Some early and some sadly later.
Just wanted to talk about this fear that's on my mind alot and see if I'm going mad!!! Xx

First of all, congratulations. You’re not going mad. It’s normal to have this fear especially with a much longed for pregnancy. I was terrified of having a miscarriage all throughout my pregnancy. I used to have nightmares about it and when I woke up it would take me a while to realise that I was still pregnant and it hadn’t actually happened. I had no actual problems with my pregnancy except for gestational diabetes very late on, and my son is healthy. It sounds awful but what helped me is having the mindset that it’s out of my hands. If I was going to have a miscarriage there was nothing I could do about it. Worrying about it wasn’t going to stop it from happening so I might as well enjoy the pregnancy while I could.

Hi OP.

I'm almost 42 and 19 weeks pregnant, had my first when I was 37 and she's now a feisty 4 year old.

It's normal to feel extremely anxious in early pregnancy, especially as the risk of MC is highest before 8 weeks and something like 1 in 4 women will experience a MC at some point in their life regardless of age.

There is literally nothing you can do in early pregnancy apart from stay positive that it's going to be OK and count your blessings every day that you are pregnant. Stressing and feeling anxious about something completely out of your control won't help or change anything - i know it's much easier said than done trying to 'relax' and enjoy being pregnant but this is what got me through the early stages!

For me personally, I found having a scan after 8 weeks reassuring as the chance of MC drops significantly when you've seen a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks plus. No guarantees of course and I still feel familiar dread before every appointment or scan but it helped calm me a bit in the first trimester to know that the odds were now very much in my favour.

I get how you're feeling. I'm 26 and currently 9 and a bit weeks pregnant. I've had 2 good scans at 6 and 8 weeks (measuring ahead at 8+4). I have another scan in 5 days but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to lose the baby. If the scan goes okay I have the NIPT booked a week later