Tonight I can't sleep, I need advice 😩
When I was 15 due to medical reasons I was told I would never become a mum unless I had help.
Several years later i fell pregnant naturally and had 3 miscarriages in total.
fast forward i am now mum too 3 beautiful children.
My first pregnancy (naturally) I was high risk after developing pre eclampsia, I was induced and my daughter was born very tiny.
2nd pregnancy (medication taken to help) 5 years later I again was high risk mainly down to my first but I developed kidney stones which cause immense pain and pneumonia which seen me hospitalised, again I was induced 38 weeks and again my little one was born low birth weight
3 years later I got pregnant with my 3rd and "final" baby (also medicated and helped) and developed PPROM putting me at high risk again after my waters broke at 18 weeks, I managed to stay pregnant and deliver my baby 5 weeks early and she was my smallest of babies.
After 3 not so nice pregnancies I decided I couldn't put my body though it any more. The risk was too high after developing 3 very dangerous illnesses during pregnancy. And iv put it down to my body confirming what my doctor said when I was 15.
Anyway recently I was put on antibiotics for a chest infection, at the time there was no mention if it would effect my birth control and a bit stupid of me I didn't ask as it was the last thing on my mind that day. 3 and half month later I kept feeling dizzy, sick, stomach cramps and even fainted while at work, I felt awful. I was sent home and called the GP with no luck I went to out of hours later that night, I was asked If I could be pregnant which my obvious response was no as I never missed my birth control and most of the time we paired this with the pull out method or condoms. While at the a&e out of hours they sent me for further testing and too my suprise I found out my hcg levels was through the roof, I was sent for a scan and while lying there crying I find out I'm pregnant, not to just 1 baby but 2!!!
At this point I am kicking myself thinking about the antibiotics and how it must of effected my birth control, and recall a date night where we didn't use either extra method In a moment of passion.
I am now teriffied, 3 high risk pregnancies that made me very very poorly, putting myself and babies at risk, I am now pregnant with twins!!! I have never believed in abortion personally, like how could I after heart broken 18 year old me sat their broken hearted because I had a miscarriage after being told I'd struggle to have kids to then go on to have 2 more 💔 but I know my body won't cope this time I am high risk with twins alone, but to then high risk of pprom or pre-eclampsia again, or something else?
I need to be here for my 3 I have and be healthy for them, but a small part of me is thinking I got 2 little babies in me, was it ment to be 😞