When did everyone begin buying baby items?

[Everlore]

This is probably a silly question, but I was wondering if I was alone in being a little superstitious about buying baby equipment too early.
I am currently over 24 weeks pregnant with our longed-for IVF baby and I have been very anxious throughout the pregnancy, even though, thank god, everything has been going smoothly so far and our baby girl appears to be developing well.
My husband has been reading some childcare books and making list of things we will need and family and friends have been asking if they can buy clothes and things for our baby or offering baby equipment their children no longer need. This is all very kind but I am paranoid that acquiring baby stuff at this stage may be tempting fate, I know this is irrational but I can't help how I feel. I keep saying it's early days yet, though my husband's pointed out that that is hardly true now that I'm over half way through the pregnancy and entering the viability window. The first twelve weeks seem to go on forever but, since then, everything has speeded up immensely. I've said that I will be willing to start getting baby gear next month, but I don't know if I'll be mentally prepared for it even then. I realise I have to get past this mental block sooner rather than later, otherwise there's a very real risk that our daughter will arrive and she'll end up sleeping in a cardboard box and being wrapped in tea towels!
I'd love to hear from anyone else who has had similar, irrational worries and how you got over it. We didn't tell anyone about our pregnancy until after the twenty week scan for similar reasons of anxiety, but I really do need to get on top of this before our baby arrives. It would also be nice to get excited about preparing for our baby's arrival rather than always focusing on all the things that could go wrong.

I know this is irrational but I can't help how I feel

I felt exactly the same way.

I bought the pram first because the one I wanted was on sale. I think I was about 6 pregnant then. I assembled it at home to make sure I had all the parts and it was working etc. Then I boxed it up again and put it in the garage.

I didn’t actually buy any baby clothes until after DC was born but that was partly because I was given a huge amount of clothes as presents and hand me downs. I didn’t actually need to buy anything. I chose one ‘bringing home baby’ outfit and washed it. Everything else stayed in a box or bags until after I came home from the hospital.

We were given a second hand cot by friends. I bought a new mattress but the fit wasn’t assembled until after the baby was born. DH got sent home to do that, and feed the cats, while I was still in the hospital.

A friend threw a baby shower for me. She kept all the gifts at her house until I got back from the hospital.

I’m just telling you this so you know you aren’t alone and if you feel this way, you can still go on to have a smooth delivery and return home with a baby. You don’t need to have everything in advance. Although, to be fair, it might have been a little easier to get things set up at 8 months pregnant rather than three days post partum.

The short version is that I didn’t really get over it u til the baby arrived. Now pregnant with number two, I have far fewer worries. And, because it was unexpected, I’m going to have to buy everything again because I gave the old baby stuff away!

My eldest was born in April and we started buying big stuff in the January sales, had everything we needed by about 36 weeks

Congratulations @Everlore 😊 (I love your name btw 😊)

I felt very similar to you in terms of the fear and I don’t know how helpful my post will be because I didn’t really get over it! I made a spreadsheet (bloody love a spreadsheet 😂) of what we wanted/needed, then further split it into things we needed or would be ideal to have pre-arrival, and things that wouldn’t be used straight away.

Mine was during covid and there was a huge waiting list for some prams so I did order that at about 26 weeks but it took 9 weeks to arrive so I collected it at 35 weeks and left it boxed in MILs house until the week was due.

Things we would need beforehand - I started picking out what I wanted from 27 weeks (in my head that was the magic number). I was probably about 32/33 weeks when I started getting stuff delivered. I kept it basic and just stuck to the essentials - bedside crib, car seat, basic vests/babygrows (we didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl so just stuck to palin white everything!), nappies, wipes etc.

We built the bedside crib and pram at 37 weeks and I washed the babygrows/vests.

My thinking was - realistically in this day and age there’s not much that you can’t get within 24 hours, even if you have to spend a bit more to get it. I didn’t see the point in making myself more worried than I already was by having loads of stuff and thinking I was jinxing myself.

Also, those first few days when DS was just asleep on my chest constantly, I honestly just felt so content and happy being able to sit there and scroll through all the cute clothes etc ordering him stuff without any worry and knowing who i was actually shopping for.

People thought I was off my head and so unprepared but it worked for us 🤷🏻‍♀️ my friend was pregnant at the same time and had a full nursery set up with pram/cot etc built by 18 weeks😂

Not long to wait now. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing ❤️

You have SO much time for online shopping during night feeds.
I was the same with our first and pretty much only organised the car seat, pram and bassinet. I had a few newborn onesies.
and nappies. No regrets. Online deliveries are quick so we just ordered what we needed as we went.

Only regret was not being more organised with my hospital bag. This time I plan to have my bag organised and packed early!

Great advice. The things you actually need are car seat (to get them from hospital) a bedside crib (although they literally sleep in anything at this stage), a few baby gro and vests, nappies, scatch mits, wipes, stuff for you (maternity pads, breast pads) and if bottle feeding (and it may be a thing, even it if it not your intention) then a steriliser, a few bottles, bottle brush and formula. I did not need a pram until Day 5 with my first liveborn, In all cases, you might as well enjoy what people are offering now without being too paranoid, your daughter is going to be with you soon, and everybody is rooting for you and wants to help. Be positive. Just to explain, I had not a care in the world, but my first, a son, was stillborn, I then went on to have another son a year later, and I had some of the same thoughts as you beforehand, then a daughter, a year later (same day) and then two more children a little later. People do all sorts to welcome their children into the world and at great expense and expectation, but actually they don't need much, and won't use even half of what the popular media would tell you they need. Wishing you love xx

Totally understand @Everlore ! I had multiple losses before my last baby.
I wouldn’t buy anything until I had soooo many scans. I think I was around 24 weeks because I started thinking about how little mat pay I’ll get to do this with 😅

now on to my 2nd baby and have bought nothing at 32 weeks - although I have a lot from baby 1. But there’s still so much I need to do, which im planning to this week

I was so superstitious when I had my first child that I had nothing in the house until he was born! I had been given quite a lot secondhand but they were left with my cousin until after I had the baby. In those days, Mothercare offered a service where you ordered whatever you needed, paid for it and they stored it until needed.

It was easy then in 1983 as most people has 5 days in hospital so my husband had time to collect the Mothercare order and cot, pram etc from cousin before I came home!

Negative side was that there was no paternity leave so he collected me and baby from hospital on day 5 in his lunch hour then went back to work! He was not able to use any annual leave until baby was four weeks old, I was on my own until then!

3rd trimester, 28 weeks

I have been similar to you, after a miscarriage. I’ve been fortunate to be given a lot of hand me downs so haven’t really had to buy anything. I just chucked everything in the loft and then sorted it once I started maternity leave. We did buy a new car seat when I was about 32 weeks. You really don’t need to get much - you can always order anything online once baby is here. Unless you plan to formula feed, I wouldn’t buy any bottles or related stuff - you can always use pre prepared bottles for a few days whilst you order a steriliser and bottles.

We started a list around 24-25 weeks and then did a big John Lewis nursery appointment at about...32 weeks ish? You get a discount if you spend a certain amount through the appointment so if you're getting a pram, car seat etc it's easy to get the discount. I think most things were delivered by around 35 weeks, and then 36-37 weeks we built the cot, washed all the clothes and packed the hospital bag. Congratulations! You can get things so quickly now online so don't worry too much if you haven't got absolutely everything you think you might need, e.g. I ordered a manual breast pump on day 5 and it arrived the next day!

I started researching things from 24 weeks but it was after 30 weeks when I started buying things my dad was born at 28 weeks and I had that date in my head as the odds are on our sides and i generally relaxed a bit more and it all felt more real.

We bought the pram second hand so it took a while to see what prams came up and for what price etc. We did cloth nappies so that took some time to work out what we wanted. I started online baskets at various places and whenever I needed something from that place I added a couple of baby things too. My aim was to have most essential things by 36 weeks but then there was also a lot of stuff we didn't buy until we needed them. A bouncer around 6 weeks, monitors not until 2 years when we moved house as we found the layout of our first house meant we could hear her without a monitor in the evenings and overnight she was in our room as we had to sacrifice the nursery for the home office when I switched to home worker post covid.

What I would be doing now if sorting out your stuff! Around 24 weeks we started tackling our cupboards of junk! Getting rid of stuff we had been moving from house to house without using and improving the storage so there was room for our stuff and babies stuff! We tackled a cupboard a weekend and made ourselves loads more space. It meant when our daughter did arrive there was room for all of us without feeling claustrophobic

We waited until around the anomaly scan and slowly turned to be a shopaholic now. I am 26 week now but, and started to buy baby items in the last month. Before that we had a few bump to get through, so I didn't dare to buy anything either.

Main reason I started to buy things this early as we try to get everything second hand (much better for the environment and the purse), so the supply is a bit more limited, and we better do it while I have the energy or time to fetch the items.

Where is the best place to buy a pram in Edinburgh

i was very superstitious. Had Dts at 31 weeks, didn’t have anything but we didn’t need it at that point. When they were allowed clothes husband just went to the shops to get the preemie stuff. He also got the car seats and pram which we had decided on.