Totally unexpected, need advice

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So I’ve had quite a year. I got engaged, had more responsibilities given to me at work, and been through the process of buying our first house. We literally got the keys at the start of this month, and my fiancé turned 30 the next week.

I am obese. In 2023 I lost 20kg. My goal this year with all the stresses was to just maintain it, then I wanted to lost another 20kg next year before we got married and started thinking about a baby (I have maintained the loss so that’s something). I was considering weight loss medication to help with this.

Well surprise! I’ve had the most positive pregnancy tests known to mankind this morning.

I’ve been drinking WAY more in the past two weeks than I ever do normally. I’m still much fatter than I wanted to be before I tried for a baby. I’m not even registered at a GP. I’m really worried. I have never been pregnant before.

We aren’t financially prepared the way we wanted to be but I really don’t think it’s totally unviable. I’m mostly worried that I’ve damaged it! And that me being big is going to have huge consequences here. My fiancé isn’t in town today I am by myself panicking. Is this awful? Will I miscarry due to the alcohol or have somehow harmed the baby? Is being so fat going to damage the baby? How long does it take to register for a GP, is the GP I need to go to?

I'm sorry I’m really panicked. Any help?

Congratulations on your engagement, weight loss and house! What a lot to celebrate.

Well I can help with a couple of things. I also wasn't registered with a GP. It took me a week to get that sorted and I met with my midwife by 8 weeks. You could probably download a registration form online today.

A lot of people drink before they know they were pregnant. I certainly did. My first pregnancy I was on holiday before I knew, drinking cocktails, beer, absinthe, all sorts. Baby is fine and healthy. Just don't drink any more now.

Plenty of overweight people have babies. I guess you just have to be as healthy as possible, and your midwife will advise.

I also was not as sorted financially as I wanted to be. But you have a house which is an amazing start! Lots of baby things can be bought second hand, or friends will pass things on.

Good luck!

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/finding-out/your-nhs-pregnancy-journey/#:~:text=See%20a%20midwife%20or%20GP,you%27re%2010%20weeks%20pregnant.

First things first and most important get some folic acid a higher dose is recommended if you are over weight so you need to look into that maybe someone else on here can advise on the dose ?

Baby will be fine don't worry about the alcohol honestly it happens all the time. I don't think you are necessarily at higher risk due to your weight maybe for things like gestational diabetes? I would recommend looking I. The gestational diabetes Uk website and Facebook page there's great advice it got me through my pregnancy with GD but then you might be totally fine and not develope GD at all.

Congratulations try enjoy it x

Okay I've had a sit down and registered with the GP nearest me. I'll see how long they take to get back to me.

I'm really glad the drinkings not likely to have impacted at this stage then it seems? Im panicking a little less.

Diabetes is scary, it's one of those things that scares me about being overweight. I struggled with mental health and binge eating in my early twenties and have spent the last few years getting mentally healthier, stopping binging, coming off antidepressants and starting to exercise. I guess I will have to eat as healthy as possible and stick to it for real.

is weight lifting bad for a baby?! I know nothing. They haven’t even installed internet here yet I can’t google as frantically as I’d like.

I will try and get some folic acid at the shops today and see what the GP says about a bigger dose.

Some women do lose weight in pregnancy, and some lift weights... but your ligaments are more prone to injury due to the surges in the hormone relaxin. What to exoect when you are expecting is an old book that has good nutrition advice. It is not advisable to fast or to limit protein, but you can eat a healthy diet and continue to remain active. Listen to your body, don't over exert yourself but a healthy mother is a good thing.

Dr Sara Wickham is a midwife who does a lot of research about pregnancy and has recently published a book about plus size pregnancies. https://www.sarawickham.com/plus-size-pregnancy/

Reducing the risk of gestational diabetes and the risks associated with gestational diabetes can be done with diet, from the outset, and not just after diagmosis. There is some inconsistent messaging out there.. but seeing it as a carb intolerance rather than simply as a sugar intolerance might be helpful... eat often, focus on protein, healthy unprocessed fats and lots of nutritious vegetables. https://www.gestationaldiabetes.co.uk/gestational-diabetes-diet/

Exercise is very good in pregnancy have a look at Krissy cela and yanyahgotitmade on Instagram when you can

Exercise is good in pregnancy, lifting weights is fine if done safely as otherwise women who are pregnant and already have a toddler wouldn't be able to lift them. And if you can't lift weights then walking, body weight exercises, dance workouts at home to keep you moving or aquasize or just swimming will take the pressure off your joints.

I was very sick in my pregnancy and ended up two dress sizes smaller the week I gave birth to DD than when I started. But I wouldn't recommend that it was horrific.

A pregnant women only needs an extra 200 calories so don't fall into the trap of eating for 2, if you manage to eat a well balanced diet you shouldn't get cravings as you'll have the right nutrients but if you get famished etc then have healthy things in, yogurt instead of ice cream, frozen grapes instead of a mars bar etc

What you need to do today is get some maternal supplements / folic acid. The drinking won't harm baby - the most common birthdays is in September following Christmas and New year's parties, those babies are all fine, alcohol becomes a issue once baby is implanted and developing

And consider looking into folate and folic acid... https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9380836/ .9

I don't know how overweight you are but I had a BMI of 32 when I conceived (just after Christmas so definitely not at my lightest). I had to take extra folic acid - this needs prescribing so talk to your GP - but otherwise my pregnancy was normal. I was tested for gestational diabetes as high BMI is a risk factor but I didn't develop it. My little boy was born healthy eight days ago. Congratulations and good luck!