Why did no one tell me, and does anyone else agree, that worse than labour...

[bohemianbint]

...was going for a wee afterwards? And the prospect of having to poo, jesus....

I practically needed gas and air to go for a wee, and was told to either do it in the bath (nice) or pour tepid water with lavender oil in it over ruined fanjo whilst weeing.

Don't get me started on the fear of pooing afterwards, I think I put it off for days.

Did anyone else find this really awful? Why does no one warn you?!

Agree with the afterpains but actually this last labour was by far the most painful thing I have ever experienced, even joking about another (wont happen) the idea makes me feel sick

Feel embarassed saying that, as I know lots pf people think that a quick labour = me being very lucky and I know that and all, but-

Peachy, then you'll be pleased (?) to hear that as I was on all fours on the hospital bed trying to tell my (student) midwife a) not to try and examine me during a contraction (hard as there was 10-30 secs between them if that and b) that that wasn't my vagina (!! - she kept prodding at my, ahem, clitoris) and c) that I really, really needed to push, I was thinking of you and your account of bellowing on the living room floor.

LOL at MW not knowing where your vagina was

we didn't have the same blardy MW did we?

Maybe she was just trying to be friendly...

LOL. It was just the kind of quiet, introspective moment I might have chosen to star questioning my sexuality...

(what am I talking about? It's THE MOST OBVIOUS TIME to start questioning my sexuality... )

there is a school of thought that says masturbation can help relieve labour pain, but i think it was supposed to be done by the mother, rather than a MW, erm, stabbing in the dark as it were orgasmic childbirth anyone? no?

re the OP, weeing... bottle of warm water aimed over your bits helps, as does weeing hjsut before you get out of the bath

re pooing, eat lots of dried figs, apricots and prunes and then when you go, hold a clean sanitary pad agaisnt your fanjo and perineal area to support it will help

Someone told me to cut up sanitary towels into two and put it over the stitches whilst weeing the first few days. It worked, a bit eek as I was left with a wet half pad. The jug thing helped too once it started to heal. And I used to have a little bowl where I put a drop of teatree oil into warm water, and then rubbed it on the stitches after weeing - so stopped any after effects, and helped healing. It is a cruel blow though - and one that no one tells you about. TBH I have never told anyone, mainly cos I forgot until you mentioned it....

I'm feeling a bit ouchy just remembering all this. Pooing was terrifying, convinced everything was about to split open. Weeing was ok despite the episiotomy. Oh, the glamour...

I am going to keep this thread and show it to dd when she reaches an age when she might be tempted to start having sex. If I'd read this dh would never have been allowed anywhere near me.

This brings back some awful memories... I ended up with a lacerated cervix, torn vagina and an extended 3rd degree tear AND episiotomy...

When they took the catheter out at 3 in the morning (why???) and I had to go, there was no midwife to be seen... That coupld with the fact that the epidural had just worn off, but my legs still didn't work properly ...

I just remember hyperventilating and crying... and it was dark...

Doing my first poo was utterly f-ing terrifying though. They gave me enough lactulose and fybogel to dissolve the alps, great that I didn't tear any of my many, many stitches, but I spent much of the next 5 days on the loo, which isn't great when you've got a newborn, can barely walk and the loo is up 3 flights of stairs...

I do remember they gave me bloody paracetamol for the pain - I mean, paracetamol??

Para-bloody-cetamol?

Mines an elective c-section next time and I'll flatten any doc who says I can't have one...

db
xx

Oh, and number 1 of the top ten things you don't want to hear when being stitched up...

"whoops"

I sh*t you not... (pun very much intended)

db
xx

nope... no 1 is ;

'o dear, this isn't the right needle, MW will you run to theatre and get me another'

and 20 mins (during which she felt the need to shove tampons up me to tell where the bleeding was coming from) later;

'no, this isn't the right one either, check again will you?'

designerbaby at having catheter taken out at 3 am, that is just unbelievable, did they have to wake you up?

You might be lucky first-timers - I had none of this! I was frightened of the first poo and they gave me a suppository but it was as normal when I did it. Weeing was never any problem. Fingers crossed I am just as blessedly lucky this time, but can't imagine I will survive without the after-pains... [worried emoticon]

What a thread!

By the time I had no 3 the 1st thing I did after having her was going for a poo

On the previous 2 I'd held it and not good [shudder] It was much better to just get it done and out of the way imo

... and they still insist on asking "what are you going to do about contraception Mrs Lilo". FFS last thing on my mind when weeing brought tears to my ears and just the thought of pooing had same effect.

Ohmigod I can't stop reading this thread now!

Lulu, I have to say that an orgasm definitely helped period pains, if I can reach my bits by the time I have this baby I'll give it a go and report back! (Obviously when I am still at home and not in the delivery room at the hospital. Although, if it works....).

Slinkie, you fill me with hope! Designerbaby - I say it again - ohmigod. Your poor thing - brutes!