Am I silly to ask for Elective C Section?

AlienLady · 2024-10-28T19:29:17+00:00

I had a Forceps delivery last time. It was pretty horrendous seeing them pull DS out with those things. Then ended up in hospital for a week due to sepsis with DS having to have a cannula put in. So I’m think of elective this time round. I’m 37 weeks and the thought of going through the above again is giving me anxiety. But my sister in law and friend don’t know why I would want a c section - they both had an emergency one.

Row23 · 28/10/2024 19:36

I had a similar delivery with my son. It took me a long time to get over the shock of it and I’m more scared of giving birth again now than I ever was first time around. So I’ve also considered an elective c-section if I have another baby.
I think there’s probably a big difference between an elective and an emergency c-section though. I’m the same way that you were shocked by your forceps delivery, I’m sure your SIL and friend have shock from their emergency deliveries.
I have friends who had scheduled c-sections and it sounds like it was just a very calm relaxed environment. Worlds away from what we experienced I imagine!
The biggest thing to consider is the recovery - I don’t know a lot about it but obviously it’s major surgery.
Speak to you midwife, ask for a longer appointment to talk through all of your options. If you didn’t have a debrief from your first birth then also ask for that too as it’ll help you understand why things happened. But I don’t think you’re at all silly for consider a c-section.

CarolNewYear · 28/10/2024 19:37

This is probably mediocre advice, but you do you. No birth is the same and only you know how you feel about having a vagina birth this time around. I'm very early days but also thinking about trying to push for a c section owing to a very traumatic experience last time around (retained placenta, bleeding, surgery, infection and two week stay). Let me know what you decide and if your midwife etc are supportive. X

lightsandtunnels · 28/10/2024 19:42

I had a horrendous first birth with DS that ended up with an emergency C section. I requested a C section as soon as I found out I was pregnant a few years later with DD. It wasn't a problem. If it's what you want, I would speak to someone sooner rather than later so they can book you in but you may have left things a little bit late? I am sure though that there are many Mums who can tell you some really positive stories of a straightforward birth after one that was complicated. Speak to your midwife asap.

HappyGoLucky31 · 28/10/2024 19:45

I had an emergency section last time following a long and failed induction, I asked them for a C section but they would have given me one anyway because I had meconium waters.

Even though it was theatre and major surgery, I felt in control - weirdly. I had done a hypnobirthing course but I don’t know, I just didn’t trust my body to do it and I don’t this time either. I’ve watched far too much Emma Willis and One Born Every Minute! Which they advise you totally not to to do but …

I have opted for another section and the midwives and the consultant agreed. I know it’s the right choice for me. You do what’s right for you OP.

I would never be induced ever again.

witchesbroom · 28/10/2024 19:56

I had a natural birth with my first, ended up with a traumatic 3rd degree tear and 2 hours in surgery when she arrived. With my second I knew straight away I didn't want that to happen again, I opted for a section and I am so glad I did. It was such a lovely calm experience, I was kept up to date with everything that was going on and even with a couple of moments of almost passing out in surgery it was night and day compared to my first birth. Don't get me wrong, recovery was hard especially with a newborn and a toddler but I'd do it again if I had to.
I think only you can really know what you want to do and it's entirely your decision, you don't even need to have a reason, they are not allowed to refuse you.

UrsulaSings123 · 28/10/2024 19:56

If you want an elective cesearean then you'd better speak to someone about it soon as I'm pretty sure you'll need a consultant appointment to get booked in. Its not one of those things where you can just turn up in labour and go 'I'd like a ceasearean please'. Choosing to have a ceasearean shouldn't be a problem, maternal wishes are usually taken into account now, but you will need to organise it.

Original poster

AlienLady · 28/10/2024 20:27

Well I told them at the 34 week appointment and the midwife said she’d put a request for a briefing. I’ve heard nothing so pretty annoyed so contacted the midwife again who said she’d send an email.

She never spoke about what type of birth I wanted before the 34 week appointment and I’m not sure why it’s taking so long? It’s giving me anxiety again.

OP posts:

Mam89 · 28/10/2024 20:43

UrsulaSings123 · 28/10/2024 19:56

If you want an elective cesearean then you'd better speak to someone about it soon as I'm pretty sure you'll need a consultant appointment to get booked in. Its not one of those things where you can just turn up in labour and go 'I'd like a ceasearean please'. Choosing to have a ceasearean shouldn't be a problem, maternal wishes are usually taken into account now, but you will need to organise it.

I requested a section during my induction when I was in labour and it was no problem.

UrsulaSings123 · 28/10/2024 20:44

Hopefully it'll get sorted soon. Maternity care seems to move pretty quickly, unlike a lot of other NHS services.

Hosum · 28/10/2024 20:54

My first ended up ina forceps delivery after a very long failed induction. Second elective c section - consultant I saw at 32 weeks initially dismissive (he pointed out I had a healthy 10 year old - I pointed out the length of time to sibling had a lot to do with me coming to terms and learning to advocate) - elective was done at 36 weeks. Best experience ever and was during Covid so no pain relief post bar over the counter and out in less than 24 hours.

Don't be shy-/ back foot in advocating - if this is what you want. - pester until booked in.

readyforroundthree · 28/10/2024 21:08

You can't compare an emergency c section with an elective. I had an emergency c section with my first child and an elective with my second and they were completely different experiences. Compared to the emergency nothing was rushed, everything was chill, we were chatting away, they will play music if you ask them to. You even walk into the theatre on your own. My emergency was like something out of a horror film, I looked like I was half dead, vomit all over me, pale as a ghost after being in labour for an hour and a day.
Honestly, if it's what you want then go for it. I don't think you are mad at all.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 28/10/2024 21:28

I was pleased with mine but the recovery was harder than I thought and you won't be able to lift your big kid for a while.
But if you want it you need to tell hospital asap so they can book it in

GG1986 · 28/10/2024 21:44

I had a traumatic episotomy and forcep delivery with my first, only on gas and air, then a haemorrhage. So 2nd pregnancy I mentioned an elective with my midwife and she said it was up to me, I said no matter what I would refuse an induction after what happened the first time. So I opted for c section at 39 weeks and it was definitely the best decision for me, it was calm and I felt in control and well looked after. You need to contact your midwife as soon as possible to say it is what you would like and hopefully they can get you booked in. Good luck

Lifelover16 · 28/10/2024 21:50

You are not silly at all, especially after your first experience.
Keep emailing until you get booked in.
Wishing you a great experience this time around.

discoballdave · 28/10/2024 21:51

You're not silly at all.

I had two traumatic births on top of each other. My third was an elective caesarean and it was so calm, so controlled and I healed so well. Definitely more pain in the first three days after the operation but I took care of myself as best I could and looking back it was a great birth.

Clearinguptheclutter · 28/10/2024 21:58

My first birth was similar to yours. I asked my midwife for an appointment with a consultant to discuss an elective c section and the consultant couldn’t have been more lovely about it. I could have absolutely wanted one if I wanted to. Depends on who you speak to though, you might have to be a bit pushy but you absolutely can have one

that all being said I decided against in the end because of having a toddler and the impact my recovery might have on them. I felt happy that I’d been able to make the right decision for me though. As it happened dc2’s birth was a heck of a lot less traumatic than dc1, and he was nearly 3 lbs bigger.

on a separate note I have really suffered with stress incontinence since dc1s birth and I don’t think enough is done to warn pregnant women that this is an absolutely substantial risk of having a natural birth.

Original poster

AlienLady · 30/10/2024 09:15

So I text my midwife on Sunday and she said she sent a message and I’ve still not heard anything. I have my 37 weeks appointment tomorrow. Do I wait until tomorrow?
I am getting really annoyed that I’ve not heard anything!!

OP posts:

readyforroundthree · 30/10/2024 09:21

@AlienLady I would ask her at your appointment tomorrow. I'm scheduled to have my third c section in December and I've been told you won't get a date until a few days before because they are so busy. It's something they can schedule really quickly but they aren't in any rush to do so, if you know what I mean? You definitely won't be given a slot before 39 weeks, it's usually carried out at 39+1 - 39+4, unless you need it earlier for medical reasons.

Original poster

AlienLady · 30/10/2024 09:26

readyforroundthree · 30/10/2024 09:21

@AlienLady I would ask her at your appointment tomorrow. I'm scheduled to have my third c section in December and I've been told you won't get a date until a few days before because they are so busy. It's something they can schedule really quickly but they aren't in any rush to do so, if you know what I mean? You definitely won't be given a slot before 39 weeks, it's usually carried out at 39+1 - 39+4, unless you need it earlier for medical reasons.

But I haven’t even had my brief or consultation yet for the risks etc. Does that matter?

OP posts:

meganna · 30/10/2024 09:31

I had a traumatic first birth and opted for an elective c section 2nd time round. It was AMAZING. I can't recommend them highly enough for someone who had an awful first birth.

Recovery was a breeze, I just took it very very easy, no lifting or bending for a couple of weeks, DH did absolutely everything in the house. Was driving 3 weeks later (could do an emergency stop with no pain or hesitation) and had no issues with my incision or anything. It was barely even bruised when they took the dressing off, and healed beautifully.

From what I understand the recovery from an emergency c section is often tougher because your body has been in labour already and has to recover from that process too.

readyforroundthree · 30/10/2024 09:42

AlienLady · 30/10/2024 09:26

But I haven’t even had my brief or consultation yet for the risks etc. Does that matter?

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You will definitely need a discussion with the consultant, but mine was a telephone call, about 15 mins long and they told me there and then it had been approved. If your midwife has already done the referral just ask tomorrow when they will be calling you. They will know when you are due so I imagine it would be really soon. I understand the anxiety though, I'm supposed to be having a meeting with the anaesthetic team because last time my spinal didn't work properly and I still don't even have an appointment booked in yet, despite the referral being done at my 16 week appointment.

Bonnygirl20 · 30/10/2024 11:52

If you would like an elective C-section then I would say tell them now as they will have to book that in. It’s important you get a date and time if you can as otherwise the hospital will deal with births as they happen, eg dealing with emergency C-sections first. I had an elective C-section and it was very relaxed x

YouveGotAFastCar · 30/10/2024 11:58

I had a section and still ended up with all the trauma of DS needing a canula, being hospitalized for 10 days, etc.

You can say no to forceps regardless.

But if you're sure you want a section, that's your right. It's something I'm really debating at the moment. I ended up with a Cat 1 emergency section and recovered fine, the actual birth was a bit rough, I couldn't hold DS for 2 hours as the drugs made me shake, but it was okay, I recovered fine, was up and walking pretty pain-free a few days later.

I've heard recovery is a lot harder with an existing child, and that's a bit worrying, although the section itself is supposed to be calmer.

BroomAdventures · 30/10/2024 20:50

I’ve never had a vaginal delivery so I can’t give any opinion on that but I have had an ELCS and I found recovery hard!! I’m not the type of person to lie around, I don’t like being waited on and I really struggled - I wanted to be able to do things and I couldn’t. I think if you opt for a section you need to be prepared to do nothing for a few weeks other than look after yourself and baby. Hope everything goes well whatever you choose OP. X