A bit overwhelmed

[lms92x]

Hiya, first time poster and first pregnancy.

I am 18 weeks pregnant. We have started to look at essentials this week and have a good list from an article on here.

Just generally though... How am I supposed to know what to do? Can anyone recommend any practical books that can guide me or get me ready, I feel like I have no idea what I am going to do when I have a baby. I have read books that tell me how life is going to change and how I need to take time for me too etc and have learnt a lot about birth itself, but not much for practical stuff when baby is here.

I know I have antenatal classes in the near future to sign up for where I will learn lots but feel so unprepared at the moment, which I suppose is normal too.

Maybe I am just a bit emotional and overwhelmed and thinking too far ahead again but any guidance would be much appreciated.

Thanks!

Antenatal classes are a great place to start, my advice would be to try and wait until then before getting too hung up on the details/prep (hard I know!). You could always read a book or two, or follow some accounts on Instagram about birth/feeding etc. There are so many books out there with different philosophies but something like a 'pregnancy week by week' might be a nice way to see what's happening and when, and they usually prompt you to buy stuff etc at the right time. When baby's here you could go to some groups which will help a lot too! All babies are different though (and all births) so as much as you prepare there will always be some unknowns, but that's normal and ok and if part of your preparation is to accept that some things you can't prepare exactly for, that could be helpful! Congratulations

Oops just realised your main Q was about when baby is here! You'll possibly be shown the basics in hospital (changing a nappy, feeding), and then you usually get visits from midwives or health visitors that you can ask questions. Antenatal classes will set you up well though. There is a book 'your baby week by week' that I found helpful for the first 6-8 weeks or so but don't forget all babies are different! I'd recommend reading it chapter by chapter once baby is here though rather than before. Also the NHS email list Start for Life sends info periodically based on your baby's age which is helpful.

Hi @lms92x other than feeding, changing nappies and looking after yourself when they nap, I found (and still do with my 14m old) that your time is mainly just spent interacting with them. This can be as simple as talking to them and letting them watch your facial expressions. You may find it interesting to look into young milestones and have age appropriate learning toys. For example when first born a baby's vision is very poor and some simple black and white patterned cards can really hold their interest (this can even make nappy changes easier if in eye sight when being changed). You'll find a lot on the importance on tummy time too and helping them strength their neck muscles safely in the early days. When you're not just being their for your baby at home, you can get out and about with the push chair, going for walks to say nice parks where you'll both be able to enjoy the fresh air and take in everything around you. There's also plenty of baby groups out there and sensory rooms. Don't ever be afraid to go on your own, they're very welcoming and a great way to meet other new mums. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth x

Thank you, I already feel a bit better reading through that, I am looking too far ahead and worrying I won't know enough😂

@lms92x you're more than welcome. I think it can be nice to look ahead! As long as you've got the essentials covered, which it sounds like you will have, then you should be able to take in every magic moment (including when they explosive poo all over you 😂)!

😂😂 yeah I can look forward to that one @Zeeha thanks! ☺️

Hi OP, I'm 17+3 with my second (DD1 is 4) and I've got the same concerns and worries.
I genuinely feel like I've forgotten absolutely everything and won't have a clue what to do!

I did a free online baby care class and I found it really helpful! https://mybabyacademy.co.uk/free-class/free-baby-care-class/

That covered so many things from nappy changes, feeding, dressing for sleep based on the temp, cord care, bathing etc etc.
It was really helpful and I still use parts of it now.

Honestly our antenatal class was useless for actual baby care- it only covered the birth and feeding (and that was only breastfeeding 🙄).
And nobody offered us any help with nappies etc in hospital but equally we'd done the class so we didn't ask for help.

@sel2223 I am sure it will all come flooding back to you when the time comes!
Thank you @Hotmalibu94 I have seen this class advertised before and was going to try and do it closer to the time baby is due so I will definitely put it on my list. Much appreciated ☺️

@lms92x despite having done the course, I made my husband dress her for the first time because I didn't feel like I could. And I was then left alone with her overnight (in hospital so nurses if needed) and she pooped within five minutes so I needed to change her, and it was fine.
So just be aware that even if you do the course and still feel like you know nothing, it's totally normal and you will be fine 😘
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!

Aww bless you, ok I will take that on board, I suppose it's like most things in life you never know what you're supposed to do really you just give it a go and try your best. 😂
Thank you

Penelope Leach. (I refuse to link to Amazon, he has too much money already).

Penelope Leach - Wikipedia

Get it from an Independent bookshop. From birth to year 5.

Also natural birth champion Frederick Lebouyer. Just reading his book put my mind at rest. I had a completely natural birth squatting.

Frédérick Leboyer - Wikipedia

Can you get in a Douala OP?

NCT is great for making friends. I found the actual content pretty useless. It was all much to focused on "birth choices" and actually most people ended up with very little choice. Also made out that looking after a baby would be worse then it actually was!

Newborns really are quite simple and a lot will he instinctual. If you plan to breastfed then might be worth reading up on but like birth can be very dependent on baby. You can read all the books but not as useful as help and support when baby is here to actually see how they latch etc.
Nappies are pretty self explanatory. Sleep you just have to roll with when they are very little.