How the FUCK are you supposed to rest after a C section

[Whydoeslifesuck]

My ELSC was Wed, so I'm only day 3. Yesterday I was feeling much better, but I overdid it with all the walking between wards, NICU, PICU etc. My baby has been in intensive care since he was born, and at 2 days old had surgery under general anaesthetic. I've literally never held him because he's on a ventilator.

I've been discharged and spent the night at home, but woke up feeling like a truck hit me. How the fuck am I supposed to rest, shower, express every 3 hours, eat, spend time with my toddler, and visit the hospital where my toddler isn't allowed in the PICU??? My husband is a wonderful support, but he can only do so much.

I'm not really looking for answers, just feeling really low today. My incision is stinging a bit - community midwives will be out at some point.

Thanks everyone - I really needed to hear all that. To be clear, I'm not doing any toddler care, cooking or housework, but I was admitted to hospital pre-ELCS so I've not seen my eldest properly in a week. He's playing independently, but he wants company and I want to chat with him because I've missed him.

The midwife doesn't think I've done any damage yesterday - I just need to drill into my head that I NEED TO REST (and express whatever milk I can).

I've been lying down all morning and the painkillers are starting to kick in. Maybe I'll be able to manage to shower before we go to the PICU later!! 💖💖💖🤕

Agree day 3 is the worst day. Day 4 is drastically better. Day 5 even better than that.

I know how you feel, I was in for a week with DC2 and she was in NICU for a bit. Very difficult being away from toddler for so long.

DH absolutely can manage everything else. Hope you feel better soon x

A huge difference to years ago. I suppose it is due to cost, rather than my hoped improvement in medication and aftercare.

I had an individual room for nearly a week. ELC’s were booked for twice a week. When new admissions arrived I was asked if I could give the room to someone else. If course I did, but asked to go home rather than unpacking back on the ward. Home in 5 days.

My GP warned me about doing too much, just because I'd answered the door to him.

This was me.. I had an emergency section, my baby underwent major emergency surgery at 2 days old, weighing 750 grams, I have 2 other children. Days 3 to 7 were the worst pain wise. You cant rest, but you have to take it easy physically until you feel more healed. Its easy to say that. I did not take it easy. I insisted on walking myself around and this was not the best move. You are also going through a lot emotionally and there's no way of making it any easier other than knowing this will pass and these days will one day form your baby's story. Congratulations and i wish you all the best.

My DH did everything those first two weeks. I spent them entirely on the bed or sofa, except for a daily waddle from day 5

It's impossible and it infuriates me when people suggest it tbh. Without offering help!
I'm 3 week 2 days post my third section my husband had 2 weeks off then went back to work he works away mon to Fri we have a 2 and 4 year old so I've had to drive wat sooner than you should for school drop off obviously do all house work which is a lot not to mention very little sleep ! Internally everything feels very sore. Was very pleased to see my husband home this tea time first thing he did was make tea then send me for a bath - bliss!

I was a lone parent and managed because no choice I also had 3 other young kids to look after

I hear you. My husband went to Afghanistan when dd was 4 weeks 😢😢

You can do it

What are you whinging about

You're a woman

You don't require help

If you were a man who had had major surgery it'd be a different kettle of fish, but you're not so....

Woman up!

Argh I feel your pain op, it's so tough 💐💐

Congrats on your baby xx

I must have been really fortunate as I had nothing like the issues being mentioned by other posters.

I was in hospital for less than 24 hours as it was during Covid so they kicked you out asap despite me being over 40.

By day 3 I wanted to get out and about so went shopping. Other than taking painkillers for a few days I didn’t have any issues at all. I was expecting it to be much worse.

Maybe because I didn’t have a load of people helping me made me just get on with things as there wasn’t really much alternative.

Get a wheelchair in the hospital.

Combi feeding? I don't think you need to pump every 3 hours when they are this tiny since they drink so little one pump can do a double feeds.

Congratulations on your new baby OP, and I’m really sorry they are poorly.

Please speak to the picu staff and explain the things you are finding difficult. They will have cared for lots of babies and mums in your position.

Get your husband to bring your toddler and spend some one to one time doing something special together while your husband visits the baby. You could combine watching some telly together, having a cuddle and expressing. Make sure you’ve got some nice snacks, express next to your baby, if you can afford get those machines that just go in your bra.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Most people will (thankfully) never have a child in picu so don’t compare your experience to others. If you don’t care for yourself, it is impossible to parent your little children. Good luck, and thinking of you.

When I had a C section and 2 other DC to care for my Mum came to stay for 2 weeks to help me. You can't drive for 6 weeks after a C section. My Mum did all food shopping, cooking, laundry and did things with my other 2 DC. She took them to the park, did art work with them, helped them make Xmas cards, and did baking cakes and icing them with DC. Once DC in bed she wrapped up their Xmas gifts too. She cooked me lots of freezer meals to just pull out of the freezer after she'd gone home. DH took 2 weeks off once Mum went home. That way I had help for a month. I focused on breast feeding the baby and reading to DC. I know I was very very lucky and I was very grateful.

This is awful.
Buy in help if you can eg extra nursery days for toddler or at home babysitter. Expressign every three hours is brutal have you got a bra and a double pump to make it quicker?

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and wise words. I'm two weeks post partum and things are much easier!

My recovery has gone really well - I dumped the painkillers last week and I'm pretty much fully mobile (still being careful about heavy lifting though). The hospital got me a double electric pump so expressing is going okay. It's the drive to the hospital that's the real killer, but baby is out of intensive care and they want to transfer him to a different hospital which is half the distance. I'm halfway through my competancy training for baby's care, so we're hoping to have him home by Christmas - I was told earlier in the year he would be in ICU for 3 months, so that was good news to hear!!

If anyone finds this thread in the future, it gets better.