Baby movements - anxiety inducing

[StephyRose]

Hi all,
I won't be the first or last to post a thread about this but I'm just looking for reassurance. I am an anxious person by nature, a worrier to the core and am 18 and a half weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I also have a soon-to-be 4 year old son.

Due to a loss at 11 weeks in my first pregnancy, my pregnancy anxiety was rife with my son and this time is not much better. I had several early scans before my 12 weeks and had a private sex scan a week and a half ago. I had my 16 week midwife appointment last Wednesday but the MW did not listen to baby's heartbeat which would have provided some comfort.

Movements started about the same time and are very sporadic. I felt baby girl lots this time last week and now since Sunday, not much at all. Maybe once a day and even then only subtle. It is consuming my every thought all day long.

I'm a teacher and so am on my feet, on the go all day but even when I have quiet moments and concentrate I still can't feel her until about ten at night. I'm just finding every day hard.
Everyone tells me not to worry but its difficult. I suppose what I'm asking is - is this inconsistent movement at this stage normal?

Two weeks until my 20 week scan and I don't think I can hold out.

I just don't believe I'll have her until she is actually in my arms.

At this stage I would not be concerned about not always being able to feel baby move. If you're feeling movements at some point during the day I'd take that as reassurance at this stage.

Really sorry for your loss, I can understand the anxiety! Mines an IVF baby and I’ve never been more anxious in my life.
Id say it’s normal - I felt kicks at 19 weeks and only now at 25 weeks does it feel strong enough to be able to monitor it. I definitely had a few days where I was anxious as I hadn’t felt her move all day, and when I spoke to the midwife they say not to really track movement until 26-28 weeks because it won’t be regular enough for everyone. So do try not to panic - though if you are feeling super anxious speak to your midwife. Mine was nice enough to listen to the heart when I told her I was worrying constantly, maybe yours might be kind too. ☺️ It’ll be ok! Sending hugs.

I can't remember but it was mid 20 weeks before movement became regular and consistent. They are still so tiny they easily could have wriggled somewhere where you don't feel their movements.

I didn't track movements and didn't know if I should have been and would I know if movement had stopped. At 30odd weeks I was wide awake at 3 am knowing I had felt her move when she normally was quite active just after I went to sleep. She I didn't feel her move in the morning so I went into be checked and all was fine. I relaxed a bit more after that knowing body was watching out even if I wasn't consciously doing it myself.

Hi OP, try to remember how tiny baby still is at this age so loads of room to move into different positions and tuck themselves into harder to feel places. This can impact what you feel, how often, how strong etc.
It's not until about 28 weeks when they recommend starting to track as that's when a lot of babies normally have a pattern developed.

Literally could have written your whole post, my loss with my first pregnancy though was about three years ago and currently at the same stage as you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and sorry to hear too about your previous loss.

I have a Mental Health Specialist Midwife who has been brilliant this pregnancy and last. She has said not to expect regular patterns of movements until at least 24 weeks, and that baby expected to vary in movements prior to then due to changes in positioning.

Could you ask for referral too to a similar service if available locally? I also found the Tommy's midwives helpline really useful prior to having the one to one involvement.

I think it's also reasonable to contact MAU to get their practical advice. I believe they don't listen in in community midwifery now at 16 weeks due to the possibility of causing more anxiety as the heartbeat isn't always detected in healthy pregnancies this way so early, but do in MAU where they have access to scanning if needed.

Hope you get reassurance soon, I know completely how it is.