10 month age gap

[IrishTwinsAt40]

Hi, this is my first time posting as I have been googling trying to find threads of a similar topic and haven’t had much luck.
I’m 39 and had my beautiful daughter in April via emergency C Section. Before this I had suffered two second trimester losses at 16 and 18 weeks so my daughter is my rainbow baby. I breast fed her until around 8 weeks before I started weaning as I just don’t make enough and she was a hungry baby. About 2 months later during a health visitor appointment I was asked if my periods had returned which they had not. Health visitor advised a pregnancy test which I took and there it was….. pregnant! I had not had a period and did not know how far on I was. Had a dating scan which put me at 10 weeks meaning I had gotten pregnant when my daughter was only 6 weeks old.

I’ve been through the whole range of emotions as you can imagine from feeling terrified that my body hadn’t healed enough and I would rupture to being over the moon that my daughter would have a sibling so close in age, to major guilt that she would be the oldest at only 10 months old. And of course given my history and age that I could lose the baby.

Fast forward 10 weeks and the reality that I’m going to have two babies is hitting me,
I am now 20 weeks and so far everything is looking good. We found out it was another girl which was a relief (the two babies I lost were boys) and we literally don’t need to buy anything other than a cot and a double pushchair (the double pushchair is stressing me out but that’s for another post!) and my daughter is the best baby ever, she’s so happy and has been sleeping through for weeks. I’m loving being her mammy.

I suppose the reason I’m posting is to hopefully find other Mothers out there who have been in a similar situation having two babies so close in age and how you coped, the logistics of caring for two under 1, what I should expect and how your older child adjusted to a new baby when still being so little. Also if a second c section is more difficult to recover from. Baby will be delivered by planned section at 38 weeks and I have decided to have my tubes tied at the same time.

Thank you in advance for any responses. I think I just need to hear that I’m not the only person this has happened to and some positive stories to ease my anxiety.

Sorry no direct experience of such a small gap OP but wanted to bump your post.
And also to say I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second (my first is 2.5yrs) and coping with late pregnancy and a toddler has been absolutely brutal.
Have you got a plan for your first to start any childcare before #2 comes along?

I have a friend who had two girls with a similar gap, and they have a wonderful close sister relationship.

You’ll be getting the baby years out of the way quickly, which is a bonus. You will adjust just fine - people have twins and manage.

I found my second c-section much easier to recover from than my first (planned c-sections are a breeze compared to an emergency).

Good luck and congratulations!

Hey, thanks for the reply and congradulations on your pregnancy! Not long now! I’m dreading the third trimester but I suppose she won’t be walking yet so maybe won’t be as brutal(I hope). No plan for her to start child care. I’m currently on maternity and as next one is due a month after this maternity ends I wasn’t planning to return to work and just start next maternity as this one ends (if that makes sense). I have a good support system, parents are both retired and I have two older daughters 21 and 17 who are a massive help and are obsessed with their little sister.

Surprised you felt up to having sex within 8 weeks of a c section.

I had a 15 month age gap with my 2 so slightly bigger.

They are now 14 and 15 and best friends. I would choose a smaller gap again in a heartbeat.

The first few years can be tough, and you go from one stage straight to the same stage with the next. But there are so many bonuses...

We never had to worry about one of them being too grown up for days out or them being into different things, as they were always in the same stage. They did everything together.. One of them a little late, one a little early.. Which removed competition and made them feel equal.

It is a pleasure seeing them grown into best friends.

I don't think there is a perfect age gap, and think there are difficulties with any gap... But I love having my 2 close together.

My advice would be to think about what you need in place to make those first few months easier...

For us, I had a freezer full of meals cooked, a slow cooker so I could cook earlier before anyone got cranky, a box of toys for the older one when I was feeding or changing the little one, a massive nappy bag for 2 lots of everything in different sizes, and as much routine as possible from the first one so you can fit the second one straight in... Everyone told me I'd never get them napping together, but I had 2.5yrs of them taking a 2hr nap at 1pm everyday where I could put dinner in the slow cooker, do some tidying etc and take an hour to myself to recharge... Bliss!

You'll be absolutely fine 😍