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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Termination due to HG

8 replies

Ellbelle · 19/10/2024 17:18

hey guys,
I’ve recently had a termination due to HG. I have a two year old little boy and had it awful with him however stayed positive as I knew we wanted another child. After week 7 hit I was struck with it. Bed bound majority of the day, sick countless times and couldn’t even sip on water without feeling like I was going to be sick. I felt poisoned, I felt like I was dying. I think anybody in this state finds it hard to think any other way than wanting it to be over. My partner works an extremely stressful and long hour job. I have supportive family, but I just couldn’t do it. After just one week of being in bed, I felt so low, guilt on not being able to look after my son, so fragile and weak were I hadn’t eaten. No meds were working and was on the verge of admitting myself to hospital for a drip. The thought of another minute of this, made me burst into tears. I seem to now be struggling with guilt and shame and can’t bring myself to tell my family. My partner is supportive and understands my decision. I just feel like I’ve let everyone down and the situation is nothing short of awful!:(

OP posts:
babysoupdragon2 · 19/10/2024 17:27

I've been there, it's a terrible situation.
The only advice I can give you is to allow yourself to genuinely grieve. Grieve the loss of your baby, grieve the unfairness of it all. Give yourself a lot of time to process. Lean on people who 'get it'. It's ok to be very, very sad about this.
You made an impossible decision in an impossible situation,

Pregnancy sickness support charity offer counselling with people who understand HG. (I found the counselling from the termination provider dreadful.)

TheShellBeach · 19/10/2024 17:30

I'm so sorry @Ellbelle how awful for you to go through that.

I don't blame you at all. I've known two women who ended up having to have terminations in the second trimester because HG eventually caused kidney failure, and they would have died otherwise.

Please don't feel guilty.

Singleandproud · 19/10/2024 17:32

Well I felt like I wanted to die when I had HG. It's the only time I have ever felt like that and just wanted it to stop Went into the hospital for drip and it was amazing. Ofcourse it returned later but the drip really did make a huge difference.

What will you do next time if you want another child? I decided not to have more, I can't put myself through that again. But I guess it could work if you left a bigger age gap so your DC is more independent and will be more ok with you going into hospital for a drip

Sorry you had to make that decision, you shouldn't feel guilty though, you made the best decision you could with the resources you had at the time, emotionally and physically.

clarepetal · 19/10/2024 17:32

Please don't feel guilty. Your body, your choice.

Idunno8 · 19/10/2024 17:35

I honestly think that only women that have been through this will truly understand. Mine stopped at 16 weeks but it was truly torture until that point, I just wanted it to stop, however that happened would have been fine by me.
If men got this, I think this would have been sorted by now!

Overthebow · 19/10/2024 17:35

It’s your body and your decision. If you did what’s best for you and your family then you shouldn’t feel guilty for that.

Ellbelle · 19/10/2024 17:38

I ended up being admitted 10+ times for a drip with my son and it made such an incredible difference! However it just isn’t that easy. I used to wait up to 6 hours in a&e just to have a drip, how can I do this with a 2 year old to look after. We have decided to rest on the idea for now, I’m only 25 so I guess one positive is that I have time to discover what my options are. I’m just going to try and come to terms with what has happened and enjoy my wonderful son for now:)

OP posts:
Bb542 · 19/10/2024 18:02

Allow yourself to grieve and come to terms with everything. You have done nothing wrong. It's your body and your choice ❤️

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