Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Sister upset me on due date, am I being too sensitive?

32 replies

OliveMoonLight · 04/10/2024 15:56

Today is my due date and I've not wanted to tell people the baby names we have in mind, as I don't want to be influenced by others' opinions. My sister knew this but encouraged me to tell her today- I once again explained why I didn't want to say but I was so overexcited that I stupidly told her. She said that my boy name (we are having a surprise) is the name of her nasty ex boyfriend's brother and that she will be forever reminded of him. I'm so upset as that is the name that we love and we have taken 9 months to choose for sure, now she has tainted it and I'm really angry with myself for telling her and angry with her for going against what I said, which is I don't want people's opinions/input, let alone her telling me that, especially on my due date.

Don't know if I'm being overly sensitive as v emotional ATM as it is?

And would you change the name? I was so sure and happy with it but now I think it's just going to remind me of this and also knowing she will have such a bad view of the name etc, I'm not sure.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
LightDrizzle · 04/10/2024 15:58

Don’t change the name. She’ll soon get over it. It’s a pretty tenuous association to start with.

FionnulaTheCooler · 04/10/2024 15:58

Use the name you love. Ex boyfriend's brother is a fairly tenous connection and your sister will get over it, it will soon become her nephew's name and stop reminding her of the other one.

anon2022anon · 04/10/2024 15:59

No, I wouldn't change the name at all. As soon as she meets her gorgeous new nephew, it will be his name, not an exes brother, don't worry. Good luck for the next few days!

kiwiane · 04/10/2024 15:59

No don’t change it! This is why you never share before the birth. Tell her to keep her opinion to herself and you’ve already chosen the names you love.

Snowdrops17 · 04/10/2024 16:00

Do not change the name , what a horrible thing g for her to do she could of kept that to herself . I did t tell anyone my name not even my mum until baby was born for exactly this kind of thing .

loropianalover · 04/10/2024 16:00

Quite selfish of her to ruin that moment honestly… definitely keep the name.

Scutterbug · 04/10/2024 16:00

Don’t change the name, it’s such a tenuous link!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 04/10/2024 16:01

You’re hormonal and sensitive. You have a tactless sister but you also have a beautifully named baby on the way

QuiteCloseBy · 04/10/2024 16:01

This is why people don't tell names, because someone will always have a negative association with a name that is lovely to you, plus you've spent forever thinking up names and are attached to them, and someone then goes 'Ugh, you mean X like Spotty Smith who used to be in the youth club?'

But no, I wouldn't change the name if you are set on it. Your sister will soon have a new set of associations to do with a cute nephew for it. She gets to name her offspring, not yours.

But if you have another baby, don't share names until you can call and say 'Little Ptolemy St John arrived this morning at 8.04 weighing six pounds.'

justfornow1 · 04/10/2024 16:03

Feel for you op and you're not being unreasonable to be upset. It was mean of her to react like that.

Please still use the name you have carefully chosen, and good luck with baby! 💕

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 04/10/2024 16:04

How nasty to take the shine off the name you love like that.

Imagine if you discounted every name of the relatives of people your loved ones had fallen out with, that would probably be every name in the world.

If she associates your baby with her ex boyfriends brother (ridiculous) and not your son (if you have a son) then she isn't worthy of being around him anyway.

How are you feeling anyway? You must be excited and nervous and a million other emotions right now💐

offyoujollywelltrot · 04/10/2024 16:07

Your sister needs to get over herself. This is nothing to do with her.

AllAboutNiamh · 04/10/2024 16:07

She’s a twat. That’s as tenuous as saying it’s our postman’s name.

Do not change the name and don’t give it another thought.

MyTaupeHare · 04/10/2024 16:08

You are both being over-sensitive.

You love the name, use it! It is in no way tainted.

yeesh · 04/10/2024 16:08

Your sister is being a nob

MaltipooMama · 04/10/2024 16:10

Do not change it! You're not in the wrong at all here and it is bad form to taint the name for you. She will get over it and have a lovely new association to that name!

MrsKwazi · 04/10/2024 16:10

Ignore your sister! Tell her the ex boyfriend’s cat’s sister’s gardener said you are allowed to used the name haha!
Can you tell us the name? (Just nosey!) x

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 04/10/2024 16:11

I'm sure if you change it there will be someone's sisters, cats, aunties, brother with the same name who she doesn't like and shel moan about that too. You like the name so don't change it.

Autumn38 · 04/10/2024 16:13

She doesn’t sound the most sensitive so it’s very likely she would have made the same comment even after baby is here if it’s a boy. So don’t worry that you told her now. She would have got her comment in regardless.

at least this way if you have a boy and give him that name, it sends a strong ‘don’t care about your exes brother who I’ve never met’ vibe.

BreatheAndFocus · 04/10/2024 16:42

It might not even be true anyway. What kind of person would do that? And why push you to tell her the name when you didn’t want to? It’s almost like she wanted the opportunity to upset you - “My friend’s uncle’s dog is called that” “A plumber I know with a huge arse is called that” “There was a serial killer called that in Outer Mongolia”.

Ignore her and use the name.

MumChp · 04/10/2024 16:43

Your sister is a brat. Tell her that and don't change a thing

Italiangreyhound · 04/10/2024 16:47

Choose the name you want. Tell your sister not to spoil this time!

Haroldwilson · 04/10/2024 17:23

If you can find a name that no one you know associates with anything, it will be a weird name you don't want to use anyway.

Original poster
OliveMoonLight · 04/10/2024 18:16

Thank you so much all for your replies 💕. This is so true, eff her! She's been like this my whole life so it's my own fault for telling her- feel like she's put so much effort into not being like it during my pregnancy that I thought she'd changed a bit- i think she genuinely can't help it 🙈 I feel a lot more level headed after a big walk and these messages and am going to stick to the name we love, also keep her at arms length while I'm at a vulnerable/easily unhinged time of my life 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
OliveMoonLight · 04/10/2024 18:26

@InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom yes so true, she already has made it clear she really wants me to have a girl and if she so much as makes any weird comments or associates a little pure baby with her past then, that's her problem!

I'm feeling great mostly, on cloud nine and so so excited (although nervous about birth 🙈)! Then the next minute I'm crying at something so random- that's why I couldn't be sure if I was reacting in a crazy way, so I appreciate the perspective from everyone on here. Didn't want to share it with my family as she is well known for doing this kind of thing on special occasions and I feel weirdly protective of her, as they'd be annoyed!

But yeah, so so excited to meet and hold our little baby 💓

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread