Pregnant again and mixed feelings

[Pregnantagain90]

Hi

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again - will be third baby, I already have a 9 year old and 4 year old and feeling very unsure tbh.

I have just started a new job in the NHS and had planned on going to uni in a couple years when my 4 year old is settled in school to study midwifery so this really complicates things.

I have no family support (geographically, my mum lives 4 hours away) and hubs has no family.
He is very against having another child for financial reasons which I totally agree with but also the thought of having a termination doesn’t sit totally well with me.
To be fully transparent I had a termination two years ago as I had just being diagnosed with PMDD and was struggling. I feel so angry at myself that this has happened again and totally lost and confused.

any advice appreciated, please no judgement, I know I’m an idiot.

You're not an idiot. Your not solely responsible either, so is your husband.

To give you options, there is a third way. It is possible to have the baby and have them.placed for adoption. We massively stigmatise this choice in the UK which is appalling. But it's there and can be incredibly positive if you can't face termination.

Life rarely if ever ends up how we plan. I hope you find peace with your decision, don't let yourself be pressured either way.

This was me a few years ago so I really feel for you.
We did go on to have a third (after I had a termination).
Three has pushed us to our financial limit. Two of my children share a room. We had to get a bigger car, we have only been on uk holidays since. Having a third does have a big impact.
However, having three has been amazing for our family and the baby is a joy.
I feel guilty that our standard of living has slipped. I can only work very part time at the moment. The kids adore each other (most of the time) and being a family of 5 is hard but doable.
You have options. You know the termination process so you can make an informed choice with regards to the physical aspect.
I wish you all the best

I was in your situation a few months ago, completely terrified, I had not long been promoted at work, house isn't really big enough for another person, just didn't want to go through another pregnancy and all the rest of it. My eldest child has just turned 9 a couple of weeks ago and my youngest is 3.

Anyway, I decided I couldn't go through with a termination and I'm currently 29 weeks, due on Christmas Eve of all dates 🤣 the whole first trimester I cried and doubted my life choices, but I've come to accept that we are meant to have this little person in our lives and she will be loved just as much as her brothers. I'm obviously not offering advice on what you should or shouldn't decide to do, it's more to let you know you aren't alone in your feelings, there's many of us on here who have been through exactly the same and whatever choice you make will be what's right for you and your family.

I found myself pregnant with third and couldn't go through with a termination. I know its going to be hard but it's going to be so worth it. You just make it work x

Thankyou x

I don’t think adoption is an option, would be very traumatic for older children x