Texting close friends about my pregnancy

[JessMW92]

I am 11 weeks pregnant and starting to think about sharing the news with two friends I'm really close with. Neither of them have children and when we've talked about it in the past I get the sense that one of them (more than the other) wishes she'd had children. The reason I mention this is I'm not sure how they'll react to the news as our friendship. We're due to meet up soon for their belated birthday celebrations but definitely don't think this would be an appropriate time to tell them. Would it be bad form to text them the news beforehand? How would you recommend telling them and what to say?

Congratulations on your pregnancy . . .

I would not text your friends the news beforehand.

Because it is their belated birthday celebrations - and you're all meeting up very soon - I would just tell them then.

If you are going out to eat - depending upon how much time you will have together - I would wait until about half an hour before you plan to leave and mention it as news.

You being pregnant is just another thing for you all to celebrate together; and you to get their love and support from day one.

This time next year you'll be a mum - which is brilliant - and they may be too.

So just celebrate.

If very close, wouldn’t they have told you if trying?

how old are you all?

I would definitely text in advance if there is any chance you think they are wishing for children of their own. Letting them know in advance gives them the opportunity to deal with their own personal feelings of upset in private and then they can focus on fun at their birthday. If you see this question asked around infertility on mumsnet, the answer is always to text in advance!

I would message in advance if I thought one of my friends was trying and not working out for them. You're allowed to ge excited and it's great news,congratulations. If you let them know prior to the meet up they will have time.to.digest it and be excited for you by the time you do meet up

Definitely text before and the sooner the better. If there is any upset it causes give it as long as possible to settle before the birthday night out.

I would tell them afterwards tbh. If it would be difficult for them to hear (which baby news frequently can be if you're struggling to conceive or have suffered losses etc) you don't want to make the birthday meeting all about baby talk.

If you can successfully hide it for the birthday celebration (i.e. by driving!) then I'd wait til after.

If it will be obvious, tell them a good few days in advance by text if there's any chance it will be difficult news for them. Gives them a while to feel whatever they need to feel.

I think the longer you wait the bigger the deal you make it. Trying to hide it during the birthday will almost certainly backfire and just make it look like you're trying to get attention by lying about not drinking.

There's no reason the birthday needs to be dominated by it either. It's a few minutes of congratulations and how are you feeling then moving on. How much more conversation about it is there to have?

Kindest way to do it if you are worried about a friend is early, laid back and low-key. So she can process it on her own and not feel hoodwinked when you announce it weeks later.

I'd text beforehand - if they are close friends as you say they will be happy for you.

Definitely tell them by text beforehand. If they are struggling then this allows to digest and react in private, and then put on a happy face when they see you - speaking from experience.