Why did I buy a home Doppler??!

[catmum7717]

I'm 12 weeks 3 days pregnant today and I made the stupid decision to buy an at home Doppler. Had my 12 week scan 2 days ago and everything was perfect, but obviously now I can't find a heartbeat on the home Doppler.
I KNEW that these were warned against for this exact reason.
I have repacked it and returned it to Amazon tonight as I know it's bad for my mental health, but still panicking slightly internally (not helped by the fact we had a previous missed miscarriage).

Please can anyone offer me some words of reassurance??
We have a private scan booked a week on Monday

Get rid. There's a reason they're not recommended as you know.

Well done that was a good decision to return it. A professional often can’t find the heartbeat til at least 16 weeks so hope that reassures. I’d honestly consider if the extra scans are helpful, I was equally anxious after a miscarriage but I realised scans weren’t helpful-i needed to deal with the anxiety itself by havigg by having counselling

I think you might be right. I thought my 12 week scan would bring me relief and it did in the moment but I'm back to my usual thoughts. If you don't mind me asking, how did you find yourself a counsellor? I've tried googling but feels a bit like swiping on tinder trying to choose someone..

Good decision to return OP.

im not sure how to put your mind at rest apart from the fact what are the chances that in the 2 days between your scan and today something has happened at the same time as you bought the Doppler? That would be a massive coincidence

It’s very difficult to find the heartbeat with those, especially so early. That’s why I never bought one. I knew it would make my anxiety worse.

If it reassures you at all, I remember at my 16 week midwife appointment I heard the heartbeat but was warned it might be difficult to find because baby was so small. I really don’t think it’s anything to worry about that you can’t find it yourself at 12 weeks.

Trained midwives used to listen to the heartbeat at 16 weeks but stopped because it was so difficult to pick up the correct heartbeat at that stage and causes more anxiety than good.
If trained midwives struggle, imagine how difficult for a mum to be trying a month earlier!

Have you seen a midwife yet? They should be able to put you in touch with prenatal mental health support. I got a Doppler when pregnant with my first for reassurance and could rarely find the heart beat even many weeks after this point. I didn't use it again in subsequent pregnancies, it really wasn't good for my mental health.

Anterior placenta in my pregnancy last year and even the midwives struggled to get the heartbeat most the time and a lot more further along .

You did the right thing to return!

In my area, they don't even try at the 16 week midwife appointment and that's the trained professionals.

Don't panic OP, all will be fine and you're doing the right thing returning it!

They are also dangerous as they can offer false reassurance when really you should go and get checked out if you are worried.

if you can, pay for a private scan whenever you need. Your mental health is worth the investment.

Yeah I was in tears at my 10 week appointment about my pregnancy anxiety even told her I wasn't focusing and losing this baby was all I could think about and didn't get offered anything, also been given no contact details for my midwife only early pregnancy unit and not seeing them again for another 3 weeks :(

Definitely wouldn't use it after I could feel movements it was just to bridge between now and then but definitely didn't bring me reassurance! Yeah ended up booking a private scan for next week, already had 3 private scans plus my NHS one so got a feeling I'll keep getting them regularly until I can feel baby move!

Please reach out to the a antenatal mental health services. You're only 12 weeks pregnant and you've already had 3 private scans and 1 NHS scan and booked in your 5th scan next week. I had an anterior placenta so I didn't feel the baby move until after the 20 week scan. You're wasting money getting a scan every week or two. Think about how else you could use that money.

Better to pay for counselling to help with the anxiety.

I used this website (I paid privately, appreciate that’s not always possible). https://www.bacp.co.uk/
you can filter to look for counsellors who specialise in fertility etc, I wanted one who specialised in miscarriage. I honestly think it would be a much better use of your money than private scans: as it’ll help you longer term eg when baby arrives.

I have been dealing with anxiety due to years of MC, TFMR, failed IVF etc. Currently pregnant again and I agree that therapy would be much more helpful for you than paying extra for private scans etc. I found an online therapist via ThinkCBT, they are all BACP accredited. My therapist is lovely and I am finding it really helpful. CBT is cognitive based therapy so it is based on the concept of mindfulness, being aware of your negative thought process. Every session she gives me practical tips to reduce anxiety, improve sleep, break out of the negative spiral of excessive worry and little exercises to practice all week on my own. The only downside is it’s expensive (£85 a one hour session). I started doing one session a week as I was in a really bad place and am now doing one a month.
Everyone has their own preferences but for anxiety I do recommend the CBT approach to counseling

Depending where you are, you can self refer to perinatal mental health services. As others have said best to reach out sooner.