C section reassurance

[Sara1988]

I'm scheduled for a c section tomorrow after originally planning a homebirth.

My baby is meassuring 10lbs+ with an AC that is off the charts. I don't have diabetes but my BMI is high.

Since I made the decision I can't stop crying. I've tried to do my own research which has suggested giving a homebirth a go but none of it is specific to babies as big as mine (rather in the 9lb realm) or with such high acs.

I want to do what's best for me and baby but I just can't stop crying and wondering if I'm doing the right thing.

If it gets baby here and you and baby are both safe then it's the right thing to do.

My first was 9lb 6oz and an emergency c section.

There is a LOT of pressure to give birth vaginally, and there are, of course, lots of benefits to it but none of that matters if it makes the birth unsafe.

I've had 3 c sections. Wouldn't do it any other way! Lovely, calm, predictable experience in my opinion. With a 10+lb as your 1st baby, I would absolutely say you've made the right choice! Congratulations for tomorrow x

Thank you for your reply.

You're right about pressure. I've been warned and wary about the pressure to have an induction (which was also suggested) but it's only now I'm feeling the pressure to have a vaginal birth.

I also worry that being told that a vaginal birth will be difficult will make it more difficult and result in an emergency like yourself.

A vaginal birth is not the gold standard, a healthy baby and mum is. I know it can be disappointing not to have the birth experience you hope for, I was the same. However, do you really want an "AC off the scale" being yanked out of your nethers? This way you are both safe, you won't be sat on a rubber ring until he's 3 and you still, despite what social media says, gave birth properly.

Thank you! Hadn't considered that it being my first would also be a factor but you're right.

Haha thank you. This genuinely made me laugh and feel better.

You are absolutely doing the right thing. The experience of giving birth vaginally may have been your original plan but that’s the nature of childbirth and parenthood. Plans change and we have to do what’s in the best interest of our families.

You can’t predict what will happen but with a large baby and an AC ‘off the chart’ the risk of a shoulder dystocia is increased. Shoulder dystocia is a serious business, even when it happens in a well equipped unit with experienced staff and I certainly would not want to experience it at home.

Good luck for tomorrow, I hope it all goes smoothly 💐

Vaginal birth for first and deeply regret it, difficult recovery, two years of physio, birth injury and corrective surgery. 6 nights in hospital, depression, readmitted to hospital due to injuries. Given this is your first it could have a huge impact on you, hence why the c section is the medical recommendation.

C section for second - calm, knew when it would happen, everything prepped. I was in hospital for one night, school run with pram a week later, did a nature walk on day 8, driving again in three weeks. The recovery was a thousand times smoother and everything I look at DS's huge head I thank my lucky stars!

Sorry you had to go through all that and thank you for your post! Reassuring to hear from someone who has experienced both.

Shoulder dystocia is one of the main factors for me. From speaking to the home birth team, I know they are equipped to handle it successful however that doesn't mean it won't happen or wouldn't be scary or dangerous.

I'm so sorry you are upset. I understand you must have a whole lot of emotions going on right now. 31 years ago, my first daughter was born by C section and it wasn't what I planned for at all. I had gone to all the classes and had my birth plan ready then when I went into labour, and at the hospital the doctor told me I needed a C section. I really didn't want to have one but I had no choice really as it was to do with the size of my baby's head and the size of my pelvis. It would have put my baby in danger. Neither of my babys were even big..both under 7bpounds. A friend of mine went through a very long difficult labour and in the end, she had an emergency section. My second daughter was born by planned C section which as somebody says is nice and calm as I knew what to expect. I don't know if attitudes have changed but back then I felt very unsupported by some of the other women in my post natal group who had given birth vaginally but at the end of the day I have 2 beautiful daughters and wish I could have reassured my younger self that it doesn't matter how they get into the world. I am glad to see you have got reassurance from other mums out there too. All the very best to you xx

I had a vaginal birth first time which went badly. A planned section for second and it went well and was a more positive experience overall

I completely understand how unnerving it can be at an already stressful time to have your plan changed but just wanted to share my experience in case it helps.

My planned c section was genuinely incredible. I loved that I could be emotionally present because I wasn't in pain and it being a planned rather than emergency c section makes a huge difference as everyone in the room is so calm and focused. And excited for you!

If you do have one then don't panic if you start shivering like crazy - it's completely normal but nobody warned me so it freaked me out a bit! It passes and is just a side effect of the process, nothing at all to worry about.

There are pros and cons to all types of birth of course so this is not to say vaginal births can't also be incredible. Just sharing my experience as it really was just so positive.

I've had two electives, most recently two weeks ago tomorrow. Both went very smoothly and were lovely and calm. Recovery has been pretty easy for both of them and this week I've been up and about going out for lunch, doing the school run etc.

Make sure you keep on top of your painkillers and have some peppermint tea to hand in case you get trapped wind - I had that this time and it was really painful but the peppermint tea sorted it out pretty quickly.

Good luck for tomorrow!

Thank you for sharing your experience.

My mum had a difficult first labour and an emergency c section with my brother as she has a 'boney pelvis' and this is in the back of my mind too.

I think because I've spent 6 months prepping for homebirth, I'm almost casting judgement on myself rather than it even necessarily coming from external influences.

These comments have all genuinely helped though ❤️

@whathaveiforgotten thank you for sharing. I can get quite shivery when I'm nervous too! So good to know in advance this is a possibility. One of my reasons for choosing elective is to avoid an emergency! So this is good to hear.

@pwblwc thanks for the heads up on peppermint tea! I'm glad your recovery is going well.

OP I was in a very similar position with DC2. I had been planning a birth centre birth and was gutted when that was taken away from me.

DC2 was 10lbs and it was basically a decision between an ELCS or an induction. The surgeon who I talked to said he would recommend an epidural on arrival if I was induced and a specialist midwife to hand who was trained to deal with shoulder distoycia. To me that was about as far removed from a “natural” birth and the risk factors seemed high. I went for the ELCS, was at peace with it but cried solidly for 2 weeks in the build up to it. I was so scared.

Day of the section…..truly OP. It was fine. I was third on the list and I DC2 was born just before lunchtime. Everyone there was truly so so lovely. It was calm and full of joy. I was chatting to the anaesthetist when DC2 was born, I could not believe how quickly it happened! It was also incredibly emotional and I bonded instantly with DC2. It was magical and so special.

I did have a quote on quote “natural” birth with DC1. And I promise you with all my heart that the birth of both of my babies were absolutely equal in what they meant to me. No birth was “better” than the other. I did not lose or gain anything in terms of bond. I look back on both births with such pride and would always encourage you to take the safest birth route offered as this is what will truly get you off to the best start.

You have made the right decision, Op. If I was in your position I would have also opted for an elective. The main priority should not be a vaginal delivery, the main priority should always be a healthy baby and a healthy mother, over anything else.
My first baby was delivered by emergency c section after a completely unnecessary long, drawn out labour where I shouldn't have been allowed to go on as long as I had. My second baby I opted for an elective because I didn't want to risk any possibility of history repeating itself and for me I needed to be as calm as possible. I'm due my third baby in December and will be having another elective.
Yes it's scary walking into theatre, you can be quite shivery after the spinal and I felt quite overwhelmed with how many people there were around me. But honestly, you will be absolutely fine and taken care of. It's over before you know it and you will be up on the ward fairly quickly. It's ok to be scared because you've not had one before but I assure you everything will be fine.

I was my harshest critic and again I wish I could have told my younger self that life is so much better when you are kind to yourself. I am glad all the comments have helped xx

@MummyJ36 they also offered me an induction and I couldn't understand it. Induction just increases all of the risks brought by a large baby and the baby is already very big, so surely it's too late? I'm actually more against Induction than c section! Thank you for sharing your experience. It makes me feel a lot better hearing from people who have had both.

@readyforroundthree thank you! Reassuring to know you're willing to go in for a third. Good luck with your next one 😊