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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

feeling really down about this pregnancy

50 replies

mad4mybaby · 22/04/2008 18:54

am 9 weeks and have really had enough. Was put on anti sickness pills yesterday as went to gp nearly in tears. Feeling so nauseaous all the time. I can barely move. Have a 22 month ds who i just cant cope with at the moment. Its really making me feel that i really dont want another baby (dont worry wouldnt dream of termination)

Top all off, my dh is seeing a speacialist thursday as he may have cancer. My nan had a fall last week and still in hospital, my dad is having an operation on monday and my ds has to have a scan next week as may have kidney reflux.

Tried talking to dh about it all but at the moment dont want to add to his already huge problem as hes worried enough as it is. I just feel like i cant cope and really dont want to be pregnant anymore. Dont know how im going to last till november.

Sorry i know there are people with worse problems i just felt like letting it all out

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Oblomov · 22/04/2008 21:18

Have we made you feel even a tiny bit better ?
If so, jobs a good'un

lackaDAISYcal · 22/04/2008 21:47

sorry I had to run off earlier; DH is working from home and needed me off his pooter! I hope you're feeling a little bit better now

ikwym about the strangers mad4...talking to someone in the flesh is much harder than typing out how you feel. Counselling isn't right for me either; I find it quite hard to be very honest, adn my stock answer to "how are you this week?" is "Oh, I'm fine thanks", when in fact I'm not.

I've also had my moments with this pregnancy and am booked in to see the doc next week.....I'm supposed to be going back after my maternity leave after the bank holiday weekend, but there;s no way I'm emotionally fit enough to hold down a full time job and look after two DCs single handed. Thankfully DH has been home since last Thursday so this week has been good so far.

Maybe we should keep this thread going for when we are feeling a bit low and need to offload a bit, but don't want to do it on the main thread.

Heartmum2Jamie · 22/04/2008 22:14

Mad4, I followed the link from the antenatal thread and am so sad to hear how you are feeling. I am also sorry to hear about the additional worried you are going through. My own family have been through some incredibly difficult times as my ds2 was a very poorly baby (he has a heart condition), but it seems that the things that happen in my family are at least spread out enough to allow us to catch our breath for a week or 2 before the next thing crops up.

Councilling was suggested to me and like Daisy said, it would not have been for me either, I tend to bottle things up, or put on a smile to try and prove to the world that I am fine when inside I am crumbling. I still have times where I struggle, it's what makes us human.

I am sending lots of virtual hugs your way and will be holding you and your family in my thoughts.

bubbaz · 23/04/2008 08:01

Mad4, bigs hugs to you we are all here to support you through whatever you need us too.
Fingers are crossed for all your family too.
Hope it all works out for you xx

Pinkali37 · 23/04/2008 09:17

MAD4- I am so sorry you are feeling so blue you have very good reason to do so though. Just remember when all get's to much at home, go to a room where no one can bother you and get on the computer and talk to us. I think you know by now that we are all here for each other.

I know from first hand experience that cancer can cause a lot of problems between relationships. This is quite usual. In time you your dh will be able to talk about. It is a very male attitude to block those who love you out. Us women need to talk but they seem to handle things differntly. So long as you remember this, you will be there for him when he needs it. Now down to you.... you need love, time and understanding. Any chance someone could look after your toddler for 24 hours and you can escape somewhere with a friend? A bit of you time. I know this probably sounds easier said than done but I think you really would benefit. I also think that you need to contact your MW or dr and suggest you need to speak with someone about how you are feeling. I don't mean to bring me into it but my sister is pregnant at the moment and for different reasons has been signed off work. She has seen someone and it would appear she is suffering from a temproary depressive episode. It probably sounds like a load of tosh but it really has helped her to realise she isn't going mad and there is good reason behind how she feels.

I'm not sure if this will have helped but just don't forget, we are here for you!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Creena · 23/04/2008 09:55

Hey there, Mad4. So sorry to hear about everything that's going on in your life at the moment. It sounds as though you are having a particularly tough time of it at the moment, with so many difficult situations to deal with all at one time. Anyone would struggle to cope with what you've got on your plate. never mind having a bad case of MS on top of it all.

I can't add to all of the great advice you've already been given here but I just want to echo the points made by other people - talking is good, whether it's to your midwife, GP or to us. So please keep talking! Also, please don't feel that you can't come to the AN thread - I'm sure that those who are feeling ok are those who are a bit further along than you and only a couple of weeks ago would have been experiencing full on MS themselves. Everyone will remember what it was like and will have nothing but sympathy and support for you. FWIW, I've just turned 12 weeks and I'm still feeling utterly rank! Blooming? Pah! I don't think so!

Finally, lots of people asked after you on the AN thread after you posted about feeling so bad and all of the posts were ones of concern and wanting to help. I think that our AN group is a great bunch of ladies, all willing to help wherever they can. So please don't feel that you can't post there - we're all thinking of you and will try to help however w can!

cricri · 23/04/2008 12:23

Mad4 Just followed the link from our AN thread and sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time at the moment
I have nothing to add to what has already been said, but I just wanted to offer my support and please keep posting if it helps. (((Hugs))) to you and let us know how you're doing.

Original poster

mad4mybaby · 23/04/2008 12:57

thanks so much for your support guys, you made me cry with your kindness.

Ds is a bit better behaved today which is helping. Dreading dh appt tomorrow. Its at 5.30 and at a hosp about half hour away. I dont really know what to do because of ds. I want to be with dh but dont have anyone to look after ds because of the time. He also goes to bed around 6.30. Dh says we have to put ds first and that he doesnt mind either way if i dont go but i want to be there for him. Do i just take ds in his pjs or not go? If it is cancer they wont hang around with it but i dont know if they'd do anything that late in the day? Its a bupa hosp. Would they keep him in overnight or would he go back the next day?? Maybe all 3 of us should go and pack a bag for dh in case he has to stay??

OP posts:

Creena · 23/04/2008 13:43

Hi there Mad4. I can totally understand you wanting to be there for DH. I would feel exactly the same. I would want to be holding his hand and supporting him whatever the outcome of the appointment. If I was in your position, I would go and bring DS with me. I would think to myself that it's only one day when he'll miss his bed time and, as you're going to a BUPA hospital, you should be seen on time so no hanging around. I would bring some story books, a drink and maybe a little blanket with me so that if DS starts to get quite tired while you're there, you can can just cuddle him up and read him a few stories to keep him calm. he might even have a little nap on your lap!

I'm not sure about what will happen with your DH - I don't think that it would hurt to pack an overnight bag for him, just in case. It could be that they ask him to go back the next morning (if needed) because they'll be able to schedule appointments and treatment and stuff for him then. Do you think it might be worth ringing the hospital today to ask them what normally happens and if you need to be prepared for DH to be admitted? In any event, I'm keeping everything crossed for you that the outcome of the appointment is good and everything is sorted out quickly and easily.

pinkyminky · 23/04/2008 17:09

Jusy wanted to say I'll be thinking all positives thoughts for you for tomorrow. Hope you have some good news.xx

Tinkerisdead · 23/04/2008 17:19

Hi Mad4, Just wanted to say we're all here for you. Just saw the link from our Antenatal page. I was feeling really crap about my pregnancy a couple of weeks ago and I too posted away from the AN thread just to be able to say I wasnt coping well. I got tons of support and I dont have half the stuff you are dealing with at the moment.

Its okay to feel like you've had enough, at a time when your life is in turmoil it is horrendous being able to cope when you physically cannot get back on your feet again. I just wanted to say that the AN thread is all happy but we are all ready and willing to listen when someone needs that extra boost, as you've found, what may have to do though is step off the AN thread to avoid being lost in the crowd.

I truly hope that your DH appointment is okay and if you need to vent, rant, cry then shout us all. We all genuinely care xx

Creena · 23/04/2008 18:28

That's a good point, DoctorsWife - the November AN thread is absolutely mahoooosive and often very busy. It is easy to get lost in the crowd. I don't think that anyone ever ignores a post; it's more that it's really difficult to keep up and keep track of who you've replied to and how things are for everyone. So please don't feel bad, Mad4 and please do continue to talk about stuff on this thread if you like and if it's more comfortable for you.

Original poster

mad4mybaby · 23/04/2008 18:41

thanks creena, doc wife.

I rang hosp earlier and managed to get dh an ultrasound booked for 5pm which means when he goes to see the specialist he can discuss rather than having to wait around after appt. have decided to go with him but will have to leave at 4.15 which means having to give ds a packed lunch for tea! Stupid hosp doesnt have a cafe and its private. Can you believe that?? There arent any place i can take him to feed him so will have to either sit in car or in waiting area to feed him. Not ideal but its either that or i dont go... and then have to put ds in his pjs and hope he falls asleep on way home

OP posts:

dozymare · 23/04/2008 20:02

Hey girls, just popping over to wish you all the best for tomorrow....I want you to know that we are thinking of you and wishing you all the best. xxxxxxxxxx

dozymare · 24/04/2008 19:02

Anyone heard from Mad4 - been thinking about her and her family all day.......

pinkyminky · 24/04/2008 19:25

I think Mad4's dh had an appointment for 5pm, so they may still be at hosp. I have been thinking of them, too.

bubbaz · 24/04/2008 21:16

Me too ladies. Hope everything went OK Mad4

Original poster

mad4mybaby · 25/04/2008 13:13

hey all. Thanks for your concern. DH is ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he doesnt have cancer. Im so happy, big lift off my mind. Still worrying about the rest but this is a major thing.

Thank you all for your help

OP posts:

pinkyminky · 25/04/2008 13:58

Mad4 !!!!!! That is just WONDERFUL news. I am so happy for you. I do hope this is the start of a good news time for you.

dozymare · 25/04/2008 14:28

FANTASTIC FANTASTIC FANTASTIC [GRIN] [GRIN] [GRIN]

Oblomov · 25/04/2008 14:41

oh that is good news. What a relief. And the sickness ? Any better ?

Pinkali37 · 25/04/2008 15:20

FANTASTIC NEWS xxxx

bubbaz · 25/04/2008 16:44

Fantastic news for you. Hope fully the rest will right itself soon and you will start to feel better too xx

ceebee74 · 26/04/2008 14:06

Mad4 - what brilliant news Am so happy for you and your DH.

Hope the sickness and exhaustion is lifting a bit now.

cricri · 26/04/2008 15:14

Brilliant news Mad4 I was thinking of you on Thursday and keeping my fingers crossed.
I hope the ms starts to ease soon and that you can feel a bit more positive about things.
Look forward to seeing you on our AN thread when you feel ready. Take care.

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