How to deal with visitors

[NewbieMummytobe]

Hi all, so I am currently pregnant and trying to make some decisions about who/when visits will happen after birth. I have already decided I want MIL in the room as I give birth as she is an ex midwife compared to my mum who will just flap! Plus I’m not particularly close to my mum compared to MIL.

The problem is both ILs and my parents live quite far away (2 hours for ILs, 4 hours for mine) and our house is definitely not big enough to host. Currently as ILs are retired the plan is for them to get in the car the second I go into labour with FIL staying at our house with the dog while we’re in the hospital. The problem is I know my parents will also want to rush down as soon as I go into labour and will want to meet baby asap after birth.

I’m just not sure how to deal with the whole situation? Do I ask them to get a hotel? Do I not tell them I’m in labour and just FaceTime once it’s over? I’d really appreciate some advice, especially from people who have been in a similar situation.

thanks x

Do you think your parents would assume that they’d be able to stay at your house? Is that what they usually do when they visit? If it is then I’d definitely reach out to them beforehand and just gently let them know that won’t be happening this time but I’d hope they’d already have assumed that!

If you’re not massively close to your parents and don’t want them there immediately I’d just tell them once baby is born. The only people who knew I was in labour were my parents and that’s because my mum was with me and my husband in hospital, I didn’t tell anyone else because I couldn’t be bothered with 1000 texts while I was in labour and it was pointless worrying everyone (I knew my gran would be on the edge of her seat worrying knowing I was in labour) so it was easier and kinder to just share the good news once the stressful bit was done!

It doesn’t hurt to think about what you’d like beforehand in terms of visitors, share that with everyone, and then see how you feel when baby is here and you can always change your mind and let people know then! Good luck x

My parents have only been to visit once in the 4 years since I moved away and that was maybe 3 years ago for a special occasion where they spent one night in a hotel! I just feel bad because I know how excited they are, but my two bed house is not big enough for everyone x

If that’s the case then I imagine they wouldn’t assume they would stay with you but it doesn’t hurt to just reach out with a gentle text to let them know you can’t have overnight guests x

I didn't tell my parents I was in labour. No real reason, it just didn't occur to me.

My in-laws knew because they drove us to the hospital (DH has a disability which prevents him driving).

I'd maybe talk to them now along the lines of "will you stay in the same hotel as last time?" They might not be assuming they can stay - I think that would be quite a presumption if they've not stayed before and haven't mentioned it to you. So you might be worrying for no reason.