TTC in 40s

[Alwayssomething14]

Anyone else? I'm still trying at 43, not sure how I feel being almost 45 giving birth if we are successful and being 60 with a 15/16 year old ! Some days I think just be grateful with our beautiful daughter who is almost 10, she really is our world. Other days I don't want her to be an only child, we dont really have a big family, I'm an only child myself and my husband has one sister that we don't see very often. Anyone in this situation?

I had my daughter at 43. My sister had hers at 45. A friend had her son at 46. All conceived naturally. Now are 18, 14 and 22 respectively. I didn't find it particularly exhausting at the time and as you see I'm not the only older parent in my circle (I know several other post 40 mums) so didn't feel 'old' at the school gate.

Me! We started a few months ago. Im 43 too but I've got a nearly 3 year old boy.

Me too! I’m 42 and have a 4 year old. Thought I was 1 and done and then a few months ago just panicked thinking all I want is another baby.

Weve been TTC for a few months and honestly it is a bit of a mind mess as when you think about time passing it feels scary to have missed the opportunity.

wishing you lots of success

That's so great to hear thank you. How is it being in your 60s with a teenager? I hope it's not too rude to ask, do you feel like you missed out anything in your 50s? Our daughter will be 21 when I'm 54 and (I hope) living her life to the fullest so I'm thinking that's when we start seeing more of the world. Weve never really had time to ourselves, lack of babysitters etc. We are happy and have our family holidays don't get me wrong but it's just things I think about for the future. Id be delaying it by another 10 years, which doesn't feel that much of a big deal !

Wishing you lots of luck, that's a great age gap aswell. Would you be well into 44 when you deliver?

I can so relate to this, it's definitely a mind mess, I follow the pregnancy thread and the menopause thread 😂 sometimes I think I might be peri and find the posts interesting and full of info then I'm back on the pregnancy thread not accepting I'm into my 40s and panicking for another ! I lost two at 41 it's been a long road to mental recovery aswell as the physical side so I feel you over time passing. Lots of luck to you!

@Alwayssomething14 I am so sorry for your losses. Half the challenge of trying at this age is the fear of loss, but you have to keep pushing for what you want. But be happy with everything you have and try not to obsess about it being the only thing you need in life.

I had a pregnancy that I struggled with so I held back trying for years due to fear. That’s a lot of guilt for me to carry around but just have to own it and move forward. It’s all a journey and the support, kindness and understanding of strangers helps loads x

Me I'm 41 iv a dd she's 5. I thought I was definitely 1 and done but iv had these feelings too. I'd love to give her a sibling but I also feel I'm getting too old to start again. Feel I should have done it sooner however wasn't ready. Decided to take the plunge earlier this year only to end up with a blighted ovum and heartbreaking d&c 9 weeks. Since then I'm like yes I'm trying again but then negative test last month on first month trying and now I'm wondering if it's even the right decision. Sorry I'm no help but I can definitely relate!

Also still trying at 43 but very close to giving up, probably this month and next will be it. Have two children so the urgency is less than it may be if I had one and really wanted them to have a sibling. But have been trying 2yrs after my other two both being conceived easily and it’s been hard to get head around it not happening. Both still feel someone else is meant to be here. But like you, ambivalence with I should be happy with what I have, and worries about what it would all look like.

Or older, depends when we conceive. Good luck with it all! I can't believe I'm back at the trying really hard stage again, I'm knackered!

I'm 41 and have a 9 and 6yo. I have a new partner and want more. We are about to start trying. I'm so nervous about it. My first two were first try, first month, I've never had a miscarriage. So lucky. I don't know how I'd deal with a loss at this stage of life

I’m 43 and have been trying for 5 years. I’ve got 6 months until 44 then I’m done. I gave it my best shot but after 3 miscarriages and 4 rounds of IVF I think I need to admit defeat.

Bump!

I'm currently having a chemical pregnancy I just had a week of being pregnant testing positive only to see my lines fade back to white. I'm 41 not sure whether to try again (had a blighted ovum last yr) waited ages to try again now this 😥. I had to have d&c to return to normal last yr at 9 weeks, hoping with my body recognising it early this time to have a bit of an easier time of it.

I just saw this @Itonlytakesone , I'm really sorry, that's really sad. Are you going to keep trying?

@Elderberrier
Well a chemical I can deal with much easier so maybe 🤔. If I'd got another blighted ovum mmc no I think that would make me stop but I'm searching for one good egg..🫠

Good luck, I hope it's the former