Repulsed by the movements

[Tinkerisdead]

Im asking this for a friend who is 23 weeks pregnant, Im only 11 weeks so not felt my baby move yet so cant really comment on this.

She is really upset as she says she feels that she has a genuine phobia of her baby inside her, that its movements physically repluse her and whilst she wouldnt wish it harm its disgusting her having the baby inside.

Ive heard of fear of pregnancy in that women are petrified of childbirth and so are fearful of getting pregnant but not this. Ive assured her its normal as everyone reacts to pregnancy differently but I wondered just how common this is?

I didn't have that reaction but I was very loathe to read pg books ahead of my time iyswim. I read up to the week I was in and kept pace with it that way. I'd suggest your friend mentions this to her mw.

I felt the opposite. I loved feeling the baby move. it was all new and exciting.
That doesn't mean your friend is wrong to react the way she has though. She'll surely grow accustomed to the movements.

I asked her to talk to her midwife as she is quite down and upset as she feels so guilty for not enjoying the experience. I think she would like reassurance that other people have felt like this. Another friend told me she didnt like the sensation when the baby did a full turn but this one is saying every movement scares her literally.

When i was pregnant with DS over 8 years ago I actually cried every time he moved inside me. I hated the feeling of him moving. It was the early movements that were the worst becasue it felt SO odd and unnatural. The further along I got and especially from 20-30 weeks he moved alot and kicked alot and it scared the hell out of me to see my stomach move. The bigger and more cramped he got the easier it was to deal with his movements.
With my second pregnancy i couldnt actually wait for DD to start fluttering and kicking!

I hated the later months. It grossed me out to feel knees and elbows pushing my tummy. I could see his movements, I really did not enjoy it. I was relieved when I gave birth. I love him to bits though so it did not affect the bonding.

Actually I don't like the movements all that much - especially when they make me vomit. Rationally I know that's my little boy in there and that I will love him tons when he comes out but at the minute, he's a source of stress and pain and so yes, I can completely relate to your friend.

In lots of ways it is a very alien psychological concept. In any other circumstance, having another creature living in you would be something you'd see the docs about because it would simply be freaky and naturally the idea of having something inside you which isn't you can really confuse and upset some people - particularly people who've had eating disorders in the past apparently - the feeling of being taken over.

Your friend isn't mad, she's not even that unusual. Reassure her, it doesn't mean she won't love her child. It will be okay.

When she gets a bit further on, the baby will start to sleep on a more regular basis anyway so she'll know when to expect movement and get used to it

Perhaps not as severe as your poor friend, but I really don't like feeling the baby move either. I know its supposed to be reassuring (and it is) but its also completely freaky when you see and feel the evidence of something alive in there! I do hope she doesn't feel guilty about feeling like this. I did for a while as we are bombarded with opinions on how natural and wonderful this pregnancy malarky is and how its what we're designed to do. Well, I've just about accepted that I am not designed to do any such thing. I am so looking forward to the birth, don't give a toss about the pain, I just want this pregnancy to be over and t have my little one on the outside! I have honestly found it all very difficult. I wish more people would talk about it so we wouldn't feel guilty about these 'negative' feelings and could accept them as normal. It doesn't mean we want or love our babies any less just because we don't enjoy pregnancy. Tell her she's not alone. Hope she'll be ok.

Poor, poor woman. I'm no expert, but seeing as there are very few responses, here's mine...

I'm currently 33 weeks, and until the 20 week scan, I detested my baby. I have not enjoyed being pregnant, and find it a chore and horrible (I haven't had an easy time of it!) and I want my own body back. When my boobs started changing I became totally repulsed and for ages I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. (I still can't stand the sight of my breasts).
I suppose everyone is different? Seeing the baby on the scan was a big help for me, and especially finding out the sex, because I couldn't sort of visualise it at all before then, it was an 'it', and (big confession) could have even been a tumour for all I felt!
Tell your friend she is totally normal, and I'm sure loads of women feel completely freaked out by various aspects of pregnancy. Just most people won't confess to it (eg I used to smile when people congratulated me on being pregnant and then had good proper hysterics at home in my own bedroom. Only my husband knew.) I think it's ok to feel the way she does, because it's a freaky thing, being pregnant, and for all the women who adore it there are a few bluffers I reckon. And it will be over soon.

Oooh, practical help: try the Tommy's helpline, they helped me. I also had a great sympathetic (hated pregnancy herself!) GP but then that's luck.

Sorry it's long!

THANK YOU, posting people. I was so scared about confessing to hating pregnancy there!

P.S. Just to re-assure her, and agree with pretty much everyone else, you do get more used to it as time goes on. I'm 34wks now and not quite as troubled as I was in the earlier weeks.

I really liked the early kicks and jumps... They felt so cute... Now (34 weeks) it does feel like our LO is about to burst out every time she wakes up and that can be a little disconcerting!

I know how your friend feels too...I was fine with ds1 but when pregnant with dd I hated it. She NEVER stopped moving, proper hard, jerky, sometimes painful movements which were so uncomfortable and often reduced me to tears, especially when trying to sleep!

I remember telling my friend that it was freaking me out, the feeling of her inside me. I couldn't wait to get her out! The absolute relief of not being pregnant any more was amazing - tell your friend to keep focused on the fact that this too will pass, and she will be able to cope until the day she gives birth.

BTW, my hatred of being pregnant did not affect how much a love my dd!

Hee hee - what a refreshing thread!

I wouldn't say that it repulses me but I still find the thought of something living inside me freaky and weird and I am certainly not feeling the miracle-of-life-motherly-glow thing (and if I mention this then I get told off and told not to be flippant - by non-PG friends ).

Hello! I've just started to feel my baby move- very tiny kicks/movements low done (just above pubic bone). I generally find it reassuring as others have said, but, at the same time, I do agree it is a little odd. I think maybe it's something you get used to..