Referral to safeguarding team. Any advice?

[Ekitty]

Hello there! My husband and me are expecting our first baby, it is a very happy news for us and we can’t wait to meet our sunshine. However, there is one thing that concerns me. During my first appointment with midwife, I disclosed information about domestic abuse when I was a kid. I was raised in Soviet Union and parent often hit/slap me when I was a child. When I grew up, I had some sessions with psychologist to heal my trauma. My husband experienced the same in his family when he was a kid. Now we are adults, living in the UK, far away fr our parents. When I shared this information, midwife said she will refer to safeguarding team and they will give me a call. Next day, she called me and said they won’t contact me. However, few weeks later on my Badger Notes app I saw a note about “childhood abuse history” and referral that it’s up to maternity safeguarding lead to appropriate manage. Now I am scared they will take my baby away when it is born. I am very upset and do not know what to do. Any advice? Thank you.

They will not take your baby away. Many women have abusive parents or childhoods. For now it sound like it’s just a note on your file and that’s all it may ever be. Lots of women have mentions of things that but nothing ever comes of it. Or it may be be they just offer you extra support or sign post you to help if you needed it. It does not mean they want to take your baby away. Please don’t worry.

Hi, please don’t worry they won’t take your baby away. Social services has loads of children who are being abused to deal with.

You could ask what has happened about the referral but they must think it is not an important issue if not followed up.

They will absolutely not take your baby away when they are born. You would have to be at a proven risk of harm to the baby.

Many people have a history of abuse in their own childhoods, it's the ones who think that's normal parenting rather than recognise that that are the risk, imo.

A referral to safeguarding sounds way OTT, especially without your consent, I would ask for a different, more experienced midwife, and discuss this more fully with them.

Don't worry, there aren't enough foster parents for the babies really in danger, they're not going to want to remove yours! Unless there's far far far more to it (drugs, alcohol, abuse now, chaotic lifestyle etc)

Hopefully some one more knowledge will be along soon with some good advice. unless there is something you’re not saying your baby isn’t going to be removed from
you. There has to be signifigant abuse to your child or signifigant risk of abuse.

From the midwife point of view you’re at increased risk of developing

Sorry, I pressed post to soon!

You’re at increased risk of developing mental health issues during pregnancy and after birth as during pregnancy and when you have a new child peoplw often look back to their childhood. The note will be so midwives need to be more aware to check how you’re managing and if your OK.

Honestly nobody is going to take your baby. They will want to support you after the birth as you're at a higher risk of getting post natal depression as a result of your childhood experiences.

Nobody is going to take your baby away.
You may be offered support, counselling or parenting classes to help you learn different ways of dealing with challenging behaviour as your child grows so that you don't resort to how your parents treated the pair of you.

You have absolutely nothing to worry about. You may be offered some extra support to ensure that you feel ok and you have already made it clear that you don't plan to repeat the experience you had. Out of interest, have you and your husband had the opportunity to think about different, more child centered methods of discipline? Sometimes our childhood experiences get repeated without our intending it because it's all we know. Having more knowledge gives you more options, especially if you have discussed it together.

They won't take your baby away. At most, they'll make an assessment to see if you need parenting classes, any extra support, counselling, and whether you'd be at risk of post partum depression. A lot of people who had abusive childhoods struggle to come to terms with it when they have their own children so it makes a tricky time even trickier.

Thank you so much everyone! I feel less stressed now 🤗

Hi
I’m a safeguarding professional, your baby will not be taken from you. If it was going to go any further then social services would be involved which they are not. It will just be that the midwife at your appointments may ask how you’re getting on, feeling etc as obviously being pregnant and becoming a parent can bring up feelings and emotions from our own childhood. I would imagine they will be concerned about you rather than your baby. X