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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

36yo FTM: So anxious about the 12 week scan

18 replies

sophynm · 03/10/2024 07:55

Thread does what it says on the tin. I am so crazy nervous about the 12 week scan (on Monday next week). I know the risks of chromosome abnormalities are higher when you're 35+, and I'd just be so desperately sad to have come this far only to find out there's an issue. The days are long and fraught....

OP posts:
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HopefulllHolly · 03/10/2024 08:18

Sending hugs - it’s a horrible wait. I ended up getting the NIPT blood test privately as I was so anxious and wanted to know with no doubt as I knew my age would raise the risk in the NHS test. Really glad I did! Not sure if it’s an option for you but I recommend it ☺️ Good luck - it’s more likely it will all come back fine than not, so hang in there.

FrankieRose82 · 03/10/2024 08:22

As PP said, highly recommend the NIPT test. I had a scan and blood test at ten weeks. So when I went into my NHS test I felt reassurance as my test come back low risk. (Aged 41). It's an anxious time, I'm sure everything is going to be ok OP x

sophynm · 03/10/2024 08:33

Thank you, both <3 There's only four days left to wait for the scan now and they've already taken blood for the analysis. I'm British but based in Sweden - here it's called KUB (combined ultrasound and blood test). I decided against the NIPT as my midwife said that it can sometimes indicate a high risk but in reality the baby is fine. I didn't want to trigger any unnecessary anxiety so instead decided to torture myself with the wait....

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YouveGotNoBloodyIdea · 03/10/2024 08:42

I was the same age when I had my first and had a horrible GP to be honest - who told me that there was a very HIGH risk of me having a child with Down syndrome - 1 in 200 - so wanted me to have an amnio (back in the olden days, I know testing is less invasive these days.) She handed me a bunch of leaflets about the SMALL risk involved with amnio, that it can cause miscarriage, of 0.5%. I taught Maths. The "high" risk of 1 in 200 is exactly the same as the "small" risk of 0.5%. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Whether a risk is judged to be high or low can be in the eye of the beholder, stats about risk can be used to frighten you into a course of action you might regret.

We did not have any tests, apart from the scan, because we decided that having a child with Down syndrome would not be as devastating as losing a much tried for baby by having an invasive test. We also knew that having Down syndrome was not something we would abort for so it was pointless having the test.

pregnancy is risky and it's bloody scary being in those early stages. I had a healthy baby, rapidly followed by two others, so wishing all the best outcomes for you, but please talk through your fears with your DP, don't be railroaded or panicked by any medical staff, put your critical thinking cap on. You CANNOT eliminate risk from pregnancy - but we all have different tolerances for how much risk we are able to handle.

you and your DP/DH need to talk through what you would do in number of scenarios.

AW24 · 03/10/2024 09:30

Don't worry.
All will be well, you're going to be a great mum.
I'm 44 with no 3, some people are only staying in 40's now.

sel2223 · 03/10/2024 09:50

Sending hugs - it's such an anxious time!

I was 37 when I had my first and now pregnant with my second at 41.
I didn't have NIPT in my first pregnancy as didn't feel the need unless the combined screening had shown something (which it didn't). This time, I preempted a high risk result because I was over 40 so got the NIPT done before the 12 week scan (all low risk)

Gia899 · 03/10/2024 11:27

Oh my love, solidarity as someone of a similar age also dreading mine in the coming weeks.

A sonographer told me bad news is so, so rare. And remember egg quality and fertility doesn't fall off a cliff at 35.

What are you doing to keep busy? I'm on a cleaning mission and having an autumn clean in my spare time which makes time pass quickly.

sophynm · 03/10/2024 14:33

Gia899 · 03/10/2024 11:27

Oh my love, solidarity as someone of a similar age also dreading mine in the coming weeks.

A sonographer told me bad news is so, so rare. And remember egg quality and fertility doesn't fall off a cliff at 35.

What are you doing to keep busy? I'm on a cleaning mission and having an autumn clean in my spare time which makes time pass quickly.

I'm trying to stay busy, working and like you plan on doing a deep clean of my house this weekend! Might even go to IKEA and buy some furniture that'll take me hours to put together 😅

Keeping everything crossed for both of us 💝

OP posts:
Alectoishome · 03/10/2024 15:10

I'm 35 and also have my 12 week scan on Monday! I've been a nervous wreck. Good luck, its such a hard wait x

ChunkyTrees · 03/10/2024 15:16

@sophynm and @gia899
I am 38 with my 12 week scan next week, I know how you feel. I was actually really looking forward to it until anxiety suddenly hit me this week.
It's horrible but I think all we can do is hold our breath and go through it. Like others have said a worrying result is much rarer than an ok result.
Best of luck, I'm sure we'll be fine.

FrankieRose82 · 08/10/2024 08:24

@sophynm How did it go OP?

sophynm · 08/10/2024 08:26

FrankieRose82 · 08/10/2024 08:24

@sophynm How did it go OP?

It went well, thank you for thinking of me! We saw baby yesterday, wriggling around, putting its hands in its mouth and yawning :) Combined results also showed a low risk of chromosome abnormalities which was suuuuucchhhhh a huge relief!!!

OP posts:
FrankieRose82 · 08/10/2024 08:42

@sophynm Amazing news! So happy for you. Now to relax and enjoy your pregnancy. :)

sophynm · 13/10/2024 11:34

@ChunkyTrees @Gia899 @Alectoishome any update? 💓

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Pyjamatimenow · 13/10/2024 11:39

I was 37 having my last. My mum
had my sister at 41. Chances are you will be ok. I really sympathise though. It’s a very scary time.

Alectoishome · 13/10/2024 12:12

Thank you for asking, all appeared to be fine.

ChunkyTrees · 13/10/2024 14:43

Very glad it seems everyone has had reassuring results :) Same here, lovely scan and combined test results look good, thanks for asking.

Just got the date for the 20 week scan but feeling much more relaxed about this one.

Gia899 · 13/10/2024 19:15

sophynm · 13/10/2024 11:34

@ChunkyTrees @Gia899 @Alectoishome any update? 💓

Hi OP. Yes! Thank you for asking. NIPT results all fine (and also found out we're expecting another little girl - so excited to see a bond between sisters). Nervous for my 12 week scan this week but I'd be more so if I didn't get the NIPT done.

So pleased to hear about the good results. Try to enjoy it now all.

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