Telling your toddler

[Makingchocolatecake]

5 weeks, toddler (2.5) doesn't know yet. Keep asking her if she'd like a baby brother or sister and she says no or 'I don't want anything thank you'.

I think she'll struggle with sharing, get jealous that the baby gets to sleep in our room etc, all normal stuff, fine.

She'll be due to start nursery (probably 2 days) a couple of months after baby is due, worried she'll feel pushed out. She can't start now as they only take age 3 and I don't want to pay for a different nursery (don't get free hours). How do I manage this?

My eldest daughter’s biggest concern was “how do we know what her name is?”! Which led to us involving her in choosing a name. We told her just after the 20 week scan.

Your daughter will go along with however you present it, so as long as you can create something fun for her to do with you that’s baby related, then hopefully she’ll take it ok. She’ll probably have lots of questions, so just make sure you give her plenty of time to ask them.

My youngest daughter also gave the eldest a gift when she was born so that she wasn’t left out when everyone came to coo over the new baby.

Good luck!

Stop asking! Let it drop and tell her when you feel comfortable to do so. Don't over egg it, just let her know be pleased and answer any questions. After that talk about it generally but don't have the baby as the focus.

I would leave it completely and start talking about it again much nearer the time it will affect her as a child that age can't comprehend something that won't happen until 8 months into the future.

I wouldn't ask her things like this - there will be a baby sibling and she doesn't get a say in that or whether it's a brother or sister so it should be an update at the right time not a question

We brought our 2y9mo (at the time) to the 12 week scan and that was how we told him. Then we were pretty casual throughout the rest of the pregnancy - at first it was just the occasional mention. In the last trimester we were heavy on reading books about being a big brother and really trying to play up his role as Mummy's helper, so when people asked him did he want to be a big brother he always says yes.

We're only 3 days post partum, so I can't speak much for its success yet!

I didn't tell my 4yo until after the 12 week scan (and NIPT results in my case) as knew she wouldn't really understand the loss if something bad happened.
When we did tell her I had a visible bump and we showed her scan pics etc. Now she says morning and night to 'baby sister' every day, kisses the bunp, plans what games they will play together etc. It's very sweet.

I'm making sure to have plenty of 1 on 1 time with her before baby is here, also going to decorate her bedroom so it's not just baby getting a new nursery

Told my two year old after the 12 week scan but she is obsessed with babies so she loved the idea, we talked about it all the time as she watched my belly grow. She adores her brother and actually understands that he’s the baby that used to be in mummy’s tummy.
that being said, she is jealous and has definitely had major behaviour issues since he was born 9 weeks ago, it’s such a huge adjustment and there’s probably so many things going through her little mind. Everything that happens will get some kind of reaction from a toddler so I wouldn’t worry about starting nursery as everything will affect her anyway as it’ll all now be somewhat different. It will be fine and you will find your own ways to include her and make her feel as loved as she was before there were two of them. Behaviour changes will settle.
and I hope you don’t have my experience which was that my toddler got croup, then a cough and cold with conjunctivitis when baby was three weeks old. She was screaming for me whilst I had a newborn feeding around the clock and after we’d spent nine months telling her all about the cuddles and kisses she could give the baby when he arrived, we then spent the next three weeks telling her stay away try not to touch him! Nightmare.

If there is any way at all to get your toddler into a nursery before baby is here then i would do it - otherwise, there is a strong chance that your first born starts to associate being sent to nursery because of their new siblings arrival. This could bring feelings of jealousy and cause behavioural issues.

Also be prepared that starting nursery will likely bring at least 6 months of germs into your household!