When did you break the news?

[superkiff]

We have been planning on telling friends and family our news after 12 week scan this weekend but now we are also doing screenings for downs/edwards/patau so I'm not sure if we should wait until everything is sound.
It's a complicated journey as it's a PGD IVF pregnancy to remove a genetic condition that I carry. So we're cautious.

When did you tell others?

Parents and PIL pretty much as soon as we knew.

Everyone else as and when it came up. So a load of people at 10 weeks at a wedding because they asked why I wasn't drinking and I couldn't be arsed lying. Some not till about 30 weeks because I didn't see them till then and I found telling people really cringy unless it came up naturally in conversation.

About 16 weeks.

Boss 5 weeks when I found out
A couple of colleagues during first trimester due to adjustments
Pil after the 12 week scan (13weeks)
Very close friend some time after first scan
Brother in law 15 weeks
My family 16 weeks
Remaining colleagues 17 weeks as we left work to go into lockdown 1
Friends after the 20 week scan.

told parents and close friends about 8/9 weeks and then had a miscarriage at 11 weeks, zero regrets about telling, it actually really helped to be open and have support. Told early again with current pregnancy. Just think if you’d want to tell certain people if you did have a MC or TFMR. We’re very open about having had a MC, it’s totally your choice but I preferred to be open to try and remove the stigma and shame about MC.

Same here re miscarriage the first time after telling people and no regrets, did nothing different 2nd and 3rd time

I didn't tell people until ~26 weeks. I hate being the centre of attention and found all of the pregnancy related questions intrusive and boring.

Straight away with dd1
Nobody with pregnancy 2 (mc)
Told my sister about a week after pregnancy 3 miscarried (8 weeks)
Told only my sister and not dh pregnancy 3 at 4 weeks. Then dh found out at 8 weeks, then told everybody else about week 20ish
Waiting until about 10 weeks for this one....

If they would support you in any eventuality tell them. If not do not

Parents and best friend as soon as I got the BFP

Siblings, a couple of close friends, grandparents, 4 year old DD1..... after getting the NIPT results at 11 and a half weeks

Everyone else.....as and when we saw them after the 12 week scan.

With my son, told family and ‘best’ friends (at risk of sounding like a teenager!) at around 8 weeks, albeit the grandmothers-to-be were sooner! Then it was close friends after the scan then I think we did a Facebook post around 15/16 weeks.
This time has been quite different. Told family at 10 weeks, told close friends around 12 weeks and now we’re just sort of talking about it more openly to our wider circles. I’m 17 weeks now so it’s getting rather obvious!

We didn't tell anyone until after the twenty week scan. We have been telling friends and family individually since then as and when we see them, no big announcement, I'm nearly 25 weeks now and quite visibly pregnant so it's quite obvious. I was hardly showing up until a couple of weeks ago so it was quite easy to keep the news to ourselves, especially since I had very few early pregnancy symptoms.

This. 100% this.

I also had a complicated journey with my youngest (no IVF though) so were very guarded with announcing.

We told parents, in laws and 1 friend couple around 8 weeks when we got the heartbeat (big milestone for us). Rest of the family and another friend couple at 11-14 weeks ish. Then everyone else had to wait until 24 weeks after I had my additional consultant scans and tests - although if I saw them they figured it out as I was massive.

We wanted some support if it was to go wrong again but also not to have to tell everyone bad news again.

Totally personal preference. As others have said, the main reason not to tell people is in case somethings goes wrong. I've had two early MCs and I was glad we hadn't told many people, so we could control who we told what to. Others want friends and family to rally around them and therefore happy to share. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, whatever suits you.

I would wait until you have all tests done. We didn't tell any extra people until as late as possible in case something goes wrong. Mostly people found out after DD was born.

My first IVF pregnancy I didn't tell anyone until 16 weeks

With the caveat that I only found myself at 10 weeks..

Told my boss about a week after I found out as I needed time off for scans/appointments.

Parents & inlaws at just shy of 12 weeks - but that was only because we wanted to tell them face to face, and it was the earliest we could see them.

Extended family and close friends around 13-15 weeks when I saw them.

Colleagues at work was 16 weeks, after I'd had NIPT screening results come back low chance. That's also when DP posted an announcement on Facebook, so it was out in the open to all & sundry after that.