No heartbeat and slow growth

[NatterNatter50]

Hello. Hope someone can give me some hope although I understand the need to be realistic here. I am supposed to be just over 8 weeks pregnant and have been going to EPU for early scans because of previous losses.

I had the first scan at 6 weeks which showed a gestational sac, yolk sac and fetal pole and pregnancy / sac was measuring slightly behind at 5 weeks and (I think) 4 days.

Went back a couple of days ago at 8 weeks and they saw the same thing. Just a gestational sac, yolk sac and fetal pole. Still no heartbeat and the pregnancy / sac has grown but not as much as it should have and I’m still measuring just under 6 weeks.

They wouldn’t say if it’s definitely a miscarriage situation because of the growth so I’ve been asked to wait it out and go back in another 2 weeks for a rescan.

Does anyone have any experiences of a situation where this has ended well? I’m not very hopeful at all and know I need to be realistic but the waiting is killing me. Tia x

Bump

I don't think with that time lapse you're likely to hear positive stories unfortunately. Although on my first scan there was a heartbeat and on the second there wasn't with the same time gap. With that lack of growth during those weeks sadly it will be a missed miscarriage, they will just wait to confirm on the rescan. I am sorry, I know how devastating it is. Take care of yourself.

thanks @SErunner I expect that to be the case. I don’t even know why I’m asking on here tbh. Just can’t believe it’s happening again.

Hi @NatterNatter50. Sorry to hear you're in this position – especially after previous losses.

I'm actually in a very similar situation to you... have had three early scans at EPU (due to previous miscarriage and ectopic earlier this year). The first scan was five weeks so they could only see the beginnings of gestational sac, the six-week scan they could see a week's worth of growth including a yolk sac and beginnings of a foetal pole... but on the seven-week scan while they again said things had doubled in size they couldn't find a foetal pole/heartbeat. I'm due back on Friday at 8 weeks which seems like an intolerably long wait (although it seems even worse that you have to wait two weeks rather than one?)

It's strange, isn't it... the logical part of your brain says there's no hope at all but then there's the lingering thought of 'What if...?'/that tiny shred of hope that keeps you going. It didn't help that the sonographer and nurse didn't really frame it in negative terms – just said it wasn't straightforward and it was too early to be certain of anything but it was good that there had been 'growth' (my partner had no idea it was even bad news until I explained it to him afterwards).

Sending positive thoughts during this horrible waiting period.

@NSC1980 - thanks for replying and sorry you’re having to face this too. I feel exactly the same in terms of wanting to be realistic but then still finding it hard to stop looking for at least a small positive sign and not wanting to admit that this is yet another pregnancy that’s over.

Having said that….i don’t want to give you false hope but in your case I think it’s important to note that you have decent progression at least. The heartbeat could appear a little later if dates are a little out or due to early scans being somewhat unreliable at this stage. So am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

in my case the thing that has worried me the most is that the growth in 2 weeks is only very little and not as much as it should be. Waiting 2 weeks is so hard but they did give me a choice between 1 and 2 weeks and I picked 2 as I was anxious about going back after another week and getting another inconclusive result. Just have to keep ourselves busy between now and the next scan.

Try to plan to do something nice for yourself while you wait. I know how hard it is to think about anything else and also to stop googling! Sending you positive thoughts too and a big hug x

Thank you @NatterNatter50 for helping keep my little glimmer of hope alive in terms of the growth being positive. I have a retroverted uterus and the scans have been very tricky so far – at the 7-week one they went straight to transvaginal as next to nothing could be seen on the ultrasound the previous two weeks. I've read the occasional other post on here where people with retroverted uteruses have been measuring behind at early scans (although the sonographer didn't tell me how far along I was measuring in terms of weeks and days so am a little in the dark in that respect).

Oh, that makes sense about you choosing two weeks over one. I wasn't given a choice but with hindsight I should have (if I'm in this situation again I'm going to) ask for 6 and 8 week scans rather than 5, 6, 7 and 8. Friday has fast become my least favourite day of the week.

I have read posts on here about people who had little growth at 8 weeks but everything went on to be ok so I hope you can also hold on to some hope during the wait.

It really is a rollercoaster of emotions, isn't it. You're right about planning something nice – I'll get on the case and hope you are doing the same. Luckily my other half is working from home this week so the time isn't dragging as much as last week did when he was away with work.

Returning that big hug and keeping everything crossed things will work out ok for you x

Hi @NSC1980 - how did your scan go yesterday? Hope all is ok.
I started bleeding yesterday, lightly and very dark brown blood but still expecting this is the beginning of the end really. x

Hi @NatterNatter50. Thanks for checking in. For the fourth time in a row the scan has left me in limbo... this week it showed the foetal pole was measuring 3mm (which would date me at around 6 weeks). I should have been exactly 8 weeks and am very certain of my dates but the sonographer said that as there had once again been growth I should keep positive. This time she told me to come back in two weeks rather than one... which I know makes sense but feels like such a long time to wait and I just can't see how it can work out well when things are progressing so slowly/so far behind. I really thought yesterday would be the day I'd know for definite either way so feeling pretty deflated today.

So sorry to hear about the bleeding. Do you have cramps too as I think one doesn't mean the end without the other... I really hope it's not a miscarriage but if that is the case then I'm sending love and strength x

Hi @NSC1980 - so pleased to hear there’s progress. I know you don’t want to get your hopes up but it’s good to think positive for now. It’s so rare to have things to be happy about sometimes so, so what if you are a little happy and cautiously hopeful for the next 2 weeks. I have seen lots of posts on here about things showing up later than expected on scans possibly because of late implantation (which you would never know about) and other unexplained reasons. So you just never know. The fact that there is at least progress between scans is really positive. Sorry you have to wait 2 weeks though! The waiting and not knowing is just awful. I hope you have lots to keep yourself busy over the next 2 weeks.

I am ok. I have occasional mild cramps on and off. I have had period pains that are much worse than this so still have a little hope for now and will just deal with the news on Friday whatever it is. I have had a really really busy weekend socially that I was dreading but it has actually helped take my mind off things. Just need to get through a few days now x

Hi @NatterNatter50, glad to hear you're doing ok and don't have any severe cramping. I too have occasional mild cramps but know they are to be expected in healthy pregnancies too so haven't worried about them (when I did miscarry earlier this year I had heavy bleeding and severe cramping within five minutes of each other). Glad you've been keeping busy and the sociable weekend helped take your mind off things. Hope the next few days go quickly and that the scan goes ok – I'll be thinking of you, please do keep me updated.

Thanks for helping to keep me positive. I phoned EPU for reassurance this morning/to speak to a nurse as was very rushed on Friday as they were busy in there and din't have a chance to chat through the scan with anyone. She just read out the sonographer's report which actually said I was measuring (5w, 5d) not the 6 weeks that she told me, and that some bleeding showed up on the scan (she didn't tell me this). Not the reassuring chat I had hoped for but it really is out of my hands so I'm going to do my best to follow your example and keep busy/plan in some nice things to do to take my mind off it. Thanks for letting me offload on you... this early pregnancy limbo period can certainly feel like a lonely place so it helps to chat on here.

Hi @NatterNatter50, just wanted to check in and see how your scan went today? Hope you're ok x

@NSC1980 - thanks for checking in . It was bad news as expected. Complete miscarriage. The good thing is I won’t need a procedure and just need to take a pregnancy test in 2 weeks to make sure it’s negative. I think having the bad scan a couple of weeks just helped me come to terms with it (so I think it was worth having the early scans that I was regretting before as I thought it just. Caused more anxiety before) .
anyway…I am not even going to wait for another period and will start trying again as soon as I get a negative hpt. Don’t want to waste a cycle at my age.

im ok. The only thing on my mind is…given it’s my third miscarriage does this not just mean that there’s something really really wrong with quality of my eggs? I know so many friends who have had healthy pregnancies in their 40s so when ppl say that miscarriages are just part of the journey in your 40s then how come it is for some but not others? What are they doing differently? I just keep thinking of this and whether it’s even worse trying again.

anyway… just thinking out loud.

hoow are you feeling @NSC1980 ???

@NatterNatter50, I'm so sorry it was bad news but hopefully the fact that you had fully prepared yourself for this made it that bit easier to accept. And that must be such a relief that it's a complete miscarriage and you don't need to wait for further treatment. That said, it's such a devastating loss though so I hope you're being kind to yourself and still finding ways to keep positive while at the same time allowing yourself to grieve.

I've actually now completely accepted that mine is also a miscarriage and finding things a lot easier now I've reached that stage (I think all the limbo/hoping/going round in circles was just adding to the anxiety whereas now I've accepted it I'm feeling a lot more positive). I moved my scan forwards by two days to tomorrow... my only worry is that there will have been a small amount of growth again and I'll have to wait yet another week for it to be confirmed... and then no doubt a wait for surgery as I've decided to go for surgery under general.

I'm early 40s and like you don't want to waste any time before I start trying again. After the ectopic I had to wait three months so am hoping everything is straightforward this time. Exactly the same as you I've had lots of friends have healthy pregnancies in their 40s and just keep wondering what's going wrong. I also have at the back of my mind that I conceived very quickly after a miscarriage earlier this year and it was ectopic so if I conceive again quickly after this one I'll be in even more of an anxious state about that happening again. I'm also down one tube which does reduce fertility too although didn't seem to be a problem this time round.

I can see why you're going round in circles about trying again but I think it's definitely worth it (and hold on to the thought that they say you're more fertile after a loss). Have you had any fertility tests done at all? If you don't want to wait for full tests, I did read that after several losses, it can be worth asking your GP for full blood tests just to check there's nothing wrong in that respect.

Feel free to think out loud on here anytime about it – it really helps to talk it through.

@NSC1980 - Thank you so much for your message. And sorry for the late reply, I’ve had a really busy few weeks which has been tiring but the good this is it’s helped take my mind off things. I’ve just been on the go and not had much time to think.

i am feeling ok. Just really exhausted. I’ve had tests done privately earlier this year to check AMH, LH and clotting syndrome and was told that I have lean PCOS so I took supplements for that (inofolic alpha) which don’t see to have worked. I’ve been in high dose folic acid and pregnancy multivitamin too. I took ubiquinol sporadically and now regret that as I recently read that makes the most difference so now I’ve started taking that religiously. Takes 3 months to work though!
anyway I don’t know if there are any other tests I can do. I think all signs point to poor egg quality really which really frightens me about having a successful pregnancy but with a baby that’s really ill or having stillbirth. I can’t get this out of my head.

how are things with you? Did you get any firm updates?

Hi @NatterNatter50 – glad you're doing ok and have been keeping busy.

Sounds like you've done all the necessary tests but hope you can find a way to get on top of the lean PCOS. Have you checked iron levels/vitamin d... that might help explain the exhaustion if you're lacking in those?

Regarding ubiquinol, I actually started taking that religiously last November so I wouldn't worry too much that you haven't done so as it doesn't seem to have improved my egg quality – although, thinking about it, it might be the reason I've managed to conceive three times this year (after trying for a long time before that). I stopped taking it when I got my BFP in September but have just ordered more to get back on it. We keep wondering if it's perhaps my partner's sperm but, other than the basics, there's a lot less testing they seem to do on that.

Has your cycle returned to normal now? Are you still thinking of trying again straight away? I completely understand your worries about poor egg quality causing an ill baby or a still birth but I think those are still very rare outcomes and if the foetus is strong enough to survive the first 12 weeks, then those risks really are tiny.

I finally had my miscarriage confirmed three weeks ago and was able to have surgical management the next morning. It all went well and I felt fine afterwards and even quite positive about trying again... However, things are never straightforward. They told me to do a test three weeks after the surgery and call if it's still positive. I did and it was – so had to go back into EPU today for a scan which unfortunately confirmed there is still tissue remaining and I need a second lot of surgical management under general anaesthetic.. This actually almost broke me and it probably sounds silly but it almost feels like a fourth loss. To make matters worse, I'm going on a long weekend trip with some friends tomorrow that I've been looking forward to for ages as a way to take my mind of things. The doctor suggested the surgery tomorrow but when I told him about the trip, he said I can have it next week and gave me some antibiotics to take away with me to ward off infections. I'm now wondering whether I should have just cancelled the trip and had the surgery tomorrow. By next week, it'll be four weeks since the first lot surgical management... a whole four weeks delay in getting my cycle back to normal and it just feels so unfair. It's like I've gone back to square one.

Sorry to rant. Hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow feeling more positive again!